Is Jealousy a Sign of Love?

[Valjean]

Allow me to throw in my hat with the "jealousy is insecurity" crowd...

 

[Yerda]

Preamble

I always maintain that people should be free to 'do what they want'. In my previous relationships I've always made it clear that my partner can see other people (because I will). Ironically, neither my partners - to my knowlegde, or I, have seen other people. I can't honestly say I would definitely not be jealous though. To me there is a clear separation between jealousy and possesiveness, abuse, or even insecurity.

EDIT: Forgot to answer the question.

I don't believe jealousy is a sign of love. It might be a sign of wanting something someone else has. Depends on the nature of the jealousy.

 

[Sunstone]

I think it's possible that some evolutionary biologists and psychologists are correct in saying we are innately programed to be jealous. Their reasoning is that an individual who is jealous of his mate might be more likely to pass on his own genes than an individual who has no jealousy of his mate's association with others. But regardless of whether we are innately programed to be jealous or not, the emotion is usually destructive and should be managed, rather than given free rein.

 

[Yerda]

But regardless of whether we are innately programed to be jealous or not, the emotion is usually destructive and should be managed, rather than given free rein.

Very much how I see it. I don't believe that I have the right to control someone's movements or behaviour as a possible result of feeling jealous. It's not an excuse to repress a person you supposedly 'love'.

 

[michel]

If I may, I'll thrown in my twopence's worth.


I was madly in love (One of the many times) with a girl who was -well, to put it nicely- not as enamoured by me as I was with her.

She got herself a job as a saleswoman (being picked up by her area manager in a car each morning). Well, she ended up having a 'fling' with her area manager - she told me outright. He was obviously going to dump her as soon as he wished, and I still visited her home daily.

One day, I was sitting with her Father, who was worried (He knew the manager was a 'wrong'un'). He asked me how I kept so calm, and still went to see her every day.

I just told him that I realized, as she soon would, that this guy was just a 'user', and that he would 'dump' her pretty shortly (which he infact did). I wanted to be there for her when things went wrong.

That was the start of a great relationship between her father and me; one that lasted long after his daughter and I parted company. Unfortunately, he is dead now; I miss him greatly.

 

[Sunstone]

I think when you clearly see how destructive jealousy is in a relationship, it comes natural to you to let it go and be rid of it. I have never seen a relationship dominated by jealousy that was healthy for either partner. Not even once.

 

[John Eastern]

A jealous God? Okay folks, I want you to open your bibles Ex. 20:5. Read, and believe... shucks! beat to the verse! That's why the triune God was invented, um, made up, realized. Well, let's just say it's there. I will be better, I will...read, first.

 

[Fluffy]

I agree with what others have said on this thread, jealous is caused by insecurity. Unfortunately, the same could be said for love .