Is Abstinence From Sex Before Marriage Really Best?

[Hema]

But this only happens to a handful of people. These people have a psycological problem. That is not porn's fault.

Bundy went out and did those things himself. Porn did not put a gun to his head.

I wouldn't say that it's only a handful of people. As I indicated in my previous post:
"The Michigan State Police department found that pornography is used or imitated in 41 percent of the sex crimes they have investigated."

I'm sure people who have commited murders by stabbing people to death had kitchen knives. I guess kitchen knives are bad too.

If they are used as weapons they are bad. However, a kitchen knife in itself does not serve as a stimuli for murder.

 

[Ciscokid]

Is abstinence from sex before marriage really best? It seems to me there can be many benefits to sex, although we as a society tend to focus only on the negatives for the most part. Has this tendency to focus only on the negatives given us a false sense that the posititves are not that important? For instance: sex can and often does produce emotional healing. Does our tendency to discount such posititive aspects of sexuality lead us to adopt superficial notions such that abstinence is always the best course of action? Or, is it really true that abstinence is always the best course of action? What do you think?

If reproduction is the only thing important than sex is ok whenever the persons body is ready. But if a relationship is desired then I think sex is best to hold off until the couple is at least slightly mature and that the two have had some time to let their feelings settle. Sex can give one a false sense of love, things can go south in a hurry after that if the foundation isn't laid...no pun intended.

 

[Mister_T]

I wouldn't say that it's only a handful of people. As I indicated in my previous post:
"The Michigan State Police department found that pornography is used or imitated in 41 percent of the sex crimes they have investigated."

I would. 41 percent of sex crimes is not 41 percent of the populaton. It's not even half of the sex crimes. What about people who committed sex crimes before there was pictures and television? What about primitive cultures deep in the jungles of our world today, that rape their women and children? What porn were they influenced by?

Millions if not billions of people own/watch porn and are not doing such things.

If they are used as weapons they are bad. However, a kitchen knife in itself does not serve as a stimuli for murder.

And porn by itself does not serve as a stimuli for sex offenders. They would probably do it without porn. 59 percent of those people in that study did.

 

[Hema]

I would. 41 percent of sex crimes is not 41 percent of the populaton. It's not even half of the sex crimes. What about people who committed sex crimes before there was pictures and television? What about primitive cultures deep in the jungles of our world today, that rape their women and children? What porn were they influenced by?

Millions if not billions of people own/watch porn and are not doing such things..

It might not be half but it is a significant contributer. I'm not saying that porn is the only contributor to rape, just that it is a significant contributer.

And porn by itself does not serve as a stimuli for sex offenders. They would probably do it without porn. 59 percent of those people in that study did.

Yes, they would probably do it without porn but 41% - a significant amount, did use it as a stimuli. Again, it is not the only stimuli and I know that not everyone who looks at porn will be inclined to rape, but of those who do commit rape, porn is a significant contributer.

 

[Mister_T]

It might not be half but it is a significant contributer. I'm not saying that porn is the only contributor to rape, just that it is a significant contributer.



Yes, they would probably do it without porn but 41% - a significant amount, did use it as a stimuli. Again, it is not the only stimuli and I know that not everyone who looks at porn will be inclined to rape, but of those who do commit rape, porn is a significant contributer.

Again I'll go back to the kitchen knife: If 41 percent of people who stabbed people to death owned kitchen knives and got some sort of sick pleasure out of them, does that make the kitchen knife significant?

I'd say no.

 

[SoyLeche]

Again I'll go back to the kitchen knife: If 41 percent of people who stabbed people to death owned kitchen knives and got some sort of sick pleasure out of them, does that make the kitchen knife significant?

I'd say no.

No, but it might call for educating the population about the possible dangers of kitchen knives. And it might indicate that there may be some connection between kitchen knives and psychotic behavior that needs to be studied.

 

[Scarlett Wampus]

I wouldn't say that it's only a handful of people. As I indicated in my previous post:
"The Michigan State Police department found that pornography is used or imitated in 41 percent of the sex crimes they have investigated."

That's not a causal link. Its circumstantial and as such says nothing about the influence of pornography on people as a whole.

Decent sex education, like the Netherlands have, would go far in reducing the potential problems ordinary people experience with pornography imo.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Is there a medal for debating six people at once? If there is, I deserve it.

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt. :beach:

 

[SoyLeche]

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt. :beach:

Yeah, but that doesn't count because all 6 were all named "angellous_evangellous"

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Yeah, but that doesn't count because all 6 were all named "angellous_evangellous"

What am I, chopped liver?!

Angellous gives me the attention that I deserve, and so should everyone else.

EDIT: By the way, I only have one other personality. I was thinking about developing a third one, but I am colorblind and can't keep track of more than one color. If I have more than one personality posting in the same color, that would just be confusing. And if another personality posts in a color other than blue, I would not be able to see it.

