I'm confused

[Trackdayguy]

Several of the world religions condemn sex outside marriage, surely this is sort sighted in light of our genetic code to recreate.

Let's say that all the people born 1 minute after you read this decided that marriage is not for them and knowing that their religion forbids sex outside marriage understand that sex, one of lives great pleasures is not on the menu for them. Surely this would bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

Why is it that religion is so obsessed with sex, unless of course sex is seen as bad. Lets remember that our DNA motivates us to have an active interest in sex, yet religion teaches the that sex should only take place in the confines of marriage, which is a social construct.

 

[74x12]

Several of the world religions condemn sex outside marriage, surely this is sort sighted in light of our genetic code to recreate.

Let's say that all the people born 1 minute after you read this decided that marriage is not for them and knowing that their religion forbids sex outside marriage understand that sex, one of lives great pleasures is not on the menu for them. Surely this would bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

Why is it that religion is so obsessed with sex, unless of course sex is seen as bad. Lets remember that our DNA motivates us to have an active interest in sex, yet religion teaches the that sex should only take place in the confines of marriage, which is a social construct.

Actually if you look at the stats you will likely find that secular people have less children on average than religious people.

 

[Trackdayguy]

Actually if you look at the stats you will likely find that secular people have less children on average than religious people.

and that means ???

 

[74x12]

and that means ???

That religion isn't likely to cause decreased birth rates. Remember that secular people most often pursue sex as simple pleasure; whereas a religious person is more likely to be looking to procreate.

 

[lostwanderingsoul]

Children in single parent families have more problems than families with two married parents.

 

[Trackdayguy]

That religion isn't likely to cause decreased birth rates. Remember that secular people most often pursue sex as simple pleasure; whereas a religious person is more likely to be looking to procreate.

Like most people I enjoy pleasure. You cant be serious !!!

 

[Trackdayguy]

Children in single parent families have more problems than families with two married parents.

Nonsense. I have spent over 30 years as a relational coach and that just isn't true. Children grow up more rounded and secure when they are socialized in the context of a nurturing family regardless of whether or not the couple are the monogamous or Poly, or same sex.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Several of the world religions condemn sex outside marriage, surely this is sort sighted in light of our genetic code to recreate.

Let's say that all the people born 1 minute after you read this decided that marriage is not for them and knowing that their religion forbids sex outside marriage understand that sex, one of lives great pleasures is not on the menu for them. Surely this would bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

Why is it that religion is so obsessed with sex, unless of course sex is seen as bad. Lets remember that our DNA motivates us to have an active interest in sex, yet religion teaches the that sex should only take place in the confines of marriage, which is a social construct.

Shrugs. Many religions see sex, if used inappropriately, a distraction or magnet that pulls us away from the truth of life and experience of the real world. Lust is a huge topic in all of history that brings people to kill, abuse, etc. Its seen as an uncontrollable experience and feeling.

Marriage is a cultural thing. The definition depends on the culture and religion you believe in. So far I know, in The Dharma, you dont need to be married to be boyfriend and girlfriend. But as for Indian culture, Im not sure. Its not a part of the religion (its not a sacrament).

The idea of lust and sex as bad isnt universal. Personally, I see it misattributed because of one's bias and not facts. No one owns the word marriage. One persons tomaato is another persons tomato.

 

[Estro Felino]

I don't think, as a Christian, that an open relationship is something unchristian...since sex is never sinful...if it's the authentic expression of your will.

Nevertheless...you cannot deny that there is no romance in such an attitude.

In English there is not a Latin word I like: pudor.

 

[Trackdayguy]

Does there need to be romance?

 

[lewisnotmiller]

That religion isn't likely to cause decreased birth rates. Remember that secular people most often pursue sex as simple pleasure; whereas a religious person is more likely to be looking to procreate.

That's one interpretation....

However, there has been research done into this, so if we really want to cast motherhood statements across diverse populations, we can at least wave SOME level of investigation at it.

Religiosity and Fertility in the United States: The Role of Fertility Intentions

When asked about whether the trials of parenthood were worth it, there was little difference between religious and non-religious women.

However, when asked if
'It is much better for everyone if the man earns the main living and the woman takes care of the home and family.' there was a substantial difference (well over twice as high a percentage of religious women agreed)

One possible takeaway from this is that religious women are more likely to see their role as homemaker and mother. This would appear to fit with (for example) Muslim birthrates outstripping other religions. Please note here, I am not saying all religious women think this way, and indeed pagan and Buddhist women in the US have low rates of birth. But there are enough Christian, Hindu and Muslim women to skew overall religious figures completely anyway.

