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I'm pretty sure God is telling me to tell my sister...

Milton Platt

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated

Don't see what the big deal is. Move on. How do you know it is a god talking to you????????
 

Wirey

Fartist
Drop it. It's in the past and thinking about it will just make it worse.

How's you sister doin', anyway?
 

Brickjectivity

Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
Staff member
Premium Member
No. No to posting that in this forum and no to asking us.

As a stranger I say do not tell unless you first consult your psychiatrist and your sister's psychiatrist. You may also want to consult a lawyer first. Consult anybody but us.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
If you believe in god then its between you and god, why tell her when all it will do is cause problems, if you truly believe god forgives then do and move on, unless of course you don't.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I feel like it's somehow my fault
It's not your fault. Her dating women has no bearing on your relationship towards her (and most certainly not a fault), and there are many reasons to explain smoking again (seems she's in a stressful place, from what you've explained). Really, you should get advice from a therapist, someone trained and licensed to help with such sensitive and delicate issues. You're both still young, and honestly and bluntly a confession may get it off your chest, but it would cause irreparable damage to your family relations, with all members and not just your sister. You also need to consider what this would do to your sister, which is likely devastate her and perhaps even cause her to completely shut your out of her life. You were even younger then, aren't the same as you were then, and you won't be the same a few years from now.
Satre also gave good advice to consider. Write your confession down, and seal it away.
And I cannot stress and emphasis getting professional help enough. Not just a priest/pastor either, because there may even be potential legal issues over this. And their is also the benefit that psychologists and therapists are legally bound and obligated to uphold patient confidentiality, unlike a priest/pastor. You definitely do not want to risk this becoming church gossip, or any sort of gossip.
 

Brickjectivity

Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
Staff member
Premium Member
If you believe in god then its between you and god, why tell her when all it will do is cause problems, if you truly believe god forgives then do and move on, unless of course you don't.
Between you and me, psychoslice, I agree. I think they should not tell her. Nor do I like this Plan and Purpose seminar business. Lets see I believe that either Miles Monroe ripped off the idea from Rick Warren or that Rick Warren ripped it off from Miles Monroe -- probably the second one. Basically its a money making gig, where somebody does a seminar on how everyone ought to wait for God to supernaturally reveal their personal life purpose. Its quite harmful to the congregations of people. People should plan to do something whether God speaks to us or not. You can turn a running horse better than you can start one that is sitting still. And you should most definitely church hop.
 

columbus

yawn <ignore> yawn
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated
I cannot possibly give you advice because I don't know enough.
But I can make an observation. You can always tell her later, but you can never untell her.
Good luck.
Tom
 

Brickjectivity

Turned to Stone. Now I stretch daily.
Staff member
Premium Member
I recall at the same time that the whole "Purpose Driven Life" gig was getting going there was another horrible movement started by the book I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Fervently religious young people just couldn't win for losing with all this nonsense.

#1 Church hopping is good not bad, and ministers say otherwise to the detriment of their congregations which they regard as their own turf if not in words then certainly in their actions and preachings. Its crazy, because generations of children now inherit ministry positions and churches. I've seen this happen. They say church hopping is bad, but what they mean is "You belong to me."

Secondly. Dating is GOOD. Its almost as good for you as church hopping, and that means its good for the body of Christ, too. Date and church hop, and get educated and seek a career. If God wants to tell you something, you will definitely hear it.
 

sun rise

The world is on fire
Premium Member
I'm not wise enough to advise you nor do I know your sister to understand the ramifications. I will suggest you find a psychologist or counselor to work through this.
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
I would say DO NOT MENTION IT if she has no idea. WHY? You are not even the same person quite likely. Just forgive yourself, sin no more, and move the heck on!
I would agree with this. I fed my sisters dog some pills while I was on drugs and it killed the dog. This was years ago when I was a total druggy without any faith.

I'm a different person now and it just wont do any good to open an old wound. I did tell my mom about it and she said "Don't tell your sister. She'll kill you"!

I'm suffering for my sins. I'm growing up. I've tried to make amends where possible, but sometimes amends can't be made. Forgive yourself and don't live in the past.
 

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
These last 2 months we've been arguing a lot but prior to that we're really close. I'd do anything for her and vice versa which is why i don't wanna risk it but this feeling in the pit of my stomach is telling me to.
Maybe you could mention the subject matter in the abstract to learn how difficult it is to her to deal with?
 

idav

Being
Premium Member
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated
It's easier seeing the Bible as more of a guideline because morals can't be black and white, there are always things to consider. In the end only you and god know your heart. It sounded like your considering how lack of knowledge can affect her, any possible harm it may cause from lack of knowing should be considered.

Edit: I'm no expert though I encourage asking other more professional types like many mentioned
 

BSM1

What? Me worry?
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated

No He/She/It isn't. Forgive yourself and move on.
 

Mister Emu

Emu Extraordinaire
Staff member
Premium Member
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated
There is some missing information that would determine my course of advice. The first is fairly simple, was it long term? The second is more direct, did you do it for your own sexual gratification? The third is to find out about the possibility of your sister blaming your father for your own actions.

No matter any of the answers, I recommend going to a Catholic Priest for confession. That isn't just because I am Catholic either; Catholic priests have the highest demand for confidentiality you can find, a Priest is the least like person to disclose any information you tell him in confession.

If you answer yes to the first two, I would recommend seeking a professional counselor.

For the third, if it appears that she has indeed remembered your molestation as performed by your father you'll have to consider whether it is acceptable for your sister to wrongly believe your father abused her when you could have the chance to resolve that. I can't demand you tell someone your sins, but I think we both know what is justice in that situation.
 

omega2xx

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated

If you only did it once and do not have the same feeling abut touching girls, I would tell God. He will forgive you and that will be the end of it. If you still have such feeling, tell your parents and let them decide if your sister needs to know.
 

RESOLUTION

Active Member
Hello everyone I'm new here. I've. Been seeking God intensely for about 5 months now. I feel closer to god than ever but I have trouble hearing his voice. In my church the Pastor is preaching about plan and purpose and how we have to do things we don't want to because god is in control. I feel the a tugging in my gut to tell my sister that when we were younger I touched her in her sleep. I feel terrible about it and the thought of it makes me sick to my stomach. This was over 10 years ago maybe even 12. I want to move forward but I'm not sure if I can bring myself to tell her. Any advice or help would be greatly appreciated


What would be the point? To clear your conscience and make her a nervous wreck?
You were a child and it is obvious there was nothing but curiosity in your actions. Time to forget and move on and stop hanging onto something you know was not right but did.

I would not speak to your pastor only God. You have confessed and now that should be the end. Forget all about it and never, ever repeat any such action again.
You will find that the only person worried was you. You were a child and you never forgave yourself must have been a heavy burden but move on and forgive yourself.
Just be thankful she never knew and make sure you never do anything again which is not morally right or acceptable to another person.
 
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