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I want to believe in God -- but I can't.

Embrace

Member
The following is not meant to offend anyone's beliefs in any way:

I was raised Christian, and went to church every Sunday. Then I become an adolescent and started to questions things.


It came to the point that the only reason I always answered "Yes, of course" to the "do you believe in God?" question, was because I was terrified of punishment for not believing (whether in the afterlife or my current social standing).


But you must embrace the idea of God, not question or doubt it -- otherwise your faith is false. I grew up saying "yes" immediately to questions of my faith because I thought not hesitating or thinking about it, and answering as if it was a silly question because of course I believe in God, and that meant that I was a firm believer.


I think most Christians are like this, otherwise they wouldn't be so defensive. A firm believer could easily block attacks of their faith by simply not responding, but instead you see pages and pages of arguments of people trying to assure others that the path they chose is the right one, instead you see several thousand years of violence and war because people's faith is so "strong" when it's really the exact opposite. People who try to "save" you, are really just trying to make themselves feel better.


If you love grapefruit, would you be offended if someone else didn't like grapefruit? Would you argue with them? Would you hurt them? Would you kill them? Would you try to convince them that it is delicious when they find it bitter?


This sounds silly because everyone knows that people acquire different tastes for different foods throughout their life.


But when you say you don't have faith in Christ, it's never just an "Oh, ok" response. Every President we've had has been Christian, because if he didn't mention God in at least one of his speeches, he wouldn't get elected. Simply because he didn't like grapefruit.


Simply because the "stout" Christian followers are actually frightened and insecure people -- and who wouldn't be? When I was a just a kid I'd sometimes come to tears because I realized I had committed a sin, and was surely going to hell. If I did something wrong I would prey desperately to God for forgiveness and how I would never do it again.


Then I would assume that God really is good, caring, and loving because nothing bad would happen to be afterwards. Awesome.


However, when I got older I grew sick of the lame and varied explanations of God. I've always been concerned for others, I always asked people, "what happens to my friend if he's Buddhist?" Only to be answered by a "He goes to hell/purgatory" or a candy coated Sunday school special of, "God is with him, God loves everyone, and God forgives."


I've always questioned, "what happens to the billions of people in Eastern Asia?", "what happens to the thousands of Chinese children who died in the earthquake, when they don't even know the idea of God?"


I can't accept that.


It drove me nuts, so I opened my eyes. When I was at church I then realized that 90% of the people attending every Sunday were elderly people, unusually nice older people. People who would participate, donate, and listen to whatever the church decided on.
Just like I was terrified as a child, the elderly crowd is constantly trying to change their habits and become "good" again, and try to affirm a belief that they don't even fully understand themselves -- as long as they win when they die. Religion is an incentive, not a belief.


Now I didn't write this to **** anyone off, to offend anyone, or claim that God doesn't exist. I wrote this because I thought it would prove as an interesting look at a once devout believer in his faith, who realized his faith was only strong because he beat the logical curiosity out of his head when it came to religion.


Are all Christians insecure about their faith? Maybe, I'm not sure really. I always thought the thoughts in my head were the thoughts of every other Christian, just that they are afraid to talk about it -- as it would show disobedience to God.
I do believe Christianity teaches great morals, that there are just as many "good" Christians as "bad." And I even admit that Church is a fun experience that kids should have.


I just don't believe in being terrified by the unknown, much less attack others for it. I want to believe in God, I want to be assured entrance into Heaven, but it is impossible. There is no way I can completely forget the questions in my head.


Therefore I can never embrace my faith. I can't even say, "I believe" anymore.
 

doppelganger

Through the Looking Glass
"Christianity" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "believing in God." In fact, "Christianity" doesn't necessarily depend on "belief" about anything in particular - unless you're fixated on insisting that it does. There are non-"religious" approaches to being "Christian".
 
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oldcajun

__BE REAL
First of all, God is a just God, He would never condemn anyone without that person knowing about Him and understanding Him.

D.L. Moody said "Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian." I think maybe that's what you're doing, although I may be wrong.:)
 

Embrace

Member
First of all, God is a just God, He would never condemn anyone without that person knowing about Him and understanding Him.

D.L. Moody said "Out of 100 men, one will read the Bible, the other 99 will read the Christian." I think maybe that's what you're doing, although I may be wrong.:)

So if you introduced Christianity to a strongly Buddhist city in China and the people there rejected it, would they be condemned?
 

