I feel whole for the first time in my life.

[Spirit of Light]

Yes... that is a good point... And removing a mental mask is very difficult.

But, imv, eventually we have to know who we are regardless of what we feel because feelings are fickle.

For an example, if I know that I am made in God's image and I am forgiven, if I encounter a feeling that I am not made in God's image and I am condemned, I can throw that feeling away because I know who and what I am.

I have not known who i am, because I never had the chance to discover it, due to my parents and my brother' view of homosexuality or gender issues, i did try to ask my parents about it and they just told me. You are a hetrosexual boy so that is clear...if I said but I feel different they stopped me.

That stuck with me until this year.

 

[JustGeorge]

Makeup does not change sexuality. And sexuality is much more complex than totally straight male that eats rust and pine cones for breakfast vs. being a flaming homosexual.

As to @Seeker of White Light good luck on your journey. Don't pay too much attention to any naysayers that you meet on the way.

Roots and pine cones!? Delicious! When are you having me over for breakfast?

Sounds more like a mid-life crisis then.

I am fully convinced my husband is going through one of those. I wish he'd have tried out and stuck with make up. It would have been so much more affordable...

 

[Vinayaka]

It is not, I found the real me because I dare to live out my sexuality

But you haven't. All y

Roots and pine cones!? Delicious! When are you having me over for breakfast?



I am fully convinced my husband is going through one of those. I wish he'd have tried out and stuck with make up. It would have been so much more affordable...

The motorcycle, the boat, the convertible, and the mistress aren't doing it for you?

 

[Subduction Zone]

Roots and pine cones!? Delicious! When are you having me over for breakfast?

Not roots. Rust. Leave some nails and nuts and bolts out in the rain for a few years. Then gnaw off the red stuff.

 

[questfortruth]

Yes... that is a good point... And removing a mental mask is very difficult.

But, imv, eventually we have to know who we are regardless of what we feel because feelings are fickle.

For an example, if I know that I am made in God's image and I am forgiven, if I encounter a feeling that I am not made in God's image and I am condemned, I can throw that feeling away because I know who and what I am.

 

[JustGeorge]

The motorcycle, the boat, the convertible, and the mistress aren't doing it for you?

Luckily, none of that... but my yard and porch are littered with Honda civics. Other than asking for a broom on Monday, he didn't say one thing that wasn't about Honda civics. On his day off, he is running all over the state to buy parts for, or like today, potentially a new Honda civic.

Some of its problematic, because he's engaged in some behaviors that are dangerous over it; he about got robbed(or worse) the other night. Someone sent the text "hi". To which he sent a flood of texts "are you the one with the blue civic?" "Its (this much), right?" "I have the money(sends picture of money in hand)" all without receiving any confirmation. The person sends back "yeah, that's me. Meet me here". Well, it was a set up. He's lucky he got away; drove to the police station once he realized what was going on, and it got them off his tail, but that was scary, and I was so angry with him I was shaking. He didn't even tell anyone where he was going, and this was the middle of the night...

Not roots. Rust. Leave some nails and nuts and bolts out in the rain for a few years. Then gnaw off the red stuff.

Rust? Even better. I'll just grab a chunk off the old pick up. That thing's so rusted through you can see your feet when driving.

 

[questfortruth]

I took care of my sick parents when I was 20 years old i lost my father when I was 23.

My life has been dedicated to help others not my self

So, I have super-ability to guess what is needed to say, let me remind you of the above debate points:

I have super-ability to guess right that is needed to say.

I guessed that at the age of 20 he was holding ideas of his mother and father. Such persons love us very much, much more than you do.

So, let me end this discussion with a song I like:

 

[JustGeorge]

So, I have super-ability to guess what is needed to say, let me remind you of the above debate points:

A super ability? Do you get to wear a costume while you say what it is you need to say?

 

[questfortruth]

A super ability? Do you get to wear a costume while you say what it is you need to say?

