I need to rant

[Nakosis]

My son stopped in yesterday, always love to see and visit with him. He just returned from Florida, Disneyworld.
Our of the blue he asked what I thought of Governor DeSantis and that was the beginning of the end of a lovely visit. Politically we are on the opposite sides. To makes matters worse of course the topic of abortion raised its ugly head, and all hell broke loose. My oldest daughter, who lives with us, had an abortion when she was 17. She was experiencing seizures and was on medication the doctor considered unsafe for the baby. I did not know she was pregnant. My son, who is now an evangelical, belongs to a church in which they live by the Christianity of St Paul. Jesus said he came, 'not to bring peace on earth, but division; even in one’s own household, two against three and three against two.' All this leaves me, a mother who loves all her children, in the middle.

We don't talk about politics or religion.
There is no point, imo, trying to win an argument here.
I accept people are going to have different religious/political views.
One has to accept that for the sake of family harmony.

Neither politics nor religion is more important than keeping the family together.

 

[Fallen Prophet]

If he's attacking and shaming his sister, then yes. He knew his words would be hurtful and divisive.

I missed the part where her son was shaming his sister.

What post was that mentioned in because it is not in the OP.

 

[sun rise]

@pearl , I'm sorry to hear about the familial "civil war". I guess there's nothing that can be done about it but to endure.

 

[Secret Chief]

Over the weekend I had a nice vigorous chat with
family & in-laws about politics & religion. But it
was limited to certain family members...with some
fortunately being elsewhere.
It can be done....but it requires care.

They should join RF

 

[Luchito Prays]

My son stopped in yesterday, always love to see and visit with him. He just returned from Florida, Disneyworld.
Our of the blue he asked what I thought of Governor DeSantis and that was the beginning of the end of a lovely visit. Politically we are on the opposite sides. To makes matters worse of course the topic of abortion raised its ugly head, and all hell broke loose. My oldest daughter, who lives with us, had an abortion when she was 17. She was experiencing seizures and was on medication the doctor considered unsafe for the baby. I did not know she was pregnant. My son, who is now an evangelical, belongs to a church in which they live by the Christianity of St Paul. Jesus said he came, 'not to bring peace on earth, but division; even in one’s own household, two against three and three against two.' All this leaves me, a mother who loves all her children, in the middle.

Hmm, All right.

Your situation has been told very clearly.

What is your position about it?

Have you tried to do something?

Will you just leave the situation like it is?

Do you think your family must do some changes on themselves? If yes, what those changes can be?

To me, your family looks very normal, mistakes here, ideologies there, each one with his own personality.

 

[Secret Chief]

There is a difference between avoiding a topic entirely and being confrontational.

Allow me to share my personal experience:

My daughter (a 22-year-old adult) does some things in life that I and my ex-wife do not agree with or feel are in her best interest. We have two entire different approaches with how we express our thoughts on these:

My ex is confrontational, telling my daughter what she should do. As a result, the spend a great deal of time arguing as a result of the drama that my ex created between them.

I approach things from sharing my own experiences and sharing what I would do in her given situation. I don't tell her what to do. It's her life and the choice is hers. More times than not, she sees things my way and changes her behaviors. Other times she doesn't. In those cases, she is aware that she will have to live with the consequences of her actions. We get along splendidly, and I don't recall the last time we had an argument or when there was any drama between us.

You mention you would do such things out of love. What do you think is a better show of love? Offering guidance and support or barking orders?

It's like we share one brain. Can I have it Thursday till about 5?

 

[Secret Chief]

Just cuz someone is family doesn't mean they're
the kind of people one likes. The hateful ones
can be excised.
We (3) have 2 siblings who are no longer in the
family. They never were likeable people, & one
major event precipitated going separate ways.
It's been wonderful.

Likewise, my partner and her sibling, me and my sibling.

 

[Orbit]

My son stopped in yesterday, always love to see and visit with him. He just returned from Florida, Disneyworld.
Our of the blue he asked what I thought of Governor DeSantis and that was the beginning of the end of a lovely visit. Politically we are on the opposite sides. To makes matters worse of course the topic of abortion raised its ugly head, and all hell broke loose. My oldest daughter, who lives with us, had an abortion when she was 17. She was experiencing seizures and was on medication the doctor considered unsafe for the baby. I did not know she was pregnant. My son, who is now an evangelical, belongs to a church in which they live by the Christianity of St Paul. Jesus said he came, 'not to bring peace on earth, but division; even in one’s own household, two against three and three against two.' All this leaves me, a mother who loves all her children, in the middle.

