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Featured Is it okay I want to be with my father

Discussion in 'Interfaith Discussion' started by Octogan, Jul 31, 2017.

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  1. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    My mother came out last year and said she'd been having an affair. She got full custody even though she knows I want to stay with my father and that I think it's a sin. She wont let me got bible study anymore because of it. I also don't like her girlfriend. She gets really aggressive when I oppose her beliefs.

    I just want to be with my father. He's always been there more, even when I had my period.
     
  2. Rival

    Rival Noahide
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    It's fine that you want to remain with your dad.
     
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  3. Nakosis

    Nakosis crystal soldier
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    Unfortunately, until you're 18, adults have legal control over your life. For better or worse.

    You'll be 18 sooner than you think and be able to choose for yourself. The only other course of action is to legally emancipate from your parents.

    Emancipation of minors - Wikipedia

    You're going to need a lawyer for that so need money or find one willing to take on your case for free. Most lawyers will at least provide an initial consultation for free.
     
  4. bobhikes

    bobhikes Nowoligist
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    Its OK to want to be with your father but until your 18 it is up to the courts to decide what is best. They take into consideration what you want but what the parents can provide as well. Without knowing all the details as to what your parents can provide there is no way for anyone to determine the best for you.
     
  5. Rival

    Rival Noahide
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    When I was 12 I was in court against my step-father and my mother had also been (temporarily) deemed unfit to parent (she was and is). I was in foster care for a day. I was given a solicitor for free by the state, if I recall correctly (I certainly had one) and a child guardian, as well as numerous social workers. If any of these people are in your life, tell them.
     
  6. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

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    Love knows no bounds. Don't let anyone dictate to who you should care about.

    Im assuming there is visitation rights. Hopefully both your parents care enough to accommodate your concerns.
     
  7. DavidFirth

    DavidFirth Well-Known Member

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    I don't know about the laws in your state but in Georgia when a child is 14 they can choose and the judge will usually go along with the child's decision. I took my son from my ex when he turned 14 because he wanted to live with me.

    But she didn't have full custody. Why doesn't your dad have joint custody?
     
  8. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    I live in a state with draconian laws. Women are heavily favored in most custody disputes. If you check this is common throughout the us.
     
  9. DavidFirth

    DavidFirth Well-Known Member

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    Are you old enough to be represented by a lawyer? You could go to the courthouse and ask the courts if there is anything you can do.
     
  10. Ingledsva

    Ingledsva HEATHEN ALASKAN

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    Women being favored is changing fast, - and would not be a reason for single custody.

    Your father would have to be deemed unfit to raise you for some reason.

    Perhaps it is time to ask mom why he doesn't have shared custody, - AND LISTEN!

    *
     
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  11. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    I'm 13. I know my father has done nothing.
     
  12. Ingledsva

    Ingledsva HEATHEN ALASKAN

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    If you are really thirteen, and the court has granted sole custody to your mother, - then something is wrong on the dad side.

    Courts normally give joint custody unless one side has something determined to be detrimental to the children.

    They may have been trying to keep problems away from you.

    Ask her. And listen.

    *
     
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  13. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    The only thing wrong is my mother accused my father of forcing the idea that her lifestyle is a sin on me.
     
  14. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    If your mom was given full custody it is very unlikely your father has done nothing.
     
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  15. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    You people just want me to accept that its okay how horrible my mom is just because she's a lesbian.
     
  16. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein ᛘᛁᛏᚾᛁᚴᚼᛏ᛫ᛋᚢᚾ
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    @Octogan , we can't really help much with your situation. We are not legal authorities. We also don't know you or your family situation.

    I'm sorry you come from a broken home. I do, too. My dad ran off when I was very young and my mom divorced him. Life often isn't what we want it to be. However, we must accept how our lives presently are. You have to accept that your mom is a lesbian. That's just reality. You may not like it or agree with it, but family is like that. They're not always going to turn out how you want them to.

    I suggest that you work on mending your relationship with your mother and her partner. Make compromises and learn to live together. Wanting to drop her and presumably cut her out of your life to live in a religious bubble with your father is not the answer. I suggest family counseling.
     
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  17. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    No, we're saying there is probably a reason your father doesn't have joint-custody or even supervised visitation. Personal feelings aside, some of us are speaking from knowledge and experience. Parents do not lose out on custody unless there is a reason. It isn't something that just happens.
    And you mother isn't horribly because she's a lesbian. If she were beating you, emotionally abusing you, or neglecting you, then she would be horrible. But you have not indicated she is doing any of these things.
    You may not want to face it, but chances are very good you don't know the entire story. You may want the entire story if you can't provide a reason as to why your parents don't have joint custody before deciding you want to live with your father. I won't speculate the reasons why he doesn't have custody, but one is most surely there.
     
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  18. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    She was neglectful during her entire affair! How else do you explain her not being there during my first period!?
     
  19. Octogan

    Octogan Member

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    Explain the logic of making nice with the woman my mother cheated on my father with.
     
  20. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein ᛘᛁᛏᚾᛁᚴᚼᛏ᛫ᛋᚢᚾ
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    You have to live with her.
     
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