It just happens, my dear friend.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Then, please, recall the point of your sexuality at the age of 20, and stick to it. No point in changing sex.

I don't believe that either you or I are in a position to offer advice in such situations.

 

[Vinayaka]

It just happens, my dear friend.

What am I thinking about right now? Can you give me advice for what I'm doing this afternoon?

 

[questfortruth]

What am I thinking about right now? Can you give me advice for what I'm doing this afternoon?

miracle cannot be forced to happen.

 

[Vinayaka]

miracle cannot be forced to happen.

I knew you were gonna say that.

 

[questfortruth]

I knew you were gonna say that.

It will happen only after the death of the angel of death. God must be hidden.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Yes... that is a good point... And removing a mental mask is very difficult.

But, imv, eventually we have to know who we are regardless of what we feel because feelings are fickle.

For an example, if I know that I am made in God's image and I am forgiven, if I encounter a feeling that I am not made in God's image and I am condemned, I can throw that feeling away because I know who and what I am.

Makes sense to me. Our perspectives on why are somewhat different I guess, but I think we'd broadly agree in some ways.

If you're lucky enough...as I have been...that you can get to a point where your basic needs are met, where you have lived enough to know yourself in different situations, where you've been through some trials, but (importantly) emerged out the other side, you can get a really strong knowledge of self.

You've learnt what you are like under pressure, or when you need to protect yourself and those around you, or how you deal with grief, poverty...whatever. and that helps inform that suredness.

It's not a direct correlation with age, since some get there young, and many don't get there at all, but more time generally means more life experience, more ups and downs, more chances to test your beliefs against reality.

I think a sense of calmness (even if you can maintain a general passion for life) is one of the hallmarks of this.

And I agree with your point about feelings being fickle. I think exploring something that is potentially a passing fad, or potentially something more real than just a momentary feeling is important, as long as we're not causing harm (obviously).

Slight tangent, but I've always suspected we'd actually get along pretty well IRL, for all our theological differences, ya know??

 

[Kenny]

Makes sense to me. Our perspectives on why are somewhat different I guess, but I think we'd broadly agree in some ways.

If you're lucky enough...as I have been...that you can get to a point where your basic needs are met, where you have lived enough to know yourself in different situations, where you've been through some trials, but (importantly) emerged out the other side, you can get a really strong knowledge of self.

You've learnt what you are like under pressure, or when you need to protect yourself and those around you, or how you deal with grief, poverty...whatever. and that helps inform that suredness.

It's not a direct correlation with age, since some get there young, and many don't get there at all, but more time generally means more life experience, more ups and downs, more chances to test your beliefs against reality.

I think a sense of calmness (even if you can maintain a general passion for life) is one of the hallmarks of this.

And I agree with your point about feelings being fickle. I think exploring something that is potentially a passing fad, or potentially something more real than just a momentary feeling is important, as long as we're not causing harm (obviously).

Slight tangent, but I've always suspected we'd actually get along pretty well IRL, for all our theological differences, ya know??

Actually, this is well said. Thanks for your viewpoint!

 

[TransmutingSoul]

Thank you @ADigitalArtist
Yeah 2022 has been awakening year for me. Not just spiritually but for me as a person and i guess i have opened up to who i am

And actually a lot because of people in RF

I wish you always the best in life and faith. It is a journey of discovering our own self and our willingness of submission unto all that is of God.

This journey is not for the faint hearted. Many do not start, many who start fail, a few keep trying and rare amount find that true self.

Regards Tony

 

[Spirit of Light]

I don't believe that either you or I are in a position to offer advice in such situations.

To be honest @Evangelicalhumanist i think you would be able to understand this situation the one thing i truly struggle with

I wish you always the best in life and faith. It is a journey of discovering our own self and our willingness of submission unto all that is of God.

This journey is not for the faint hearted. Many do not start, many who start fail, a few keep trying and rare amount find that true self.

Regards Tony

Thank you Tony, your words always give me energy to discover more
This part of me that i discover an investigate now may not lay good in the Baha'i teaching and faith.