My mother is a Trumper. I had to institute a "no political conversation" rule to preserve the relationship. The alternative would have been to cut her off entirely, as she is completely unreasonable.

 

[Father Heathen]

I missed the part where her son was shaming his sister.

What post was that mentioned in because it is not in the OP.

It's obviously implied that he instigated a confrontation regarding his sister's abortion; i.e. "all hell broke loose". What else could it mean?

 

[Secret Chief]

POW?

Privately Owned Weapon?

 

[mikkel_the_dane]

Privately Owned Weapon?

Sorry. English is not my first language. Point of view, POV not POW.

 

[Secret Chief]

Sorry. English is not my first language. Point of view, POV not POW.

It's a bit better than my Danish.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

Politics and religion are good topics to avoid in family discussions, especially when it's already known that family members have conflicting opinions.

I agree with you, SalixIncendium. I had to cut my extended family out of my life because of the longstanding conflict that was between us. The rift wasn't caused completely by our religious and political differences, but that was part of the problem. I'm not exaggerating when I say that my entire family are all Trumpsters who have no tolerance whatsoever for anyone who opposes Trump, especially if the person is a Republican. And if the other person says that they're a Democrat, then God help them if they ever get into a political argument with my relatives. My "family" treated me like dirt and ostracized me when they found out I didn't vote for Trump in 2016.

 

[Secret Chief]

My mother is a Trumper. I had to institute a "no political conversation" rule to preserve the relationship. The alternative would have been to cut her off entirely, as she is completely unreasonable.

I can see the sense in that. Yet even though my best mate and I are 180% on politics, I quite like talking the P word with him, it gives me an understanding of his views. Of course, he's still wrong

 

[Secret Chief]

then God help them if they ever get into a political argument with my relatives.

God I would love that

 

[Revoltingest]

They should join RF

I keep the real world separate from RF.
Besides...these people have lives.

 

[Secret Chief]

these people have lives.

Weird.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Let's put it this way: when I know that my child adheres to, for example, nazi ideology, I will NOT be avoiding the topic. It would break my heart and would do everything I can to make him realize the error of his ways and how judgmental hatred is not a proper way to lead your life.

Even if it means yelling and throwing glasses around the room.

But, at the same time, sometimes you just have to accept what you can't change. Sure, question and challenge these views but ultimately you can't sacrifice yourself. Such as losing it to the point of yelling and throwing things. He can get the 14 Words tattooed across his face, and throwing things is child abuse or assualt and battery depending on the age.
And do you want to confirm the world doesn't understand and just hates them or show your son the error of his ways with love and compassion?

 

[Valjean]

Politics and religion are good topics to avoid in family discussions, especially when it's already known that family members have conflicting opinions.

I tend to disagree.
One isn't going to grow intellectually, religiously or morally by hiding one's head in the sand and avoiding discussion of important matters.
Discussions of the weather, your job or the latest antics of your cat are insipid, boring and unproductive. They're not going to further your political, scientific or philosophical understanding of the world.

I think a good discussion of important and relevant issues makes for the most exciting and productive table talk.

 

[Kenny]

My son stopped in yesterday, always love to see and visit with him. He just returned from Florida, Disneyworld.
Our of the blue he asked what I thought of Governor DeSantis and that was the beginning of the end of a lovely visit. Politically we are on the opposite sides. To makes matters worse of course the topic of abortion raised its ugly head, and all hell broke loose. My oldest daughter, who lives with us, had an abortion when she was 17. She was experiencing seizures and was on medication the doctor considered unsafe for the baby. I did not know she was pregnant. My son, who is now an evangelical, belongs to a church in which they live by the Christianity of St Paul. Jesus said he came, 'not to bring peace on earth, but division; even in one’s own household, two against three and three against two.' All this leaves me, a mother who loves all her children, in the middle.

I am sorry to hear that.

It is also unfortunate that he took the position of quoting "not to bring peace but division" because he also said "Blessed are the peacemakers". Both are correct and, imv, in this case he was wrong in its application.

All I can say is our prayers are with you and your prayers will make all the difference in the world. And God loves your daughter!