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I'm 29 and don't want to live past 30

Discussion in 'The Social World' started by ronki23, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Milton Platt

    Milton Platt Well-Known Member
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    I am familiar with both professions. I did not suggest he not see a psychologist. I suggested he not stop seeing his current doctors on your advice.
     
  2. Samana Johann

    Samana Johann Restricted by request

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    Here two essays, talks, which might be of use for householder @ronki23 and who might be interested:

    Seeds of Becoming

    The Healing Power of the Precepts

    and a boxer story under real warriors: The Boxer

    Althought very successful by my self, in young years, my person was wise enough to see that (such) sports are not really good for ones own and others welfare, at least winner cause suffering for many others.

    May householder go after wise choices and may he give causes for his longlife, beauty (honor), happiness and strengh and beyond.


    A man may conquer a million men in battle, but one who conquers himself is, indeed, the greatest of conquerors.
    Story to Dhp 102 & 103
     
    #22 Samana Johann, Jun 20, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 20, 2019
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  3. Shadow Wolf

    Shadow Wolf Crazy Diamond

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    He didnt tell him to quit, but rather instead of continually seek a psychiatrist to seek instead a psychologist to help with coping skills, etc. The psychologist actually wouldnt do that, but the cognitive therapy is needed along with medications or the medications arent doing much because nothing is really being done to address why medication. I agree with that.
     
  4. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    I'm 30 in June next year- this year I aim to do Berlin, South Korea and Japan (I've been wanting to go since 2016) and next Diwali I'd like to do India. Not sure what there is to live for after India because I haven't got a job, my Aspergers and phobia stop me from getting a girlfriend,etc.
     
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  5. ajay0

    ajay0 Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, martial arts philosophy have a lot of spirituality in it.

    It teaches present moment awareness, sportsmanship, humility, grace in defeat, culture of workmanship and a number of virtues and values, like having clarity of mind, meditation, focus, self-discipline and so on.

    In any dojo, the winner will bow to the loser as respect for the opponent.

    Unfortunately these days, the onus is on teaching the martial arts without the corresponding philosophy , as the latter may be perceived boring or outdated in the modern materialistic world.

    Mental strength and value systems, depend to a large part on one's philosophy of life.
     
  6. ajay0

    ajay0 Well-Known Member

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    @ronki23

    I enjoy your posts and threads, which are insightful, creative and keep the Sikhism forum moving out of slumber.

    I am sorry your martial arts warrior career has not taken off, but am glad that you have been able to make your mark as a writer with your writings.

    As a saying of Prophet Muhammad goes, " The ink of the scholar is holier than the blood of the martyr."

    So well done. If your martial arts career had lifted off, we might not have had you here. Sikhism is a faith for which many martyrs had given up their lives. That you are giving a voice to this great faith is an achievement in itself, if you ask me.

    Also, Sikhism talks about Charhdi Kala, which is aspiring to maintain a state of mental strength and positive mental attitude in all situations and circumstances. ( Hope you can write a thread on this)

    Charhdi Kala - Wikipedia

    This is exactly similar to the sportsmanship spirit, emphasized in sports psychology.

    As a sports adage goes, ' A champion either wins or learns but never loses.'

    Hence, I would exhort you to imbibe the champion mindset and conquer your adversities and goals, or at least do your very best so that you may have no regrets later on.

    "To strive with difficulties, and to conquer them, is the highest human felicity; the next is, to strive, and deserve to conquer. " - Samuel Johnson
     
  7. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    I have a great admiration of Sikhism because Sikhs are warriors. They carry a kirpan and during the First and Second World War they fought for the side of good against the Ottomans and Nazis. I believe they carry a kirpan because all 4 castes of Hinduism became 1 in Sikhi and the kirpan is the warrior aspect? Sikhs don't have a head priest as far as I know so they're all Brahmins? I was told anybody can read the Guru Granth Sahib?

    I want to learn more about Buddhism because of my fascination with martial arts. Did Buddha know any martial arts? I know he was a keen archer
     
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  8. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    What I really enjoy is getting tattoos- I got a tattoo done in memory of Dad shortly after he died then the year after I got one for my Gran. My tattoo artist is a bit of a character; unfortunately I can't get any major tattoos until I've been to Japan as the Japanese don't like tattoos and I'll have to cover them up in the hot springs and bath houses.
     
  9. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    I used to kickbox at a crap club; not only did their 'gym' not have a bench rack or squat rack, the club forced me to do katas and Pointfighting. We did grappling now and again but then we didn't grapple for months on end. I also felt left out as I was never invited to stag parties, weddings,birthdays,etc. I quit once I got my blue belt (halfway to black) and saw how they still put me against beginners in tournaments.
    If I didn't go to University I'd have switched clubs from kickboxing to Ju Jitsu which I actually did but I still kickboxed. The 'rival' kickboxing club took me on and I enjoyed it there more than my first club but they too were crap because they were a Pointfighting club. I didn't realise until University how frivolous forms and katas, and Pointfighting were useless as the University kickboxing club we just did drills, hit pads and sparred. At University I realised how it's hard to apply your throws,chokes and joint locks on a moving opponent; that's why I'm glad I took up judo. I also wrestled but in hindsight I don't think I should have- I should've focused on kickboxing and judo. Maybe I shouldn't have done Ju Jitsu until after my education if at all- should've focused on both kickboxing and judo (I'd have done Ju Jitsu instead of judo if I didn't go to University).

