I am no longer a Sikh

[Treks]

After 13 years of study and many years of practice, I am no longer a Sikh, or even "Kind-of Sikh-ish".
Here's why:

• While Sikhi has beautiful poetry, it's circular definitions drive me crazy. It seems to be a case of Hukam is Shabad is Guru is Naam is Shabad is Hukam is Guru. The definitions are not obvious.
• The leadership in Amritsar seems to be more concerned with politics than with problems, or actually, like, guiding the Sikh community in any way, shape or form.
  • For example, women still don't get the opportunity to sing in Harmandir Sahib - why?
• The Dasam Granth contains a whole massive chapter on the sexual wiles of women, and yet Sikhs are supposed to recite songs from this book every day, and in fact one daily poem is from this chapter (which is at the end, and not related to the sexual material).
• White people are expected to abandon their own culture and become as Punjabi as possible.
• Anti-Western sentiment comes out frequently.
• Despite its great foundation in rationality, an element of supernaturalism is creeping in, with things such as the "tenth door", the "technology of hair", ritualism around anything written in the sacred script, and ritualistic activities in the Gurdwara like air conditioners for the comfort of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji (scripture).

The good bits of Sikhi aren't unique to Sikhi. I don't need to sacrifice my cultural identity to be a good person. I don't need to spend hours and hours mulling over poetry which utilizes terminology that does not seem to be adequately defined, to be a good person.

Some people do find their peace in Sikhi. More power to them. Sadly, it's just not where I belong anymore.

I have enjoyed the food though.

 

[Lyndon]

One of my absolute best friends is Jewish and married to a Sikh from Punjab, but he is not strict, without long hair and turban, but still performs many of the prayers and ceremonies. They had a Sikh wedding and a Western ceremony. They have their problems but their religions don't seem to be a problem for them. Her biggest issue is his refusing to learn English better, which I think is kind of silly, he's speaks English well enough for me to understand, if you marry an Indian, you can't realistically expect them to speak English the way you do.

 

[RedDragon94]

To tell you the truth, I'm having trouble with my religious identity as well. You're not the only one. I wonder sometimes whether I've just been fed this stuff my whole life and if it's what I actually see by experience and reason. I read the Bible but I don't feel as strong a connection as I used to.

 

[DawudTalut]

After 13 years of study and many years of practice, I am no longer a Sikh, or even "Kind-of Sikh-ish".
Here's why:

• While Sikhi has beautiful poetry, it's circular definitions drive me crazy. It seems to be a case of Hukam is Shabad is Guru is Naam is Shabad is Hukam is Guru. The definitions are not obvious.
• The leadership in Amritsar seems to be more concerned with politics than with problems, or actually, like, guiding the Sikh community in any way, shape or form.
  • For example, women still don't get the opportunity to sing in Harmandir Sahib - why?
• The Dasam Granth contains a whole massive chapter on the sexual wiles of women, and yet Sikhs are supposed to recite songs from this book every day, and in fact one daily poem is from this chapter (which is at the end, and not related to the sexual material).
• White people are expected to abandon their own culture and become as Punjabi as possible.
• Anti-Western sentiment comes out frequently.
• Despite its great foundation in rationality, an element of supernaturalism is creeping in, with things such as the "tenth door", the "technology of hair", ritualism around anything written in the sacred script, and ritualistic activities in the Gurdwara like air conditioners for the comfort of the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji (scripture).

The good bits of Sikhi aren't unique to Sikhi. I don't need to sacrifice my cultural identity to be a good person. I don't need to spend hours and hours mulling over poetry which utilizes terminology that does not seem to be adequately defined, to be a good person.

Some people do find their peace in Sikhi. More power to them. Sadly, it's just not where I belong anymore.

I have enjoyed the food though.

Peace be on you....If one may ask, Was you a born Sikh? and Panjabi Sikh Immigrant to where you are? Do you have concept of worldwide-Jama'at [community] ..

 

[ShivaFan]

Usually, most who are seeking their path and identity, do not as much announce to the world what they are not but rather what they have become as they move into another stage as the seeker.

The one exception to this, is when those whom the seeker wants to associate with have rejected the seeker or forbid the seeker from entering their circles. In this later case, you then hear such pronunciations of what you are no longer or what the seeker now walks away from, understandbly so.

