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It's a mental illness

Discussion in 'Journals' started by Eddi, Jan 25, 2023.

  1. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    I cannot remember the exact time it all began.....

    I used to think it was the secret service

    Then I thought it was God

    Then I thought reality was a computer simulation and that it was The Computer God

    Then I thought it was an evil demon sent by Satan

    Now I know it is all in my head

    Inexplicable, perplexing, bewildering things have happened to me

    I have been way beyond the frontiers of sanity and of what is normal

    Crazy things have happened to me, very memorable crazy things

    But I have now returned

    It isn't the secret service

    It isn't God

    It isn't The Computer God

    It's not a demon

    It's a mental illness

    I am mentally ill

    That's the reality of my situation, I realise that now

    I revoke all claims I've ever made to the contrary
     
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  2. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist

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    You're also a survivor.
     
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  3. syo

    syo Well-Known Member

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    You're confused.
     
  4. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    No I'm not

    I am self-aware
     
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  5. Nakosis

    Nakosis Time Efficient Lollygagger
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    What is mental wellness?
    I mean what conditions would be necessary for you to be mentally well?
     
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  6. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    Not experiencing a state of mind which leads me to believe an unseen being is communicating with me
     
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  7. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist

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  8. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    Of course it's all in your head. That doesn't make it any less real.
     
  9. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    I'd say that it does :D

    FT.jpg
     
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  10. Exaltist Ethan

    Exaltist Ethan Synverse Shaper

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    You may be mentally ill, but you are also more than your mental illness. Your illness may have defined your past but it doesn't need to define your future. You are more self-aware now than you ever have been. I'm proud of you.

    ... although, I seem to be different than most people who are mentally ill. When I'm symptomatic I'm less spiritual/religious.
     
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  11. Secret Chief

    Secret Chief Leaderless Animal

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    There's a lot of it about. Whatever else you are, you are, to me, also a very intelligent, articulate, perceptive and coherent being.
     
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  12. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist

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    Did you read the OP? Are you familiar with Ed's situation? Feelings of being recruited by the secret service >>> God >>> a computer-God >>> a demon. And cycling between these? These are not real.
     
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  13. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    Now. But during his episodes they are absolutely real to him.

    This isn't a knock against his situation. I have my own mental health struggles with anxiety, depression, psychosis and paranoia at times.
     
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  14. Exaltist Ethan

    Exaltist Ethan Synverse Shaper

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    I believe that everybody actually has two beings inside of them. Think about it. Your chronozones are 23 pairs, you are literally half of your mother and half of your father's DNA. You also have two separate and equal frontal lobes in your head. So the belief that you have an unseen being is probably just you yourself projecting your other half as an invisible agent in your life.

    I talk to myself every single day. I argue with myself often too. I have noticed this phenomena and believe it is similar to your concept of an unseen being. There's two sides to every equation, two voices inside every head, two sides to every coin. While I do talk to myself I make it very clear to me that it is myself that I am talking to.

    If you can realize this, and be even a little more self-aware than you are now, I'm sure the mysticism involved with it will soon disappear.
     
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  15. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    If you can tell me where your perceptions start and end, I may believe you.
     
  16. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    I'm not sure what exactly you are getting at here
     
  17. Eddi

    Eddi Eddifying
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    I'm sorry to hear that
     
  18. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist

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    The recruitment wasn't real. It wasn't happening. Special, intelligent, gifted? All yes.

    Recruited by secret service, recruited by God, recruited by a computer, recruited by a demon. Add to that visual, auditory, tactile hallucinations, and some other things too? None of that was real. If the word 'real' is problematic, none of it is true.

    Not only that, but, Ed has been asking for help with this for years.

    Some people never recover from something like this. Supporting the recovery, is the right thing to do.
     
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  19. VoidCat

    VoidCat Pronouns: any and all including it/it's and neo

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    (Hugs) mental illness can be tough. I dont have hallucinations but I do have mental illness. I get flashbacks sometimes of the past that pull me out of reality briefly and i have to remind myself of the present. I dont know if that's similar to your situation but it's the best I got to relate. Im here for you if you ever need to talk.
     
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  20. The Hammer

    The Hammer Wyrd Wide Web
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    Sure,

    Let's say a Dr figures out how to plant a tiny wire in your brain, that can somehow make you think you are in pain, and turns it on. Now it doesn't cause any actual harm to you, just makes you think your hurting.

    Are you really in pain or not?

    I don't think it really matters whether it's simulated pain or real pain, if you are feeling it then it is real to you.


    Edit: Now what I am getting at isn't that the **** you thought was a reflection of reality, but that in the moment that it is happening, it's real to you. and that's really all that matters. Recognizing that, and learning to work around it if and when it starts happening again.
     
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