I think seeing it as 'non-religious women see sex for pleasure and religious women see sex as procreation' is pretty hard to argue across a diverse population without evidence.

 

[Axe Elf]

I think you might have it somewhat backwards. I'm not all that familiar with the regulations about marriage in other religions, but in Xianity, it's not so much about having sex "outside" of marriage--because sex itself creates a marriage relationship. ("Or do you not know and realize that when a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? The two, it is written, shall become one flesh." --1 Corinthians 6:16, Amplified Bible) You can't really have "pre-marital sex," because once you have sex, you're married.

It's more about being careful who you marry by having sex with them, and how you treat your wives once you have married them in that way.

Of course, if you try to marry (have sex with) a woman who is already married, then you're committing adultery, and if you don't treat your wives like a husband should once you have married (had sex with) them, then you are probably just fornicating (the Xian f-word).

 

[Kapalika]

Nonsense. I have spent over 30 years as a relational coach and that just isn't true. Children grow up more rounded and secure when they are socialized in the context of a nurturing family regardless of whether or not the couple are the monogamous or Poly, or same sex.

To some degree, being a single parent is harder to balance child caring and work. In a lot of situations there is only one parent because something went wrong in the relationship... and if one parent leaves their kid's life that can be a sign of a deeper problem with the parent's ability to function.

Before you jump over me note I said "a lot" and "can". Not "all" or "always". I'm also speaking from experience and what I've seen. If you are a relationship coach your sample set is biased for people willing to go to a relation coach to get better at it!

 

[Altfish]

Actually if you look at the stats you will likely find that secular people have less children on average than religious people.

Mainly because they understand family planning and don't have any hang-ups about contraception. They also encourage their children to have sex education.

 

[david-david]

Several of the world religions condemn sex outside marriage, surely this is sort sighted in light of our genetic code to recreate.

Let's say that all the people born 1 minute after you read this decided that marriage is not for them and knowing that their religion forbids sex outside marriage understand that sex, one of lives great pleasures is not on the menu for them. Surely this would bring about the end of civilization as we know it.

Why is it that religion is so obsessed with sex, unless of course sex is seen as bad. Lets remember that our DNA motivates us to have an active interest in sex, yet religion teaches the that sex should only take place in the confines of marriage, which is a social construct.

Is the other person you are engaging in 'sexual' intercourse with the type you can take home to meet 'mom and dad'? This could also play a role on the personal 'guilt' levels.


Would 'YOU' be the type they would be able to take home to meet 'mom and dad'?

 

[HonestJoe]

Why is it that religion is so obsessed with sex, unless of course sex is seen as bad. Lets remember that our DNA motivates us to have an active interest in sex, yet religion teaches the that sex should only take place in the confines of marriage, which is a social construct.

I think that is the key, it isn’t about sex per-se, it’s about social structure. I also don’t think it’s specifically about religion either, it’s just the religion is one of the main tools used to influence and control people within communities and societies.

In simple terms, it would be about wanting to prevent “our” women leaving to join other “tribes” (which could mean anything from a single extended family to an entire perceived racial group), thus weakening our own. There’s a reason that women having sex outside marriage has generally been looked down upon much more strongly, with young men “sowing wild oats” ignored or even permitted. This will have developed along with inheritance rules, with a desire to ensure that heirs remain clearly part of our tribe, keeping the inherited resources and power within.

The underlying concepts here will predate any modern religions so it’ll be less about religious driving behaviour and more our religions being shaped by our existing social structures.

 

[Trackdayguy]

Is the other person you are engaging in 'sexual' intercourse with the type you can take home to meet 'mom and dad'? This could also play a role on the personal 'guilt' levels.


Would 'YOU' be the type they would be able to take home to meet 'mom and dad'?

Really

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Nonsense. I have spent over 30 years as a relational coach and that just isn't true. Children grow up more rounded and secure when they are socialized in the context of a nurturing family regardless of whether or not the couple are the monogamous or Poly, or same sex.

They said "single parent", not any of those examples you mentioned. Children in single parent households are usually worse off. They're usually raised by single mothers because the dad is a deadbeat.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

It's because religions are tools for supporting social stability and marriage is an important social institution. I'm not sure what's difficult to understand about that.

 

[LuisDantas]

I just don't know what to think of the OP.

On the one hand, it is rather self-evident that breeding alone is not particularly desirable.

On the other hand, of course religion will have a (genuine) interest in families and marriages. It is not always wise or well implemented, but it is genuine in its origin.