Jayhawker Soule

-- untitled --
Premium Member
doppelgänger;1222520 said:
"Christianity" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "believing in God." In fact, "Christianity" doesn't necessarily depend on "belief" about anything in particular - unless you're fixated on insisting that it does. There are non-"religious" approaches to being "Christian".
And non-"theistic" approaches to being religious.
 

idea

Question Everything
So if you introduced Christianity to a strongly Buddhist city in China and the people there rejected it, would they be condemned?

No. It takes a long time to really understand what Christianity is all about - a lifetime to understand. - only accountable for what we know.
Being told something and "knowing" it are two very different things.

Luke 12:
48 But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever cmuch is dgiven, of him shall be much erequired: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

The following is not meant to offend anyone's beliefs in any way:

I was raised Christian, and went to church every Sunday. Then I become an adolescent and started to questions things.

good! We are commanded to ask questions. You will not be given anything if you lack the courage to ask :)

7Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you:
8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.


It came to the point that the only reason I always answered "Yes, of course" to the "do you believe in God?" question, was because I was terrified of punishment for not believing (whether in the afterlife or my current social standing).


But you must embrace the idea of God, not question or doubt it -- otherwise your faith is false.

or perhaps you did not have any faith to begin with? Just the faith of your parents etc... That is OK, it is good to be honest - God has no grandchildren, only sons and daughters. No borrowed light, you have to find your own way...

I grew up saying "yes" immediately to questions of my faith because I thought not hesitating or thinking about it, and answering as if it was a silly question because of course I believe in God, and that meant that I was a firm believer.


I think most Christians are like this, otherwise they wouldn't be so defensive.

not all Christians are like this. I am a Christian who is not offended by honesty, there are many others like me... but then everyone thinks everyone else is like them :D it is true, there are things that are common to us all. Most "real" Christians have gone through what you are going through right now. It is how you gain a personal testimony.

A firm believer could easily block attacks of their faith by simply not responding, but instead you see pages and pages of arguments of people trying to assure others that the path they chose is the right one, instead you see several thousand years of violence and war because people's faith is so "strong" when it's really the exact opposite. People who try to "save" you, are really just trying to make themselves feel better.

Not everyone is motivated by selfish endeavors.


If you love grapefruit, would you be offended if someone else didn't like grapefruit? Would you argue with them? Would you hurt them? Would you kill them? Would you try to convince them that it is delicious when they find it bitter?

If you go to school, get a PhD, get a great job - would you try to make your kids go to school like you did? If you discovered medicine that would cure cancer - would you try and get others to take it? School is hard and medicine tastes bad - sure people will not like it at first...

This sounds silly because everyone knows that people acquire different tastes for different foods throughout their life.


But when you say you don't have faith in Christ, it's never just an "Oh, ok" response. Every President we've had has been Christian, because if he didn't mention God in at least one of his speeches, he wouldn't get elected. Simply because he didn't like grapefruit.


Simply because the "stout" Christian followers are actually frightened and insecure people -- and who wouldn't be? When I was a just a kid I'd sometimes come to tears because I realized I had committed a sin, and was surely going to hell. If I did something wrong I would prey desperately to God for forgiveness and how I would never do it again.

Then I would assume that God really is good, caring, and loving because nothing bad would happen to be afterwards. Awesome.


However, when I got older I grew sick of the lame and varied explanations of God. I've always been concerned for others, I always asked people, "what happens to my friend if he's Buddhist?" Only to be answered by a "He goes to hell/purgatory" or a candy coated Sunday school special of, "God is with him, God loves everyone, and God forgives."


I've always questioned, "what happens to the billions of people in Eastern Asia?", "what happens to the thousands of Chinese children who died in the earthquake, when they don't even know the idea of God?"

I can't accept that.

There are other denominations you know :)
Rather than condemning people to hell - (and we don't say hell does not exist either) - we do baptisms for the dead, so that people who did not have a chance to understand who God is in this life can have that chance in the next - everyone will have the change to accept/reject God.

It drove me nuts, so I opened my eyes. When I was at church I then realized that 90% of the people attending every Sunday were elderly people, unusually nice older people.

Not at my church!

People who would participate, donate, and listen to whatever the church decided on.

If the church is your god, you will find no God in your church...
hopefully everyone follows God, not a church...

Just like I was terrified as a child, the elderly crowd is constantly trying to change their habits and become "good" again, and try to affirm a belief that they don't even fully understand themselves -- as long as they win when they die. Religion is an incentive, not a belief.

