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I'm 29 and don't want to live past 30

ronki23

Well-Known Member
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.
 

PureX

Veteran Member
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes: ...
My only suggestion would be to stop going to psychiatrists and try going to a good psychologist. Psychiatrists lean on drugs, and maybe you need some of them. But it sounds to me like you could really use a good psychologist in your corner; someone to help you make better decisions and understand how to function better interacting with other people.
 

David T

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
"I have Asperger's"

No... you do not have aspergers. You are Aspergers. As such its your great strength. It also is your profound weakness. That can destroy you. But it also is capable of great things as well.

I might suggest breathing learning how to stop thinking at times and experience. Trees dont care. Its hard to be like trees. Especially for aspergers. My neurology is synesthesisia. I am that, its not a something i have. We humans are many flavors on a single spectrum.

Find a therapist who is a good listener, rather than constant fixer. If you seek someone out who is trying to fix you run away. You are not broken as much just confused is all.. the intellect is a tricky tricky thing it will spin inward onto itself if left to its own small reality.
 

David T

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
My only suggestion would be to stop going to psychiatrists and try going to a good psychologist. Psychiatrists lean on drugs, and maybe you need some of them. But it sounds to me like you could really use a good psychologist in your corner; someone to help you make better decisions and understand how to function better interacting with other people.
Yes. Thats exaxtly what i was thinking as well. Not only a psycholgist but a listener rather than a fixer.
 

Hockeycowboy

Witness for Jehovah
Premium Member
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.
My 20s were bad, too. But I made a lot of changes in my 30s -- Job, moved to another state, etc. -- and I'm happier now! Like Reverend Bob said, you "learn"...you get smarter, you get wiser. You apply things better.

I know Aspergers can make it hard to make friends, but...try to get some new ones. A different living location will require that!
 

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.
I'm kind of surprised although not overly.

I took American karate like a couple of centuries ago. *Grin*

Long story short I found a lot of the philosophy associated with martial arts stuck. It does makes me ask, "Don't they teach that anymore?
 

ronki23

Well-Known Member
My 20s were bad, too. But I made a lot of changes in my 30s -- Job, moved to another state, etc. -- and I'm happier now! Like Reverend Bob said, you "learn"...you get smarter, you get wiser. You apply things better.

I know Aspergers can make it hard to make friends, but...try to get some new ones. A different living location will require that!
"I have Asperger's"

No... you do not have aspergers. You are Aspergers. As such its your great strength. It also is your profound weakness. That can destroy you. But it also is capable of great things as well.

I might suggest breathing learning how to stop thinking at times and experience. Trees dont care. Its hard to be like trees. Especially for aspergers. My neurology is synesthesisia. I am that, its not a something i have. We humans are many flavors on a single spectrum.

Find a therapist who is a good listener, rather than constant fixer. If you seek someone out who is trying to fix you run away. You are not broken as much just confused is all.. the intellect is a tricky tricky thing it will spin inward onto itself if left to its own small reality.

@ronki23 are you familiar with Temple Grandin and her work? Welcome to Temple Grandin's Official Autism Website Her story is one who succeeded brilliantly because of her autism.

If my Asperger's would've gotten me into a decent University I wouldn't complain but the first Uni local to me had lots of Muslim students; either they were British born who would do drugs and drink alcohol (but still won't eat pork), or they were from Shariah countries and practising. Both were United in their anti Semitism and hatred of America. I could've gotten in to this Uni with crappy grades if I wanted.

I graduated with a 2:2 (55%) so it's not as if my Asperger's benefited me. I went to a somewhat better University for Master's (top 50 UK Business School, top 100 Europe) but i got messed around and depressed. My final grade was a 'B' at 60.7%
 

Nakosis

Non-Binary Physicalist
Premium Member
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.

Didn't really want to live past 17 myself. Life seemed full of sorrow and struggle to me at the time.

I eventually decided to let go of any control over my fate. Decided not to have any expectation of life. Whatever happened, happened. Wherever I ended up would be more a matter of the currents of life than choices I made. Suddenly I felt as if a great weight was lifted from me. I no longer had to prove myself or meet anyone's expectations. I was free to enjoy each moment for what it was and not be disappointed because it wasn't what I thought it ought to be.

Your overweight, meh.. Lot of folks are overweight, they still manage to find ways to have fun. You are who you are. You got to make peace with that and not want to be someone you are not. Some folks are going to like you some won't. Not really your problem.

This is your life, it does you no good to want it to be something else because it is not. It will only make you unhappy.

There has to be things that you can do that you enjoy. Simple, easy things. Pursue the simple things that bring you joy. Lot of hardship, pain to deal with. The joy I find in simple things makes it worthwhile.
 

Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.
If you don't want your thirties, can I have them?
Those were great years for me. I'd do'm again.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
I have Asperger's so my thoughts may be a bit muddled but here goes:

I've been doing martial arts 2005-2017 and I really enjoyed kickboxing at Undergraduate University (2009-2012); I gave up drinking alcohol to be a better kickboxer. I then joined the rival club because they were really nice people (I still kept kickboxing at University). Not drinking alcohol and commuting to University for Undergraduate (as I was not ready to live on my own) made me feel left out as I never went to parties with University friends. That changed in 2011/12 when I finally passed my driving test and got to go to parties and stay out late. I used to say and do stupid things when drunk and didn't like the feeling afterwards so I quit alcohol in 2010.
I lost many times in kickboxing and judo and vowed to rematch certain people when I was ready but I got kicked out of my kickboxing club 2011 (a club I really enjoyed) for arguing with another club so did judo and wrestling 2011-12. I stopped wrestling 2012 as one of the guys I lost to in kickboxing joined the wrestling.

