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I don't want children.

Discussion in 'Journals' started by YeshuaRedeemed, Dec 14, 2019.

  1. YeshuaRedeemed

    YeshuaRedeemed Revelation 3:10

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    I don't bear them ill will, I just don't want to pass on my mental problems, most of which are genetic. I am pro bodily choice, so if other mental patients want a baby, do you, boo! I am only saying what is right for my body. Please don't hate me, I am just suffering the complications of mental illness and autism spectrum disorder. I hate my life so much. Yes, I do have safety plans, so please don't report me. I just can't have a baby, and I need to talk about. For the record, I had my tubes removed for birth control.
     
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  2. Harel13

    Harel13 Well-Known Member

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    I don't see why someone would hate you for this. It just sounds sad, and I'm sorry to read this. I can't imagine what you're going through.
     
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  3. YeshuaRedeemed

    YeshuaRedeemed Revelation 3:10

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    Thank you. You are so kind. One of the symptoms of my autism is anger, and it makes me hate myself for it.
     
  4. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Sākṣī
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    I think your choices regarding child rearing are quite responsible given your circumstances and I, for one, admire you for making them.

    I only hope that you find a way to appreciate the experience of life and who you are.
     
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  5. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    You have made brave and responsible decisions here, no one will hate you for them.
     
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  6. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    A logical choice, one that many others, unsuited to parenthood, probably should have made. Good on you!
     
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  7. Terry Sampson

    Terry Sampson I'm here for the froobies.

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    Hear! Hear! although there's a good chance I wouldn't be here if my mother had exercised that choice.
     
  8. Vinayaka

    Vinayaka devotee
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    I just cringe when I hear some folks say they want to have a family.
     
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  9. Evangelicalhumanist

    Evangelicalhumanist "Truth" isn't a thing...
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    I'm luckier than you, since I'm gay and children was never going to be a problem. And that's a good thing, too, because as a battered child myself, and all the trouble I had growing out of the aftermath, I know that if I'd had children in my 20s or 30s it's almost certain I would have been an abusive parent myself. (Surprisingly, now that I'm old, I'm find it easier and easier to enjoy the company of kids. Other people's, to be sure, but still...)
     
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  10. Bird123

    Bird123 Well-Known Member

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    We all have the Power to Choose what we deem important. Instead of putting the focus on what you can't do, nurture and expand that which you can do. Everyone is Special in their own way regardless of the challenges we might have. Share that which is Special about you with the world.

    I knew a man who was crippled badly. He was in a wheel chair and could hardly move. On the other hand, people always fought and crowded to be around him. He gave unconditional Love, built up everyone around him, and radiated joy everywhere he went. It was truly remarkable to see and learn from this man.

    AS I see it, we all carry something special that others around us need. I think we all need to stop trying to be cookie cutter people and let who we really are shine.

    There might be a million things I can't do, however there are a million things I can do. If there is something I can't have, maybe I can help someone else get it for themselves.

    Well, that's what I am seeing.
     
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  11. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I also have genetic problems, a propensity to depression and anxiety, although I do not have mental illness. But I never wanted children because I was emotionally abandoned by my parents and I perceived myself as not being wanted. Why then would I want children, unless I did not think about what could happen?

    I see no reason to feel guilty about not wanting children. If more people made this decision there would be a lot fewer unwanted and maltreated children in the world, Imo, many people have children for the wrong reasons, and I often wonder how many people even think about why they want children. If they did not know why they should not have had any children.
     
  12. The Hammer

    The Hammer Virtue, Piety, Study
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    Do what makes you happy, that is all that truly matters in life. As long as it bears no I'll will or harm to another.
     
  13. YeshuaRedeemed

    YeshuaRedeemed Revelation 3:10

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    Thank you. How have you been?
     
  14. SalixIncendium

    SalixIncendium Sākṣī
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    I've been well. Thank you for asking. :)
     
  15. YeshuaRedeemed

    YeshuaRedeemed Revelation 3:10

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    No prob!
     
  16. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Ov Fire and the Void
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    I understand what you're saying and I respect your choice but it hits close to home since I have mental illness and a lot of problems steming from that. Both sides of my family are abusive and mental illness and addiction problems run through both sides. I also have anger issues and was even given medication to help with my rage just today. I often think that passing on my genes would be a horrible choice because of it and I should never be a parent because I'll screw the kids up. But that's not being very fair to myself and forgetting the power of the individual to will change in their life. I do actually want to have kids one day. I want to be a dad. They most certainly will not be biological children but that's not due to any eugenic reason. I want to change myself and fix my life. We are who we want to be. So I won't cheer on your decision like I see some doing (which disturbs me a bit, frankly) but I do respect your choice while perhaps not fully agreeing with the reasoning behind it. Best wishes to you.
     
    #16 Saint Frankenstein, Jan 6, 2020
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2020
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