Now I didn't write this to **** anyone off, to offend anyone, or claim that God doesn't exist. I wrote this because I thought it would prove as an interesting look at a once devout believer in his faith, who realized his faith was only strong because he beat the logical curiosity out of his head when it came to religion.


Are all Christians insecure about their faith?

No - I am a convert though. I once questioned faith as you do now. I have recieved an answer from the Holy Spirit, and now have no doubts whatsoever. I don't claim to know everything, but I do know God exists, and that He is loving, just, merciful, and perfect.

Maybe, I'm not sure really. I always thought the thoughts in my head were the thoughts of every other Christian, just that they are afraid to talk about it -- as it would show disobedience to God.
I do believe Christianity teaches great morals, that there are just as many "good" Christians as "bad." And I even admit that Church is a fun experience that kids should have.


I just don't believe in being terrified by the unknown, much less attack others for it.

I don't believe in that either.

I want to believe in God, I want to be assured entrance into Heaven, but it is impossible. There is no way I can completely forget the questions in my head.

Don't forget them, answer them.


Therefore I can never embrace my faith. I can't even say, "I believe" anymore.

keep your belief in God, change your church. IMO.
 
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tomspug

Absorbant
Faith in God SHOULD make sense. By that I mean that there shouldn't be faith with no sense (unless blind faith is your goal). You should never feel obligated to believe in something you don't understand. And you should never feel pressured by people that "love" you to pretend to be something that you are not.

Christianity in America is strange. If you are struggling with belief and you tell your family about it, typically, the response is one of frustration and/or grief. I don't understand this. Isn't it NATURAL to ask questions? To question things? Shouldn't Christians know the answers to hard questions? When we're kids, we ask questions all the time about things, and parents are usually happy to explain, but when it comes to religion... yeah, a lot of people don't like questioning things.

I think that you are right that there are many, many Christians that are insecure and don't really understand their faith. But there are many of them that do, who have an earnest faith and aren't afraid of questions.

Here's what I recommend: live your life the way you think you should. If you have questions about Christianity, find a friend (not a family member) who you trust and respect, who is also a Christian with strong beliefs. Bring your questions to that person, or ask if you can get in touch with their pastor. Usually, behind every strong Christian is a good pastor. If you really want to find answers, pastors are generally not afraid of tough questions. It's kind of their living.

Good luck, and don't be discouraged. If God is a just and loving God, then the truth will be satisfactory.
 

Charity

Let's go racing boys !
I am very secure in my faith. I am sincerely sorry that you have been made to feel the way you do....You should believe because you want to not because it is expected of you, or that you fear repercussions from family or friends. Some of these people really mean to do no harm and they think they are doing what is expected of them to condemn and put you on a guilt trip. A lot of them have turned more people off to religion that than they have ever won to their religion.
I hope that you find some answers either here on this forum or from someone that is impartial to you when it comes to your belief. Maybe you will find out that there is a place in religion for you. Wishing you the best and much happiness. :D

Charity
 

Quagmire

Imaginary talking monkey
Staff member
Premium Member
Welcome to RF, Embrace!

Lol! So you've discovered the Emperor has no clothes (or perhaps that the clothes contained no Emperor).

Congratulations! Perhaps God exists in the naked truth, rather than in a well dressed-up deception (?)
 

MoonWater

Warrior Bard
Premium Member
Welcome aboard. I had similar issues throughout my junior high and high school years when I started asking questions. Though I must admit it wasn't nearly as hard on me as it seems to have been on you, but then I was lucky in that I had a very open and accepting family and attended a very open and accepting church. I was never taught that non-believers would go to hell and that Jesus was the only door to salvation. All the same I still found myself asking questions and eventually ended up leaving Christianity. I started exploring for something else to believe and eventually found that there wasn't a mold out there that completely fit me. At the same time I realized that I had begun to create my own mold based on the other religions I had encountered. So I continued it's creation and created my own religion including a mythology. Now do I believe that this religion of mine is the only right one? Certainly not, I made it up. The mythology is almost certainly wrong and as for my ideas on the gods and spirits and what not, well there's no way to know but I'm most likely wrong about them too. It doesn't matter to me though because That stuff isn't all that important. I could be completely proven wrong and it wouldn't change who I am at all because my morals, my ethics, my personality, and most everything else are not based in my religion. I would certainly change my beliefs, but I wouldn't act any differently. My point from this whole rant is that people need to find their own path and I think it's horrible that so many try and force people down a particular path when it isn't neccessarily the one for them. So I would suggest that if you feel Christianity isn't the path for you try finding another path or create your own as I did. The path doesn't even have to involve any religion or God. The way I see it there is no right or wrong religion/non-religion only the one that is right for you.

