Is it okay to hit your children?

[Aqualung]

There are always exceptions to every rule, extenunating circumstances. George Burns smoked cigars daily for decades and still lived to a ripe old age. That doesn't mean that smoking doesn't cause cancer.

Of course there are extenuating circumstances. But I htink the extenuating ones are the ones who are impacted negatively from the hitting (not from the lack of love, or from having an alcoholic father or whatever, but from the hitting.)

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

I know that when I get really angry my first response is still to lash out. I have to restrain myself and give myself a "timeout" for the urge to pass. It usually only takes a moment these days to get over it but the initial impulse is still there.

I think lashing out is a very common reaction, I know I have done it. It is also a very stupid and dangerous reaction. because in lashing out, You are not thinking,or controlling your strength or selecting a target.The result can be disastrous, It is only luck if you get away with out any problems.
The person you lash out at; man, woman or child, loses respect for you.
All in all a bad result.

Terry
___________________________-
Blessed are those who suffer in the cause of right, the kingdom of heaven is theirs.

 

[Lindsey-Loo]

Hitting children? No way! I prefer spanking, and there is a big differance between the two. We have a friend who won't discipline their children. The only the discipline they recieve, and rarely, is time out. The kids are both wild. They back talk their parents, are spoiled, and don't play well with others. Even though they have never been hit in their lives, they bully other kids.

Spanking is much more effective. It gets the message across, and teaches the kids that this is bad. Missing one minute from watching Barney to go stand in the corner isn't going to do anything.

When I was little, I got spanked for doing wrong, and sometimes even switched (now that I wouldn't reccomend unless the offense is, just, huge). I ended up loving my parents and respecting them more than some of my peers, who believed that their parents' word wasn't law, and that they could do whatever they wanted.

 

[Darkdale]

I don't believe in hitting, but spanking on the rear end is perfectly reasonable.

 

[michel]

I don't believe in hitting, but spanking on the rear end is perfectly reasonable.

The rear end of what?:biglaugh:

 

[Jaymes]

Spanking is much more effective. It gets the message across, and teaches the kids that this is bad. Missing one minute from watching Barney to go stand in the corner isn't going to do anything.

If you want to argue in terms of what's more effective, you could argue holding a gun to a kid's head is the best way to teach them what to do and not do. Just because it works it doesn't mean it's right.

 

[Darkdale]

I've spent a lot of time around kids and I must say, that children are progressively less disciplined and less responsible. This is going to have increased negative effects on society. Spanking is not the answer... Discipline in, in whatever form is the most productive. I do, however, regret the poor parenting skills so many have developed and how "out of control" children have become. In fact, there seems to be a philosophy going around that children shouldn't be "disciplined" (from what I hear here and there). That, to me, is outrageous.

 

[Jaymes]

I completely agree with you there, Darkdale... I hate it when I see someone with a screaming kid in a supermarket begging their kid to be quiet. It just makes my blood boil! Or asking over and over to do something that should be a given.

 

[Lindsey-Loo]

you could argue holding a gun to a kid's head is the best way to teach them what to do and not do

Or you could argue saying that isn't effective at all. The object is not to get the kids to be terrified of Mom and Dad.

 

[Jaymes]

Arguably spanking does the same thing. As a kid I was more afraid to talk to my parents because I was afraid I'd get hit.

 

[Fire Empire]

The object is not to get the kids to be terrified of Mom and Dad.

Right. So there is no point is using violence since violence might tend to scare kids into doing what they should. It's better policy to rule through intelligence rather than fear.

 

[nutshell]

Spanking doesn't have to be violence. I give my son a little swat on his super padded diaper and he knows that's the signal he's done something wrong and daddy's not happy. Eventually, I quit doing this to my daughter because she started laughing at me because my swats were so wimpy.

 

[jonny]

I was spanked and it took me years to get over some of those "loving" hits. If there is a belt (or anything besides a hand) involved, I'm 100% against it. If the hand causes any pain to the child, I am also 100% against it. If there is any anger or emotion invovled, it is abuse. You shouldn't hit your kids butts any harder than you would pat their heads for doing something good.

I will never spank my kids. Talk to me in 20 or so years and I'll let you know how they turn out. I have a feeling that they'll be just fine.

 

[Fire Empire]

Spanking doesn't have to be violence. I give my son a little swat on his super padded diaper and he knows that's the signal he's done something wrong and daddy's not happy. Eventually, I quit doing this to my daughter because she started laughing at me because my swats were so wimpy.

No spanking doesn't have to be violence ( for another example of this, check out some S&M clubs if you're ever in Hollywood). But if it doesn't cause pain, and you're using it as a signal that "daddy'd not happy" it seems superfluous anyway. Raising your voice would be just as adequate a signal.

 

[nutshell]

No spanking doesn't have to be violence ( for another example of this, check out some S&M clubs if you're ever in Hollywood). But if it doesn't cause pain, and you're using it as a signal that "daddy'd not happy" it seems superfluous anyway. Raising your voice would be just as adequate a signal.

If you're worried about physical effects of spanking why aren't you worried about the mental effects or raising your voice?

 

[Aqualung]

If you're worried about physical effects of spanking why aren't you worried about the mental effects or raising your voice?

Exactly. ONce again it's a matter of how not what. I don't know about how Jensa's family was, but if I were afraid to even open my mouth, I would think of that as abuse, not just discipline. If I were afraid to even open my mouth for fear of gettin cussed at, it would be abuse.

 

[Fire Empire]

If you're worried about physical effects of spanking why aren't you worried about the mental effects or raising your voice?

Raising your voice commands respect without showing your kid that you might physically hurt him/her. You don't need to be YELLING at them when you raise your voice--just be stearn.

Now, if you start verbally assaulting the child, that's a different story, and that's when you'll get the "mental effects" you're talking about.

 

[Uncertaindrummer]

I think only in the most extreme cases would I hit my child. And even then I would probably regret it later. We won't make the world less violent by hitting kids.

 

[Uncertaindrummer]

I was spanked and it took me years to get over some of those "loving" hits. If there is a belt (or anything besides a hand) involved, I'm 100% against it. If the hand causes any pain to the child, I am also 100% against it. If there is any anger or emotion invovled, it is abuse. You shouldn't hit your kids butts any harder than you would pat their heads for doing something good.

I will never spank my kids. Talk to me in 20 or so years and I'll let you know how they turn out. I have a feeling that they'll be just fine.

Amen. Absolutely.

 

[Aqualung]

Exactly. ONce again it's a matter of how not what. I don't know about how Jensa's family was, but if I were afraid to even open my mouth, I would think of that as abuse, not just discipline. If I were afraid to even open my mouth for fear of gettin cussed at, it would be abuse.

If, on the other hand, you were afraid to, say, skip school because you were afraid of getting hit (or of getting timeout) then it's discipline.