Perhaps you feel rejected, I don't know. Of course, another part of the story here is that, as a member of the RF perhaps you were telling all the members you were Sikh, and now you are not, but because other members might still think you a Sikh you feel the need to let other members know you are not since most members do not have time to follow the various activities of individual members beyond just putting them in "simple boxes". It seems this is all one can expect since there is little time.

I hope you can soon announce what you are, as important if not more important than what you are not.

Remember, Sikhs are as complicated as you are. Do not put them all "in a box". For example, you seem to think you are white but Panjabis are not. To me, they are white, but ... watch out for boxes. No need to nitpick, so I will leave it there instead of going into the other points you mention.

Good luck on your path being a seeker, let us know what you are becoming as much as what you are not. Don't let any anger define what you have become or are becoming! Best hopes!

Your supernaturalist friend who likes samosas, ShivaFan

 

[Lyndon]

If you just left one religion, I wouldn't be in any kind of a rush to announce a new one, I just left Buddhism, that's why I say influenced by Buddhism, not Buddhist, I am influenced by every religion I have practiced, I don't renounce religions I just move on when I can't agree with most all of their major teachings.

We recently had a member go from Catholicism to Luciferianism/Satanism almost overnight, how does that happen??

 

[StarryNightshade]

Best of luck to you @Treks. Just remember: it's all a process. A part of the journey.

 

[Treks]

@DawudTalut : No, I was not born a Sikh. My mum is kind of a Christian, my dad is an atheist. I'm an Australian with English/Scottish/German heritage. I've connected with Sikhs over the years, but despite my best efforts at the Gurdwara to connect with people IRL, I have not been successful. This is probably due to my own social ineptitude and shyness.

@ShivaFan : I don't know if I was rejected since I never really integrated. I've been struggling with Sikhi on an intellectual level for a while - I'm just not a Sikh. I've spent time hanging out online with a small minority of Sikhs who have some similar views as I do, but the anti-Western sentiment make me uncomfortable. Having said that, there have been a lot of positive people along the way, too. Ultimately, I'm just not suited for Sikhi.

And I've been in a "box" this whole time. In 2010 I went to Sikh camp for four days / three nights. I spent most of the time on my own - eating alone, wandering around alone, etc. The language barrier is a problem as well, and there is no where to learn Punjabi here, and I really struggle with pronunciation - I need a human teacher, the books and CDs only take me so far. But ultimately, like I said, perhaps it's just my social ineptitude.

I've put my announcement up for a couple of reasons:

1. Make it official to myself - I've put the line in the sand now, no more hoping and playing along.
2. To give readers insight to my experience - they may find it educational, entertaining, or similar to their own experience.​

I have a fair idea of what/who I am. Thanks for your input

@Lyndon: Belief is just not so straightforward, hey.

 

[Baladas]

I know what it is like to leave behind such a meaningful path. When I left Christianity, it definitely felt like I just didn't belong anymore.

Best of wishes to you.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

We recently had a member go from Catholicism to Luciferianism/Satanism almost overnight, how does that happen??

You're new. I've been doing this for years.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Nothing wrong with deciding a path isn't right for you. Hope you find happiness and completion.

 

[GURSIKH]

Hi Treks ji,
Just read your post, I was away from RF .


Starrynights summed up very well..

Best of luck to you @Treks. Just remember: it's all a process. A part of the journey.

.

I just want to add that the Shabad , Guru, Hukm are One n Same .

Wishing peace n happyness for you, Thanks for being part of Sikhi for such long time and m sorry that Sikhi disappointed you .

Harman singh

 

[Satnaam]

While not being a Sikh anymore is your personal choice, I disagree with the reasons you have given. While one can't deny that these flaws have crept into mainstream Sikhi, no one stops you from following the real Sikhi, which is devoid of these corruptions?

I am also disturbed by what some Sikh sects do, what our leadership does or what goes on in some of our Gurdwaras, but once you realise that this is not Sikhi you shouldn't blame Sikhi and leave it?

 

[Satnaam]

* You should know that there are many many Sikhs out there who don't believe in Dasam Granth, ritualism, definition of 'tenth door', want women to do Kirtan in Gurdwaras etc? I am one of them.

* Our daily prayers are not from Dasam Granth, I have historical and logical internal evidence from the Guru Granth Sahib. The current compositions that have to be read daily include some of Dasam Granth but these have only been finalised in 1940s and have no historical base whatsoever.

* More and more people are awakening to the fact that the Guru is not the 'book' but the Word in it, and you can't serve it with airconditioners, blankets but by practising that Shabad.