Then things started spiralling downwards in 2012/13; I went to a different University for my Master's (Grad school where I found a place to stay) people from the University martial arts club mocked me for different reasons: in Ju Jitsu they said karate sucks because I also tried karate and in karate they mocked me for not drinking alcohol.What's worse in Ju Jitsu they were holding the submission past tapping point- they were University clubs so they were full of 20-somethings. I then joined an MMA club run by adults and I was happy until I found people from University were interested so I quit.
I still enjoyed going to parties but whenever I went to a party as postgrad people I knew would never turn up and it was inconvenient going at 11PM at night; there was also an entry fee to the nightclubs.
My Master's degree was 50% Mainland Chinese students as well as 10% Thai, 10% Arab, 10% Nigerian and 10% Indian. A 'nice' mixture of people. I was lucky to have been to China in 2011 so I had something to talk about but then in the final month of Master's my so-called friends cut me out (we had no lectures left) and did things with one another and not me. Their excuse was they were ''busy doing assignments'' in 2013 but they were travelling and having fun with each other. On the bright side I found a wrestling club in the last 4 weeks to train at.

My friends from Undergraduate are too busy and working in London (Europeans) and my Muslim 'friends' hate Israel and think 9/11 was an inside job; they're back in their home countries. One of my 'best friends' who'se a Guinean Muslim met my Saudi Arabian friend (who never kept in contact while I was doing my Master's) the day he was back in the UK and didn't have the courtesy of telling me until he went back to Saudi Arabia. Now the Guinean is busy because he has a baby. He was always a lousy friend. I voted for the UK to leave EU as I feel my European friends don't deserve to live and work in the UK when I can't

I haven't had a paid job for almost 9 years despite having a Master's and I was doing stupid volunteer work at various companies.

I don't do martial arts anymore as people I want to fight keep changing clubs and coming to the clubs I want to train at. I passed my judo and Ju Jitsu gradings (as I don't do kickboxing anymore) in 2017 and finally did MMA until my father died at the age of 69 of gallbladder cancer (I spent the final 3 months of his life with him in the hospital).

I tried going to the gym but apparently I have to relearn squat technique (after doing it for many years) and I don't have the discipline to diet. I swim for 25-35 minutes 3 times a week.

My family exploited my phobias and made unsubtle comments about my weight when I went to my cousin's wedding in Canada last year (2018). I've never had a girlfriend and I can't get married because my phobias were exploited.

I've been to 5 different psychiatrists and am on a cocktail of medications: Prozac, Stelazine (it sucks- couldn't concentrate), Seroquel (made me sleepy and fat), Zyprexa (made me crave sugar and made me fat), Abilify (gave me nightmares). Currently i'm on Zoloft and Solian.

All I want to live for is to go to Germany, South Korea and Japan this year and India next Diwali. I've been wanting to go to Far East since 2016 but it keeps getting pushed back. My 20s have sucked; I want to die after i've been to India for Diwali and I can't do India until i've done Korea and Japan.
Im another who had crappy 20s but is having a remarkably improved 30s. And since its seems youve been staying active your 30s shouldnt really involve much decline in physical ability, if you notice any at all. Truly, 30 isnt old, its not the end of life, and theres no reason to think you dont have plenty of time left to make changes and enjoy them.
 
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Revoltingest

Pragmatic Libertarian
Premium Member
Im another who had crappy 20s but is having a remarkably improved 30s. And since its seems youve been staying active your 30s really involve much decline in physical ability, if you notice at all. Truly, 30 isnt old, its not the end of life, and theres no reason to think you dont have plenty of time left to enjoy it.
Thirty is about when one's brain starts running on all cylinders.
 

Milton Platt

Well-Known Member
My only suggestion would be to stop going to psychiatrists and try going to a good psychologist. Psychiatrists lean on drugs, and maybe you need some of them. But it sounds to me like you could really use a good psychologist in your corner; someone to help you make better decisions and understand how to function better interacting with other people.

Mental illness and depression are complex to diagnose and treat. I don't see any reason he can't see a psychologist, but it is irresponsible to suggest he discontinue his current treatment. He is considering the end of his life right now. Making such a suggestion sight unseen and without expertise in the field is unconscionable.
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber
Mental illness and depression are complex to diagnose and treat. I don't see any reason he can't see a psychologist, but it is irresponsible to suggest he discontinue his current treatment. He is considering the end of his life right now. Making such a suggestion sight unseen and without expertise in the field is unconscionable.
A psychiatrist is an MD, and for the most part prescribing meds is their job. A psychologist, on the other hand, in trained in cognitive behavioral therapy. Without one of those (or a therapist, as is more common) the meds arent going to do much. Often times, the psychologist does an assessment, and based on that a psychiatrist or APN will handle meds while a therapist will help with the cognitive part.
 
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