    Which brings me on to my issues at University. My first Uni had a lot of 'coconut' Muslims who would drink and do drugs (and not fast for Ramadan) but they still wouldn't eat pork. The actual practising Muslims from Sha'ria countries would forgive them for that and they'd prioritise friendships with other Muslims instead of me. Whether they were practising or British born secular (who drink and do drugs) they'd be united in their antisemitism and hate for America. What really irritated me was they'd say 9/11 was an inside job instead of condemning Al Qaeda and ISIS. When I went to my second University there were practising Muslims from Shar'ia countries and they too wouldn't include me.

    Nobody from University keeps in touch and I never got a paid job. I graduated 2013
     
  10. PopeADope

    PopeADope Habemus papam

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    I regret having ever lived to see the age of 30.

    Try to avoid painful thoughts. If you're going to think about something, try to only find thoughts which feel good. Try not to focus on your circumstances.

    There were people in death camps who were happy but they would not have had that happiness if they focused on their circumstances.
     
  11. Tony Bristow-Stagg

    Tony Bristow-Stagg Ocean Immersion
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    One has to find happiness within their own selves. That happiness can not be lost, even if the whole world was to arise against you. It can be found in the Love of our One God, in the Message of Baha'u'llah. That message encourages a person to be the best they can be, to build on ones own strengths and interests and to face life full of joy and happiness, no matter what.

    I personally see fighting has no future, it is not a wise choice to keep body and mind in a state of purity. What else are you good at. What else would you like to try? We are capable of many great things if we focus our heart, mind and soul on a goal or goals in life.

    I have found in life that if something is not going as we had hoped, even when we have put all our heart, mind and soul into the goal, then God in His wisdom is showing you there is a better path for us to walk.

    It may be good to meditate and ask for a new path in life to open up.

    No matter what you choose, I wish you all the best and always happy, happy and full of joy.:)

    Regards Tony
     
  12. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    While I've always wanted to go to Germany and Japan, back in 2013 when I was at University I thought I would instead go with my Chinese friends to West USA and Mexico, and with my Guinean Muslim friend to Brazil and / or Mexico.

    I chose Latin America because a lot of my friends from Undergraduate were Spanish speakers (a Portuguese guy, a Spanish guy, a Brazilian guy, a half Mexican guy) so often went out together to nightclubs, trips to Spain,etc. The problem was these Spanish speakers were closer to one another than they were to me and part of the fault lies in commuting to University and having to get home at a reasonable time- only when I FINALLY passed my driving test at the end of year 2 did I go out in year 3 but my Muslim Guinean friend often pulled out of going out as he had irregular working shifts and the Equatorial Guinea friend (who also spoke Spanish) never came out unless that other Guinean guy was coming. Anyway, the Saudi Arabian never came out to nightclubs but had time for the other Muslims. I cut these people out because the Saudi came back to the UK for one day in 2013 and spent the day with the Muslim Guinean and neither had the courtesy to contact me.

    As for West USA (Vegas, Grand Canyon, California) with the Chinese from postgraduate (grad school) it was because they had a lot of spending power and often went out with one another. Our last class was end of June 2013 and I went out to lunch with 3 of them (plus saw another 5) on 2 August 2013 and then from August 4 2013 they all cut me out of their lives. They claimed to be "busy doing the final assignment" but in reality they were travelling around the UK/going to Europe with one another. This tipped me over the edge and gave me depression.

    I actually recovered from my depression in 2016 but then my Dad died December 2017- 7 weeks after being diagnosed with gallbladder cancer.

    So in reality, the trips to Germany; Korea; Japan, and India weren't even on the menu in 2013. I want to go for 3 reasons:

    1. These trips to the East are alternatives to the Americas

    2. I went to India with Dad in 2015 but it was only to Maharastra- we spent most our time in Bombay and the psychiatrist there put me on Stelazine which messed up my concentration

    3. My family treated me like crap in Canada, Virginia and DC last year. They exploited my phobia and made unsubtle comments about my weight/ didn't let me eat what I wanted
     
    #32 ronki23, Aug 4, 2019
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  13. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    Another thing that really frustrates me as a British Indian is that in Britain and Canada the Indians/Pakistanis/Bangladeshis stick with one another and don't intermingle with others or the other extreme- not accepting your culture AT ALL (not as much as the former). Segregation really bugs me, so does self hatred.
     
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  14. Thief

    Thief Rogue Theologian

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    you are way to young to be worrying about dying

    and you set yourself to distraction rather than goals

    I think you are waiting for someone to hand you a life style

    so.....find something you like to do
    go do it
     
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  15. JayaBholenath

    JayaBholenath Resident Nagini

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    Hey there, fellow asperger ;)

    What Thief said is very on point.
    But look up, there are some kinds of behavioral therapy that works very well. It can help you a lot I think, along which seeing a professional to talk to.

    It's not easy living like that. I understand how it feels, trust me. But the sooner you get the help you need, the sooner you can start enjoying your life.

    Cheers ! We can do it, YOU can do it ! 0/

    Aum Namah Shivaya
     
  16. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein ᛘᛁᛏᚾᛁᚴᚼᛏ᛫ᛋᚢᚾ
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    I'm turning 30 next month and I don't care to see it, either.
     
  17. MikeDwight

    MikeDwight Active Member

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    Do all British Indians want to die all the time? I don't want to judge your culture. Maybe you are telling us so you're going to get out of doing something.

    Lucky you, to get any Single advisor not there by appointment, forced meeting, to pounce on you and steal you s%&$.

    Hey you want to travel to places that don't like your politics, don't speak your language, sort of a foisted on the world thing that doesn't fight back, nobody would ever logically travel.
     
  18. ronki23

    ronki23 Well-Known Member

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    What are you on about? I didn't understand what you wrote

    Japan, South Korea and Berlin are INSTEAD of West USA and Mexico or Mexico and Brazil as I wanted to go to the Americas with friends
     
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