 

[Hema]

That's not a causal link. Its circumstantial and as such says nothing about the influence of pornography on people as a whole.

If we are analyzing patients who are diabetic we will look at factors that caused them to become diabetic eg. lifestyle, diet etc., the rest of the population does not have to be taken into account because similar factors would have to be found among the diabetic patients themselves.

 

[Mister_T]

No, but it might call for educating the population about the possible dangers of kitchen knives. And it might indicate that there may be some connection between kitchen knives and psychotic behavior that needs to be studied.

Well that is where we would have to respectfully disagree. I don't believe the knife (or porn) plays any significant role or connection in peoples behaviors. Anything can set a person off.

 

[Mister_T]

Been there. Done that. Got the T-shirt. :beach:

You guys made my head hurt.

Hulk no like thinking so much. :no:

 

[MysticSang'ha]

If we are analyzing patients who are diabetic we will look at factors that caused them to become diabetic eg. lifestyle, diet etc., the rest of the population does not have to be taken into account because similar factors would have to be found among the diabetic patients themselves.

Soooooooo.............we should do away with porn completely? Like we should do away with sugar all together?

I'm really not following.




Peace,
Mystic

 

[SoyLeche]

Well that is where we would have to respectfully disagree. I don't believe the knife (or porn) plays any significant role or connection in peoples behaviors. Anything can set a person off.

Which may in fact be the case. If you are wrong, though - in your world nothing would get done to fix the problem.

Anyway - none of this has anything to do with the point I was going for in the first place - that porn contributes to "sexual incompatability" and to a person being unsatisfied with what their partner is willing to offer them in bed.

I still stand by my stance that avoiding porn will do more to help you be "sexually compatible" with your partner than test driving them will.

 

[SoyLeche]

Soooooooo.............we should do away with porn completely? Like we should do away with sugar all together?

I'm really not following.




Peace,
Mystic

I won't try and say this is Hema's point - but I see it as being that we need to educate people about the possible connection. It isn't necessary to outlaw sugar, but people with diabetes need to know how sugar can effect them, and the general population needs to know that if they overindulge in sugar they may develop diabetes later in life. Ignoring the connection altogether doesn't help anyone.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

That's not a causal link. Its circumstantial and as such says nothing about the influence of pornography on people as a whole.

Decent sex education, like the Netherlands have, would go far in reducing the potential problems ordinary people experience with pornography imo.

Yeah. What he said.

On the whole, what bugs me more than anything is when we categorize aspects of our sexual nature - the entirety of our sexual nature - into the good/bad dualities, or how every little sexual nuance is deemed proper or improper. Of course, sex is like fire, so it's the responsible person who is educated about sex that can handle experimentation without "burning the house down." But, even with or without sex education, why moralize so much of it? Isn't there any room for a grey area here?

And fwiw, a LAAAARRRRRGGGGGGE grey area?




Peace,
Mystic

 

[Mister_T]

Which may in fact be the case. If you are wrong, though - in your world nothing would get done to fix the problem

I'm not sure how you came to such a conclusion. I'm also not sure if I should take that personally.

Anyway - none of this has anything to do with the point I was going for in the first place - that porn contributes to "sexual incompatability" and to a person being unsatisfied with what their partner is willing to offer them in bed. I still stand by my stance that avoiding porn will do more to help you be "sexually compatible" with your partner than test driving them will.

You seem to be generalizing people who watch porn. If that is not your cup of tea and you feel it would have a negative impact on your relationship, by all means don't do it. But you really can't say that it's bad for everyone because it's not. Can you provide proof that porn contributes to sexual incompatibility?

 

[SoyLeche]

I'm not sure how you came to such a conclusion. I'm also not sure if I should take that personally.

I don't see why you should take it personally It wasn't meant to be personal

You seem to be generalizing people who watch porn. If that is not your cup of tea and you feel it would have a negative impact on your relationship, by all means don't do it. But you really can't say that it's bad for everyone because it's not. Can you provide proof that porn contributes to sexual incompatibility?

Yes, I am generalizing. And, no, I have not proof (especially since, using my working definition of pornography - there is not a sample of people who have not been exposed to it).

I also don't recall saying that it is "bad" - I said it "contributes to sexual incompatability". While I do, in fact, believe it is "bad" - that has little to do with this debate.

 

[Hema]

I won't try and say this is Hema's point - but I see it as being that we need to educate people about the possible connection. It isn't necessary to outlaw sugar, but people with diabetes need to know how sugar can effect them, and the general population needs to know that if they overindulge in sugar they may develop diabetes later in life. Ignoring the connection altogether doesn't help anyone.

True that! :yes: Thanks SoyLeche.