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I am mad

Discussion in 'General Debates' started by RayofLight, Jun 30, 2022.

  1. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    So I live in a group home for disabled folk as you all know. My dad got me a shirt. It say I'm a Ray of ****ing Sunshine on it. Problem is higher ups do not want me to wear it. Said I am not allowed to. This pissed me off. I am not working here. I am a resident. I am not about to go to work anywhere. Im wearing it on my downtime. Nondisabled folk on their downtime get to wear whatever language they like on their shirts. Just cuz I am disabled and live in a group home doesn't mean i shouldn't wear whatever language I like on my shirt when relaxing on my downtime. To me it is terribly infantalizing and offensive they want me to change my shirt. I am not a child. I should not be treated like one. It may seem like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. But stuff like this happens all the time in my life where just cuz I'm disabled im treated like a child. I've heard countless times people using a baby voice on me. I've even had folk pat me on the head(not at the group home tho some the staff have used the baby voice). I've been told by folk I shouldnt cuss when they never say that to nondisabled folk and sometimes cuss themselves. I've had folk implied not at the group home but outside of it that I am somehow unable to consent to sex just cuz I'm disabled. For once dont infantalise me. Just let me wear a whatever shirt i want on my down time. Like every adult that isnt disabled. I am not hurting anyone. I told them I won't be taking the shirt off unless they plan on kicking me out for it and they said theyll have me talk to the supervisor on the 5th.
     
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  2. JustGeorge

    JustGeorge Unknown Member
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    Can you have your dad call and vocalize his opinion?

    Having worked in places like that for over 10 years, I know the wishes of a parent go a long way...

    You shouldn't have to, though. You're not a child.

    Hell, in your place I'd probably call the supervisor myself... And I doubt I'd wait for the 5th.

    In most group homes, there are rules against treating clients in non age appropriate ways.
     
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  3. England my lionheart

    England my lionheart Rockerjahili Rebel
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    My opinion is to tell them to **** off,stand your ground.
     
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  4. InChrist

    InChrist Free4ever

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    Why would you want to wear a shirt with an obscenity on it anyway? Do you care if it offends anyone?
     
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  5. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    Oh let me see if my dad would want to call.

    Plan on it
     
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  6. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    Cuz i like the shirt. As for offending anyone it doesn't matter. Nondisabled adults are allowed to wear whatever they want on their downtime. Just cuz im disabled and live in a group home doesn't change the fact I am an adult.
     
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  7. Jayhawker Soule

    Jayhawker Soule <yawn> ignore </yawn>
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    I'm sorry that you have to deal with such stuff. At the same time, I'd be curious to know (a) what kind of group home, and (b) the grounds upon which its administration is making such demands.
     
  8. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    I live in a group home for the developmentally and intellectually disabled. Adults only not kids. As for why they are making that demand I do not know but I'll be finding out
     
  9. Jayhawker Soule

    Jayhawker Soule <yawn> ignore </yawn>
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    Thank you.

    Is the home state and/or federally funded?
     
  10. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    It's ran by an organization called Monarch. They receive funding from the state but are not a state agency and are a private organization.
     
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  11. RayofLight

    RayofLight Pronouns: they/them/their thon/thons/thonself

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    More specifically a private 501(c)3 organization
     
  12. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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    Have you ever thought that sometimes when a person is offended it is that own person's fault?
     
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  13. InChrist

    InChrist Free4ever

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    I am not insinuating you aren’t an adult. I just think it’s considerate to care about others. That is an indication of maturity and kindness.
     
  14. InChrist

    InChrist Free4ever

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    Yes, that may sometimes be the case, but I usually try to consider others and avoid being deliberately offensive.
     
  15. The Hammer

    The Hammer Fork-Beard
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    Unfortunately, as I see it. You are living under their "house" and therefore have to follow their rules and wishes.

    I've had similar requirements will in an IOP program. As well as in the military (even in down time).

    If you lived on your own no one would care. It's not really about your disability, so much as where you are. Other residents may not like the message on your shirt, and while that could be construed as "their" problem, it also makes it the Staff's problem too.
     
  16. Subduction Zone

    Subduction Zone Veteran Member

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    @RayofLight is not being deliberately offensive.

    That word can be offensive when it is aimed at others. I can understand that. But used in a light hearted and endearing way to oneself it is not offensive. The problem lies with the person that is offended, not the other way around.
     
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  17. Sand Dancer

    Sand Dancer Crazy Cat Lady

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    I am not a fan of that word, especially when children may see it, but then I wonder why we have cuss words anyway, and who decides what is a cuss and what isn't. It's pretty silly, and my view is sort of irrational, but since you're in your own place, and the phrase is kind of funny, not like you're telling someone to **** off or something, I think you should get to wear it.
     
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  18. Nimos

    Nimos Well-Known Member

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    I agree with you. As long as its not something that is directly offensive, like racist etc. then you should be able to wear what you want and can only imagine how annoying it might be to be spoken to like that, you should speak back to them in the same way as they do to you, give them a taste of their own medicine :)
     
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  19. Jayhawker Soule

    Jayhawker Soule <yawn> ignore </yawn>
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    I notice that the Monarch Rights Handbook contains multiple references to respecting the rights of others. Is it possible that others might reasonably consider your attire disrespectful of themselves or their guests?
     
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  20. InChrist

    InChrist Free4ever

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    Thanks for your opinion. You are free to have it and are certainly in agreement with the majority of society now. I think the word, as well as other obscenities are crude and offensive however and whenever used. But it really doesn’t make a difference what I think because such obscene language is prolific everyday, everywhere now.
     
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