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It's not all about you.

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
In certain situations, do you feel like yelling at the person you're talking to, or listening to, or engaging with on a forum: "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!" ?

In my teaching career, there were a couple of parents who I confronted. Little Johnny was having trouble at school, and Mom came and ignored any talk about her child, and turned it into an impromptu psychological meeting, and I got to be the psychologist, involuntarily. I'm not a divorce counsellor, I'm not a depression counsellor, or a career counsellor, I'm your kid's teacher. Let's make it about him.

The more we can start thinking about the needs of others, the less we think about ourselves. I appreciate folks who ask how you're doing.

Thoughts?
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
My brother in law is schizophrenic and it's most definitely all about him. We speak on the phone or messenger roughly 3 hours a day and i sometimes long to scream "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU"...but i never do, it would only drive him away when he needs help.
 

Subduction Zone

Veteran Member
Too many people still do not understand that wearing masks is not about them. I wonder how many times it will have to be explained that masks help to prevent those that have Covid but do not know it yet from spreading it further. I don't wear a mask for me. I wear one for you.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
My brother in law is schizophrenic and it's most definitely all about him. We speak on the phone or messenger roughly 3 hours a day and i sometimes long to scream "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU"...but i never do, it would only drive him away when he needs help.

Yes, one has to consider the consequences before yelling that at anyone. It reminds me of the 'first date' scenes in movies where after the first date, the guy can't remember her name. Sad really. My sister had some of that in here, but if someone has a known diagnosis, I find it easier to accept.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Too many people still do not understand that wearing masks is not about them. I wonder how many times it will have to be explained that masks help to prevent those that have Covid but do not know it yet from spreading it further. I don't wear a mask for me. I wear one for you.

So true. The ones who truly understand protecting from it wear face shields. (Like the vaccinators)
 

JustGeorge

Not As Much Fun As I Look
Staff member
Premium Member
Sometimes I find it helpful to say "its not really about you" in different terms...

"The city isn't picking on you by making you move your broken car. Its just an ordinance, and they do it to everyone."

"Do you really think your coworker has that much extra time on their hands that they're trying to sabotage you?"

"Do you think your husband may be being crabby because he's stressed about his health?"

My favorite that I really did have to use recently... "I don't mean to be rude, but do you really think you're interesting to a point that multiple people are trying to stalk or record you?"

I only bother doing that with chronic offenders. Otherwise, I consider it venting(which most people need to do from time to time).

In the case of people dumping their sorrows at inappropriate times(like a teacher's conference), I'd probably redirect "gee, that stinks, but here's what Johnny did today". And take note that perhaps Mom is part of Johnny's problem.

Glad you're doing well, @Vinayaka . Keep up the good work. ;)
 

Subduction Zone

Veteran Member
So true. The ones who truly understand protecting from it wear face shields. (Like the vaccinators)
Even face shields are not perfect. It is sneaky little virus. It tends to leave the body in water droplets. A "naked virus" will not survive for long. Masks trap or slow down the speed of droplets so that they fall to the floor. They are not perfect at that, nor are they perfect shields. They do lower the transmission rate.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Even face shields are not perfect. It is sneaky little virus. It tends to leave the body in water droplets. A "naked virus" will not survive for long. Masks trap or slow down the speed of droplets so that they fall to the floor. They are not perfect at that, nor are they perfect shields. They do lower the transmission rate.

When out temple was still open, the volunteers wore both. You see a few docs and nurses in the full space suit thing.
 

Jainarayan

ॐ नमो भगवते वासुदेवाय
Staff member
Premium Member
When I use “it’s not all about you” it’s usually at my husband. It’s the way he and his sister were raised.Their mother was one who thought she could talk to anyone anyway she wanted. It usually backfired on her. Her daughter was a carbon copy, meh, still is. At the risk of self-aggrandizement it’s taken me 25 years to get my husband out of that. This was my dharma I guess. My stock comment is “The center of the Milky Way Galaxy is a supermassive black hole called Sagittarius A-Star... you are not it”.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Oddly enough, I think the folks who need to hear it the most have selective hearing. But it's all good.
 

Stevicus

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
It's all about me...me, me, me...and me, too.

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stvdv

Veteran Member: I Share (not Debate) my POV
I appreciate folks who ask how you're doing.

Thoughts?

How are you doing?

I'm fine, thanks. That's generally the case. You?

I'm doing okay for a Thursday. Thank you for asking.

I was about to ask "How are you doing?"
Not needed anymore

I just woke up
Seeing both of you are doing fine
Made me smile ... good start of the day

Thanks. So in short "I am doing okay too"
 

SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
In certain situations, do you feel like yelling at the person you're talking to, or listening to, or engaging with on a forum: "IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU!!" ?

In my teaching career, there were a couple of parents who I confronted. Little Johnny was having trouble at school, and Mom came and ignored any talk about her child, and turned it into an impromptu psychological meeting, and I got to be the psychologist, involuntarily. I'm not a divorce counsellor, I'm not a depression counsellor, or a career counsellor, I'm your kid's teacher. Let's make it about him.

The more we can start thinking about the needs of others, the less we think about ourselves. I appreciate folks who ask how you're doing.

Thoughts?

I'm confused. Is this thread about me?
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I'm confused. Is this thread about me?
What would we call that ... somebody who thinks a thread about making things about themselves thinking it's about themselves? Irony, not quite.

Hey, if you want to to be about you, go ahead. You're a mod, go change the title to "Why does Salix always think everything is about him?"
 
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