Can you love anyone else?
Or at least like yourself.
I'm curious. If you're having problems liking/loving others, is the problem not being able to like/love yourself?
Certainly you can still get what you need from others, affection, sympathy but maybe you find yourself not giving to the relationship. Seems the recipe for a bad relationship with both partners taking and not giving.
Why do people find themselves in this kind of relationship?
God = love, according to some. Is this because it is easier to love God than it is yourself?
I can honestly say that I love myself. Not in some conceited way - I know my limits, and I am fine with them - but in a "it is great to be alive, and great to be me" sort of way. I constantly strive to live by my own principles, and I have to wonder if there is anything better than finishing each day knowing that you didn't waiver during the course of the day. Are there some days I do waiver? Sure. But I constantly use my feelings of guilt or disappointment at things to hone in on what it is I can be doing to make sure I don't feel those things again. I also keep close watch on others, and the things they do that I don't like, and I make silent and lasting vows not to do those things when in the company of others. So, in the end, the vast majority of my time ends up being spent on things I am completely fine with having spent my time on. Sacrificing for loved ones, working on a personal project, getting others to think things through to logical conclusions to cut through emotional responses, mindless entertainment, being charitable, helping someone in need (I don't know how many times I have been out walking/driving and come across some person with a conundrum on their hands that I end up helping them through - keys and phone locked in a car, car won't start and they need a push, drunken cohort just kicked them out of the car on a corner and they're in a strange town at midnight - I don't know, I must seem approachable or something)
I often get the feeling that too many people take for granted what it means to be alive. They think all these trappings we've surrounded ourselves with, all the conveniences and pathways to this or that - career, culture, social interactions, ease and expediency - they think those things are "it" - are just "life" as lived by any person. None of that stuff is "life" itself, but the conflation sees them get really disappointed when those things aren't present. As a (probably stupid) example - coffee. Everyone seems to drink it. And when they don't have it, they can feel out of sorts, and do things or say things they might not normally. At least... this is as much as coffee drinkers themselves seem to relay quite often. I don't drink the stuff. It tastes terrible. I don't get it. And so, I haven't worked into my life this thing I might then become dependent on for me to "feel normal." When others talk about how they "can't do without their coffee" - they get blank stares from me. Sure, I've heard the tales... but coffee itself isn't what it is to "feel good," if that makes any sense. Anyway... "coffee" here is basically just a metaphor for anything that can be like that. And my ultimate advice to anyone looking to love themselves more would be to stop assuming that you need and understand "coffee" (again, metaphor).