* Sikhi has been dominated by Punjabis since the last 2 centuries but it wasnt always that way. Look at the background of Panj Pyare, they were from different parts in India. There used to be communities of Sindhi, Bihari, Assami, Bengali, Tibeti, Arabic Sikhs who vanished over time due to the massive genocide we faced and a lack of unity. So you can remain an Australian Sikh, no need to learn Punjabi even. The only thing you need to know is being able to read Gurmukhi (which is not the same as speaking Punjabi)... Because Guru Granth Sahib is written in Gurmukhi script but not only in Punjabi language, it has many languages inside.

 

[Treks]

Hi Treks ji,
Just read your post, I was away from RF .


Starrynights summed up very well..
.

I just want to add that the Shabad , Guru, Hukm are One n Same .

Wishing peace n happyness for you, Thanks for being part of Sikhi for such long time and m sorry that Sikhi disappointed you .

Harman singh

Thank you for the kind wishes. It didn't disappoint me. I just don't belong there, that's all.

 

[Treks]

@Satnaam,

Ah "the real Sikhi". You mean, my own personal interpretation of it? What would be the point, exactly? Why not just be myself to start with.

I don't 'blame' Sikhi, I merely listed some of the factors that contributed to my personal decision to leave.

I also know Sikhs who disregard Dasam Granth. The fact of the matter is that a Sikh cannot become a Khalsa Sikh without promising to recite chunks of it, daily. I agree with you; there is no reason to recite them. Daily Sikh prayers are in the first 14 pages of Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji. It couldn't be any clearer.

Ah, by 'practicing the Shabad'. Which is the same as Guru, and Hukam? Does that actually make sense, according to Gurbani?

There is pressure to give up one's culture and assimilate Punjabi culture. Perhaps I am just sensitive to it. And it doesn't make sense to me not to learn Punjabi. Learning it is great fun. But meanwhile, the isolation is disheartening, sitting surrounded by people who rarely speak English. And you know they're talking about you when they refer to you as 'the gori' (white girl) even when you've been attending Gurdwara for three years.

At any rate, more power to the rest of you.

 

[Satnaam]

Indeed, the Nitnem couldn't be any clearer as you put it.

I just suggested not to learn Punjabi seeing you were a bit uncomfortable with 'having to assimilate' because as I said SGGS is not written in Punjabi but gurmukhi script (has even persian shabads, etc). Sad about the gori bit but I guess thats something that will always 'haunt' you... Gori phenji

I sent you a PM. Perhaps its the isolation (social) that is harming the most. Australia has a relatively new Sikh sangat who don't speak english as much as Sikhs in UK/Canada because most Sikhs there are 2nd/3rd even 4th generation Sikhs.

 

[Satnaam]

Hukam is the cosmic law.

Practising the Shabad means implementing Gurbani teachings in your life, i.e. the basic virtues, cutting off the vices, defending opressed, etc etc. In my opinion practising the Shabad is more virtuous than reciting it, because if you don't practise it, it becomes the mumbling that other religions do, simply reciting while continue doing misdeeds.

 

[Treks]

I wholeheartedly agree with everything you've said, bhaji. The social isolation has been a large part of it, for me. And hearing about the negative experiences of other gori bhainjis. I have been at Gurdwara with my long uncut hair in a braid, head covered with an undercap and a chunni over the top of that, in salwar kameez, kara on my wrist, and still asked why I was at the Gurdwara, if I was a Sikh, or if I was there with my Sikh husband.

It hasn't been all bad, though. I've met a lot of lovely people. Some people have come up to me and told me I'm an inspiration to them. The sangat I attended is Malaysian diaspora so they are very accommodating and open. I've had doors closed on me at the Punjabi-run Gurdwaras, and sat there completely alone and almost avoided (I get plenty of space around me in pangat).

Do you perceive a disconnect between Gurbani and Sikhi? Like any religion, many extraneous elements have been incorporated via tradition and sakhis (stories). Could it not be argued that if one was to follow Gurbani only (live the Shabad), they could do so without even appearing like one of today's Sikhs?

Crap! I'm running late for my appointment!!!

 

[Aupmanyav]

I've had doors closed on me at the Punjabi-run Gurdwaras, and sat there completely alone and almost avoided (I get plenty of space around me in pangat).

The undercap is not required just a chunni can do and I am sorry for your experience in the Punjabi-run gurudwaras.