Sorry for the long winded reply but I hope it helps
 

DarkSun

:eltiT
doppelgänger;1222520 said:
"Christianity" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "believing in God." In fact, "Christianity" doesn't necessarily depend on "belief" about anything in particular - unless you're fixated on insisting that it does. There are non-"religious" approaches to being "Christian".

Agreed.

And I'll also add that as soon as people try to induce fear onto others by saying that if they don't conform to a set view on what is "right" then you'll burn, then they've completely missed the point.

By their very nature, humans are flawed: we make mistakes. No amount of holy water is going to change that. But in knowing that we've made the mistakes to begin with, in showing compassion in all ways you can, in trying your hardest to overcome original sin - then in my book, you've done all that you can to ensure salvation.

Faith in Christ doesn't make you a good person - hey, I've come to believe, but that doesn't automatically get me into heaven.

Through Christ's word and adherence to what He said - I believe that is what separates people. Since all religions preach similar ethics, following a different faith isn't as bad as it sounds. Who knows - perhaps this is how it was planned.

Not that anyone should worry about salvation. People spend too much time thinking about the life ahead that they forget to live for now. That needs to change.
 
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Peace

Quran & Sunnah
Hello Embrace and welcome to RF :)
I can feel that God is still there in your heart but you just need to renew your relationship with Him. If you resort to God with sincerity for help and for guidance He won't disappoint you. God is there just so close to you than you can ever imagine, but you just need to trust Him and to knock at His door, you can talk to Him and ask Him directly, for there is no mediator between the Creator and His creation.

Peace
 

logician

Well-Known Member
doppelgänger;1222520 said:
"Christianity" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "believing in God." In fact, "Christianity" doesn't necessarily depend on "belief" about anything in particular - unless you're fixated on insisting that it does. There are non-"religious" approaches to being "Christian".


So the billions spouting the apostle's creed every Sunday are just giving lip service to nonsense?
 

Charity

Let's go racing boys !
doppelgänger;1222520 said:
"Christianity" doesn't necessarily have anything to do with "believing in God." In fact, "Christianity" doesn't necessarily depend on "belief" about anything in particular - unless you're fixated on insisting that it does. There are non-"religious" approaches to being "Christian".
The word Christian itself means to be Christ like. How can you be called a Christian and not believe in God? Chrisitianity is based on belief and faith and particularly in God. Please tell me how you can have a non-religious approach to being a Christian when Christianity is a religion......? If you don't believe in God or don't believe or have faith why would you be called a Christian? :shrug:
 
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MoonWater

Warrior Bard
Premium Member
The word Christian itself means to be Christ like. How can you be called a Christian and not believe in God? Chrisitianity is based on belief and faith and particularly in God. Please tell me how you can have a non-religious approach to being a Christian when Christianity is a religion......? If you don't believe in God or don't believe or have faith why would you be called a Christian? :shrug:

I think the answer to your question is within your own post. "The word Christian itself means to be Christ like". That gives the answer right there IMO. If you act like Christ did, love your neighbor, accept others, forgive people, don't judge them, etc. then you are living by the ideals of Christ, you are Christ-like. And it isn't necessary, at least I don't think, to believe in God in order to act like Christ and live by his ideals. Like for me I don't personally follow the abrahamic god but I still try to follow many of Christ teachings in my life because I see the wisdom in what he taught. If it weren't for the fact that many of the other things that I believe are not apart of or go directly against Christianity as a whole I would probably still identify myself as Christian... or at least agnostic Christian. Does that help answer your question.
 

Embrace

Member
Thank you for all the responses and advice guys, however I believe I have come to my own conclusion.

Since it is impossible for me to truly believe in something that makes no sense, I won't. I don't want to say I am an atheist, agnostic would be a more accurate term but I can now comfortably say, "No I do not believe in a god."

I feel like my mind has been freed, and that I am able to see beauty in the world that I was not able to see before. I am just going to live my life and appreciate it.

If you are curious how I came about this, it is because I have been listening to Richard Dawkins for the past couple of nights (literrally hours and hours of his speeches, interviews, and excerpts from his book, "The God Delusion" )and I have found everything he says to be nothing short of enlightening.

To anyone else on the fence about religion, I recommend you listen to this man as insight to other possibilities (based on evidence). He has a lot of great speeches on YouTube and QnA sessions run by followers of religion themselves, and you can always check out his books.

He changed my life in 2 nights.
 
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