But it is something i have accepted and it is a part of me, and with Gods guidance i know i will be safe

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

To be honest @Evangelicalhumanist i think you would be able to understand this situation the one thing i truly struggle with.

Let me start by saying it's always hard to truly understand what somebody else is struggling with. That is why we really should avoid judging, and why we should avoid giving advice unless it is asked for -- and even then be honest and say that our advice is only our opinion, and might not work for you.

And truthfully, I'm not sure what you are struggling with. The desire to put on makeup? Well, the "metrosexual" era seems to have passed, but a lot of urban men were using makeup then, although they tried to make it as "masculine" as they could. In my own case, while I am gay, and have basically always been gay, that was never something that interested me. I've never felt like a have a "feminine side." I am a man who only likes sex with other men. (I'll say this part in lingo, so that it's not too offensive: while I generally like to "pitch," I've been known to "catch" sometimes, and enjoy it, too, with the right person.)

Then again, you say you don't really identify with being sexually interested in men -- although you hint you might get there for the right personality. I honestly don't know what that really means in your case. Maybe you are experiencing bisexual stirrings, maybe you've repressed other yearnings completely (as you did with make-up). That is pretty common for people in families or communities who are generally unaccepting. Nobody wants to be rejected by those close to them. And that kind of repression can become a habit, and very hard to break out of.

I had the great advantage of never having been brought up in a family at all, nor in one community, and certainly not a community that cared about such things -- so I never felt the need to hide my real self. When I was asked in high-school if I was a "fruit," (that was a common term for gay at the time) my response was, "No, I'm the whole &$%## orchard!"

If I were to give you any un-asked-for advice, it would be this -- proceed very cautiously. Make sure whatever you do, you do safely. I mean that in every way. I suspect you may be vulnerable to some emotional hurt, as well as the ever-present threat of STDs.

 

[It Aint Necessarily So]

I found the real me because I dare to live out my sexuality

I think you owe it to yourself to carefully examine what is happening here and why. Since childhood, you have been living a way that was expected of you, and you were unhappy. You began looking for answers in religions, two of which you have cast off in the time I've known you. They didn't satisfy.

Your present religion, an Abrahamic religion, will attempt to dissuade you from your thinking. Already one believer has told you how uncomfortable this makes him, and he considers you confused in a negative sense, as in mistaken. Another warns you about trusting feelings, which he puts in scare quotes, and he no doubt means the ones that contradict his religious sensibilities. Your fellow Baha'i will not encourage or congratulate you like most of this thread has but will also try to herd you back into the fold. One describes leaving that path as failing and being faint-hearted.

And please notice where did these good ideas that make you feel whole come from? Not these religions. Probably your bisexual girlfriend. You've turned from holy book to holy book for answers and found no satisfaction. A new influence came into your life, one all Abrahamic adherents will disapprove of and try to stifle if they can. But her ideas connected with who you actually are. Theirs try to shape you to conform to their moral dicta.

Shouldn't your "religion" come from life and not a book, from experience and exploration rather than trying to conform to one straitjacket after another? I highly recommend a "Rumspringa" for you - a clean break from religion for a season to look at it again from the outside in and decide if you prefer being within or without. See what a year or two of exploring life with a guide like your girlfriend gives you and compare it to what the religions give you.

Then if you like the change, make your own "religion" from the parts of these other ism that resonate with you. What parts of Baha'i seem right to YOU? Keep those and discard the rest. Likewise with any other philosophy or worldview. That's what those of us outside of religion do perforce. We piece together a world view rather than choose a prefab one and try to make it fit - a procrustean feat for some.

Now THAT'S a spiritual journey, and one that might actually reveal spiritual truths about your own spirit and spirituality, which you will recognize by the way these ideas resonate. You trust your own instincts, which has been difficult for you in the past, but you are learning how to do that now thanks to your girlfriend.

Congratulations and good luck in your journey.