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I Wish

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Aha! I provide you with a faked map, get you to land the jet you STOLE FROM ME on my private desert island; I lock you up for fraud; go to jail do not collect...........

I wish Voxton's wish had come true:D
 

Circle_One

Well-Known Member
Voxton's wish comes true, but due to an error made while the thread was ending, the entire RF is sucked into computer oblivion, never to be seen again.

I wish I were a Toys R Us kid.
 

Mike182

Flaming Queer
you become a toys R us kid but the manager decides to turn all toys R us shops into sewage works - as a result of this you must now spend your days searching through manky turd

i wish i had super powers
 

Pah

Uber all member
corrupt_preist said:
i wish i had super powers

You join Religious forums to exercise your super powers but you have to become a moderator first.

I wish my closet would build itself.
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
*Soto Voce* What do the Americans mean by closet ? Dunno - think its what we call a cupboard........ah ok......why didn't he call it that then?...because he's an American...........oh OK, then.....*Soto Voce*

Your closet comes with instructions, and a robot to build it for you - but the robot goes mad whilst building the closet and you end up with a sentry hut on the roof of your house.....

I wish I could loose weight...........:D
 

Lady Crimson

credo quia absurdum
You manage to lose weight with a great diet...but then your diet goes mad and gives you a heart attack.

I want to know how to instantly play the base (bass)! (preferably like Blackie Lawless)
 

The Black Whirlwind

Well-Known Member
you learn how to play the bass like blackie lawless, but then the bass becomes so untuned it sounds like a cello.

i wish i had all the star wars episode 3 toys.
 

Mike182

Flaming Queer
you get all the starwars toys but they come with real light sabres and they cut you up into millions of little pieces, and then put your pieces in a sack and throw it into a lack of burning sulphur

i wish i had a pet dog
 

Circle_One

Well-Known Member
You get a pet dog but it turns out to be of the Cujo-esque variety, thus killing you and anyone coming within attacking distance of it.

I wish I was married to Paul Simonon of The Clash
 

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
I could have introduced you to him, but Lady Crimson's put me in hospital....:(


I wish I could make wishes.:D
 

Voxton

·
A short, yellow bus is approaching, swerving in and out of traffic, horns blearing and headlights flashing. A man with pronounced sideburns is behind the wheel, shouting at people and waving his arms. As it comes to a screeching halt in front of you, you can hear the song 'The Minstrel Boy' being played on the stereo.

A young, Japanese couple walks up next to you, and stops in front of the bus. The woman looks around, confused. She holds her arms out and whispers, "This looks just like Yokohama!"
- "Yokohama?" Her companion looks confused.
- "Hai! If you took away sixty percent of the buildings in Yokohama, it'd look just like this."

You are just about to ask them what they are talking about, when a crowd starts emerging from the bus. A fat white man in a wifebeater shirt, with a bottle of bourbon in one hand, and a gun in the other -- staggers out of the bus, but stumbles on the last step and falls tits over arse onto the sidewalk. His gun goes off.

No one reacts to it, except the Japanese couple.
- "Was that a gun?"
- "Probably. This is America."

The driver scrambles out of the bus, jumps on top of the drunk, and starts wrestling the gun away from him "Give it! Give it! Yo fookin' wanker! Yo'll kill someone, ya will!" Eventually, he gets the gun away from him, and throws it into the shrubberies.

The woman next to you starts jumping up and down, while pointing at the bus driver, while screaming at her boyfriend in Japanese. You can't make out anything she's saying, except "Errevis! Errevis!" and her boyfriend's "Eeee-aah! Charie Parkaru!"

The bus driver notices them, and sighs. "Stop calling me Elvis, okay? I'm not him."
 

Pah

Uber all member
michel said:
I wish I could make wishes.:D
A genie magically appears out of a fish and chips dinner and grease fills the house.

I wish for world peace so those beauty queen contestants would stop saying that.
 
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