Is spanking your kids ok?

[SaraLee]

Ceridwen018 said

I would like to extend this idea to not only cover spanking, but also the treatment and discipline of a young child in general.

It isn't only spanking as a means of discipline that chilren need to tolerate at the hands of adults. Negative or misguided verbal and emotional pain can be inflicted on the young as well. Now that I'm older I understand that children are little people without experience, but they posses feelings and inate understanding of love the same as adults. When kids are put down with words or they hear a tone in the parent's voice that says they are very bad, or not worth my time, or when parents give them looks that could kill, those memories remain, even if the child can't consciously bring them up when they get older.

Everything that happens to us is imbedded in our mind, body and spirit. I didn't realize this myself till I was older and I looked back and remembered times when I said things or gave my kids one of those looks that totally went against their well being. My kids grew into fine adults but as I now watch how they handle their children, I see them using some of the same negative patterns that I used when they were young and we've talked about this in hopes that they also come to realize the importance of building up rather than tearing down their children.
SaraLee

 

[Sunstone]

I just heard a local radio talk show host assert that "kids today don't fear punnishment from their parents" and that this has led to "the current sorry state of our society". Apparently, he thinks that spanking kids improves society. But how can that be?

 

[Ceridwen018]

Personally, getting spanked, (as well as enduring other forms of negative reinforcement) by my parents just made me more rebellious.

 

[SaraLee]

Personally, getting spanked, (as well as enduring other forms of negative reinforcement) by my parents just made me more rebellious.

Me too. And not only when I was a kid, but if I get negative reinforcement today it doesn't make me want to work harder, it only makes me feel bad or creates more negativity. That's why I don't understand why anyone could think that spanking kids, or talking down to them is a good idea, when, as an adult, we consider that kind of behavior inappropriate and destructive and go so far as to have laws against those kinds of actions.
SaraLee

 

[Melody]

When I get married and have kids, (or 'if' I suppose, lol), my house will be run on logic and intelligent problem solving. None of this 'because I'm the mom, that's why" business....Yes, I know what you're all thinking--"Heh, heh--she talks big now!"

Not sayin' nuthin.

 

[Melody]

I just heard a local radio talk show host assert that "kids today don't fear punnishment from their parents" and that this has led to "the current sorry state of our society". Apparently, he thinks that spanking kids improves society. But how can that be?

No, the current sorry state of our society (at least as it relates to teen crime) is due to a "lack" of guidance from the parents. There are many reasons (some good...some not so good) for this, but the result is the same. Children learning behavioral mores from their peers and television instead of from their parents.