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I would blow my heart open.....

gnomon

Well-Known Member
Well let's just keep that a secret shall we.....

A secret that everyone else on this forum knows........god damn me.......but keep it between your ever artistic lips......

By the way......she likes your art as well...........

But yeah........it's something to experience in it's own form at one point in life........

Never is there a truer art to be lost in others..........is there.........no scribble...no drawing,..no painting...no words........

Only expression...........

edit: But yeah.....she likes your art as well. She isn't wanting to come onto these forums though.
 

gnomon

Well-Known Member
I see, I was never on that, I take Seroquel and antidepressants, most other psychotic drugs put too much weight on me, but Seroquel works fine. Do you hear voices, I suppose you are more towards Schizoaffective, which is close to full Schizophrenia ?.

I just stumbled back on this. If you are on Seroquel please take care. I watched a fellow depressive in Ridgeview taken off that very drug, cold, who suffered a seizure after being taken off that drug. Take care with that. Just make sure that if your psych decides to use something else that you are graduated off that drug.

I'm just concerned is all. I've been through a ringer of psych med's and watched a fellow roommate go through that cycle needlessly.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
I just stumbled back on this. If you are on Seroquel please take care. I watched a fellow depressive in Ridgeview taken off that very drug, cold, who suffered a seizure after being taken off that drug. Take care with that. Just make sure that if your psych decides to use something else that you are graduated off that drug.

I'm just concerned is all. I've been through a ringer of psych med's and watched a fellow roommate go through that cycle needlessly.
Hey your back.......yea thanks for the warning, I use to have seizure in my younger days, I really hatted them, I am going pretty goon them, so I will probably be on them the rest of my life, got to die of something I suppose lol.
 

gnomon

Well-Known Member
Hey your back.......yea thanks for the warning, I use to have seizure in my younger days, I really hatted them, I am going pretty goon them, so I will probably be on them the rest of my life, got to die of something I suppose lol.

We'll all die of something........I suppose. When I was in my twenties I didn't think I would live to see thirty. Now I'm 42. Yet there is a certain someone who has helped me to cling on. It's strange how things happen. My drug of reality was Lithium. I remember constant blood tests to make sure my kidney's would not be destroyed to keep me sane. I eventually gave it all up. And given my posting history here on this forum I don't know if it was good or bad. A year ago I was ready to quit my job and actually revisited my concepts of suicide or abandoning society. And my illness has certainly shown through recently in my posts.

Medication is a *****.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
We'll all die of something........I suppose. When I was in my twenties I didn't think I would live to see thirty. Now I'm 42. Yet there is a certain someone who has helped me to cling on. It's strange how things happen. My drug of reality was Lithium. I remember constant blood tests to make sure my kidney's would not be destroyed to keep me sane. I eventually gave it all up. And given my posting history here on this forum I don't know if it was good or bad. A year ago I was ready to quit my job and actually revisited my concepts of suicide or abandoning society. And my illness has certainly shown through recently in my posts.

Medication is a *****.
Yes its a *****, but after stopping it for about eight times now, I realize that I really do need it, I love reading and oil painting and other things, but I need by brain to be working fine to achieve these things. I do sort of like being a bit mad, I'm sort of proud of it lol, yes sounds silly but that how I feel. Yes like you I am familiar with suicidal thoughts and cutting myself, its nice to cut and watch the blood flow down my arm, not too deep though lol.
 

gnomon

Well-Known Member
Yes its a *****, but after stopping it for about eight times now, I realize that I really do need it, I love reading and oil painting and other things, but I need by brain to be working fine to achieve these things. I do sort of like being a bit mad, I'm sort of proud of it lol, yes sounds silly but that how I feel. Yes like you I am familiar with suicidal thoughts and cutting myself, its nice to cut and watch the blood flow down my arm, not too deep though lol.

