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I might be back, let's see

Discussion in 'Are you new to ReligiousForums.com?' started by HiddenDjinn, Dec 2, 2019 at 8:41 PM.

  1. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    I've been gone for years, for several reasons, and I'm back around and in the middle of a spiritual journey of sorts. I'm no longer going to consider myself Jewish by any stretch of the imagination, nor will I consider myself atheist, Satanic, or much of the others. I've found myself within the realm of Protestant Christianity. If you're remotely interested in the trip that got me here, I'll be happy to oblige you, but be warned, the trip isn't over by a long shot.
     
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  2. KAT-KAT

    KAT-KAT Well-Known Member
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    Hey, welcome or welcome back!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  3. Sinncubus-74

    Sinncubus-74 Member

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    Feel free to share about your journey, I love hearing people talk about how they got to where they are. :sunflower:
     
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  4. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    I have to say the trip started in 2011, when I was having some serious doubts of my faith of choice, Judaism. I was living in Staten Island, NY with my wife and a couple that was friends with my family were having some marital issues. They committed an act in my home that I will not repeat here, but its effect was to shock me senseless. I spent days thinking, "How can someone so committed to HaShem do something so foul? I prayed over it, thought over it, and received no reply, neither in vision nor sign, from anything divine or otherwise. Over months after, I slowly realized that I didn't believe in any gods.

    Fast forward six months from that realization, and I was reading Anton LaVey and agreeing with him more than many would like to admit. By the end of 2013, I was definitely Satanist, performing compassion and destruction rituals on the regular. Sometimes the rituals worked. Sometimes they didn't. That implied that the magic that LaVey referred to may not be exactly what he described, since if it were, it'd either work or it wouldn't, consistently.

    Fast forward to 2015, I started having visions appearing in my dreams. I was driving down back roads with a man whose face was remarkably similar to the face on the Shroud of Turin(yes, he looked something like a drug addict) while I was explaining my disbelief in Christianity. The dreams would always end the same: He'd look at me and ask, "So, which one of us are you trying to convince?"

    I ignored these visions/dreams/whatever you want to call them for another four years, until they came so often, so consistently, that I couldn't ignore them anymore. In one in early 2019, I finally addressed the specter directly with, "I don't think you're my master. I'm not sure who or what you are." I got a reply, "You are one of my tools. When I decide to make use of you, you will not refuse, and you will not fail. Make your peace with this world." I've been seeing that reply on the regular in my sleeping states since. After I left NYC(I may disclose my location later, but not now,) I started looking for a church to attend. I ended up in one of the United Methodist Churches in the area that I landed. This isn't the end, just the crossroads I sit at now.
     
    • Informative Informative x 2
  5. danieldemol

    danieldemol Well-Known Member
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    Welcome back to RF :)
     
  6. sun rise

    sun rise "Let there be peace and love among all"
    Premium Member

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    Welcome back to RF
     
  7. Sinncubus-74

    Sinncubus-74 Member

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    Wow, you've been around, huh?

    You bringing up your exploration of Satanism reminded me of when I was much younger, maybe tween to 15. During that time I used to be an avid watcher of those "(insert celebrity here) is trying to brainwash you into worshipping Satan!1!" conspiracy videos. Some of the people had done enough actual research about Satanism and Luciferianism to be able to describe them, and while they did so to deter people from it, I remember thinking, "Well damn, this actually sounds good, and that LaVey guy is kinda cute." I would have never admitted it to anyone, but I was even secretly acknowledging I'd probably have gravitated towards it had I not have been raised Christian. We all know what eventually happened, though, hehe. :p

    Anyways, thanks for sharing.
     
  8. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    Your profile reminds me of something from my younger years...
     
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  9. Harel13

    Harel13 Active Member

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  10. Sinncubus-74

    Sinncubus-74 Member

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    Are/were you a metalhead, Rednek? Asking because, being a beginner, I crave the sweet recommendations.
     
  11. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    If only a staff member could change this silly old username...
     
    • Optimistic Optimistic x 1
  12. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    I have been a metalhead for 25 years. I will admit, though, I'm more interested in Blues as of late.
     
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  13. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    Remotely?

    I read your OP, and I'm like... "Why the heck not?" :)
     
  14. dybmh

    dybmh Terminal Optimist
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    Awesome! It's nice to meet you!
     
  15. Laika

    Laika Well-Known Member
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    Welcome back to the forums! I hope its better than you remember...:D

    ...although I hope you do have your rabies jab as a lot of posters have been foaming at the mouth recently... :eek:
     
    • Funny Funny x 1
  16. HiddenDjinn

    HiddenDjinn Well-Known Member

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    I've noticed. Also note the deadpan face on my profile photo. I'm making the same face now.
     
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  17. Rival

    Rival Noahide
    Staff Member Premium Member

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    Something only Admin can do. It should be done soon :)
     
  18. Aupmanyav

    Aupmanyav Be your own guru

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    I agree with that. The trip will never end if one starts on a wrong foot. Welcome back to the forum.
     
    #18 Aupmanyav, Dec 3, 2019 at 6:42 AM
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2019 at 6:48 AM
  19. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    The truth never went anywhere. It was always wherever you were. Maybe it's time to stop chasing after the symbols and live in the substance of it.

    Anyway, welcome back to the boards.
     
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