I know what you are talking about. My girlfriend likes my writings. What she doesn't understand is that all my writings from the past were from my manic phases or from being drunk. I'm trying to get away from both........yet she likes my writings. I wrote the OP of this thread drunk off my ***. She likes it but doesn't understand what I put myself through..........

Yeah. Shouldn't have said that. Either way. Take care of yourself and manage your meds right. I've seen too many people have bad reactions with improper management on Seroquel. You are a talented artist and a good person. I showed your posts to my GF and she really liked them as much as I did. Great work. Keep it up.

I think it's time I retired from these forums after ten years. I get nothing from this for the most part. Other than the rare connection of those who actually understand what it is like to suffer from trying to understand what is around us........but it's too overwhelming for me now.

And to hell with all those who never understood. My heart has been blown apart...........there is nothing left. Good night.
 
Last edited by a moderator:

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Hi Gnomon, thanks, and I have to say please stay here and keep your interesting personality alive, I really like hearing what you have to say, you are a very interesting person, I think most so called moderators don't understand that, but I do, and I'm sure others here do also, goodnight my friend.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
I think some people, no matter their so called position on these forums....like to hate.

How very sad. How very uninformative. How very ........ pathetic.

That's my caution. Warn me.......know what you are talking about. I don't give a damn about forum rules when it comes to speaking from the heart. Choose to damn me for doing such....speak up or **** off.

I've been here ten years. I don't give a **** about the rules anymore. But someone want's to **** on a thread of people sharing heartfelt moments because one of us makes a comment about the mods......what a coward.

Just rule against me and **** off already.

There is no caution among forums. There are only defunct personalities.

I'll state what I said before in the very post that got me warned. Watch the meds you are taking. I think psychoslice is a talented artist. That I feel that after ten years I have found nothing on this forum in regards to understanding of humans suffering from mental disorders......that is a fact. Be careful of your medications.

That this got me a ****ing warning........**** them who give warnings.

What's this forum about, after all, when some dip**** is granted mod power who can dish out bull**** warnings. Especially against those on this forum sharing their experiences of mental illness. Such arbitrary notices would be considered unethical in the business world.

Now warn that. But first, provide some intelligent response for doing so........on a religious forum.............of all things...........
Hey, great to hear you again, sorry you upset, but I do realize why, I don't want to upset the moderators, but I have to say their only human, just like us, sadly when power is given to whoever, it does go to someone's head, the ego takes hold of whatever it can and runs with it, and of course the ego is always right........but you and I know better lol.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Damn, I don't know what to say gnomon, I just think people like you are just too intelligent for a place like this, but most of them are all simular, its all this political correct crap that is taking over much of the planet, I hate places that only work with black and white rules or whatever they want to call them, it takes intelligence to see the between the black and white, to see the grey areas, but that doesn't happen much does it ?. I hope you don't get banned, it always seem that the one who has something intelligent to say, gets banned, as they say, the truth hurts.
 

gnomon

Well-Known Member
Not gone yet. Probably will be soon.

And your praise is too much. I'm not that intelligent. Just too given into my emotions at the moment and pissed off when people play upon them.

That's the end of that.

Now to peruse the forums.
 

psychoslice

Veteran Member
Not gone yet. Probably will be soon.

And your praise is too much. I'm not that intelligent. Just too given into my emotions at the moment and pissed off when people play upon them.

That's the end of that.

Now to peruse the forums.
Ok then, its good to see you again, I thought you were gone.:)
 

Curious George

Veteran Member
We'll all die of something........I suppose. When I was in my twenties I didn't think I would live to see thirty. Now I'm 42. Yet there is a certain someone who has helped me to cling on. It's strange how things happen. My drug of reality was Lithium. I remember constant blood tests to make sure my kidney's would not be destroyed to keep me sane. I eventually gave it all up. And given my posting history here on this forum I don't know if it was good or bad. A year ago I was ready to quit my job and actually revisited my concepts of suicide or abandoning society. And my illness has certainly shown through recently in my posts.

Medication is a *****.
Now this is a good poem.
 
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