I’m done... I can’t in good conscience continue non-veg

[Aupmanyav]

Like stvdv said: Don't feel guilty.
Like Vinayaka said: Don't make it into an issue.
Like Brickjectivity said: unfertilized eggs should be OK.
(You want to be a veg. and not a vegan. I hope you have no problem with milk, butter)

 

[Jainarayan]

Eating out, etc, it's almost not even noticeable these days, as there are plenty of vegetarian options almost everywhere.

It is much easier to eat out without meat. There was a diner/restaurant we went to where we lived. They have a second one where we live now. They have plenty of veg choices, so yeah that was easy.

Oh, and don't try to convince anyone about what you're doing. Your food is your choice...but equally, their food is their choice. At some point your example might lead to them questioning themselves, but don't proselytize.

Definitely. I don’t judge what anyone else does (within reason and the law), and have no intention of getting high and mighty. In fact I hope it goes largely unnoticed like a silent odor-free fart.

It'll be tough if NO member of your family understands your decision. But you've made this decision for a clear reason, so just accept that as part of the price.

A couple of them will, my sisters who have no filters will not understand. And that’s ok too. I just don’t appreciate being mocked in front of others, as often happens. We have a gathering coming up next month. My brother and sister-in-law from Arizona are coming to NJ. I don’t know if my Florida brother and sister-in-law are coming. If so it would be the first time in about four or five years the five of us would be together. When we have these it’s usually a buffet that my sister puts out. That will work for me, but it also includes “How come you didn’t have any meatballs? There’s sausage and peppers. The London broil came out very tender. There’s the gravy for the lasagna with sausage, meatballs and bracciole” (if it has meat it’s gravy, if it’s plain tomato sauce it sauce).

 

[Jainarayan]

Like stvdv said: Don't feel guilty.
Like Vinayaka said: Don't make it into an issue.
Like Brickjectivity said: unfertilized eggs should be OK.
(You want to be a veg. and not a vegan. I hope you have no problem with milk, butter)

I use a lot of dairy... milk, butter, ghee, yogurt, cheese, so no problem there. I often use milk or yogurt, and now cottage cheese (the western version, i.e. curds and whey) for naivedya in puja. I think He got tired of the dried raisins and mixed nuts.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

A lot of people talk about "missing" meat when they cut it out of their diets. I went vegetarian about 8 years ago now, and I can honestly say that I haven't missed meat even a bit. Even trying to empathize with someone saying they do miss meat, I come up empty every time.

 

[MikeF]

I can’t say it would bother me even now seeing this to be around meat. I don’t have to have it, and I wouldn’t judge them just as I don’t want to be judged. But there in lies the problem... judgement and disrespect, which I mentioned a little further up. Of course I should be used to it by now.

That is so unfortunate that your family is not supportive, or at the very least tolerant of your dietary choices. You are not alone. Everyone who does not do, (or eat), as everyone else does, experiences similar to some degree.

 

[Secret Chief]

the less subtle approach

Invite your friends round for a surprise meal. Serve up deep fried insects, horse meat offal and for an extra special treat - live monkey brains. Then have a discussion.

 

[SomeRandom]

Just say you’re vegetarian for ethical reasons. I’m sure most people will understand that thought process these days. Of course I don’t know your family but I know many “vege heads” and that’s the line they always use

 

[Jainarayan]

That is so unfortunate that your family is not supportive, or at the very least tolerant of your dietary choices. You are not alone. Everyone who does not do, (or eat), as everyone else does, experiences similar to some degree.

They’re old school, my parents were even more so. It was the generation and the times snd influences they were raised with.

 

[Secret Chief]

I haven’t had bacon in a long time anyway. Not particularly fond of it.

I love this stuff:
Rashers | THIS | Plant-Based Food

 

[ChristineM]

Fake bacon is prolly better than real bacon anyway.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

It is much easier to eat out without meat. There was a diner/restaurant we went to where we lived. They have a second one where we live now. They have plenty of veg choices, so yeah that was easy.

Definitely. I don’t judge what anyone else does (within reason and the law), and have no intention of getting high and mighty. In fact I hope it goes largely unnoticed like a silent odor-free fart.

Heh...made me laugh. I mean, ultimately, you can judge whomever you choose to. But in order to make your own life easier, and perhaps eventually build some understanding of your position, my experience is you need to take the higher ground. But...just like those stupid financial advice warnings...please note that you need to take your specific circumstances into account when accepting general advice....lol

A couple of them will, my sisters who have no filters will not understand. And that’s ok too. I just don’t appreciate being mocked in front of others, as often happens. We have a gathering coming up next month. My brother and sister-in-law from Arizona are coming to NJ. I don’t know if my Florida brother and sister-in-law are coming. If so it would be the first time in about four or five years the five of us would be together. When we have these it’s usually a buffet that my sister puts out. That will work for me, but it also includes “How come you didn’t have any meatballs? There’s sausage and peppers. The London broil came out very tender. There’s the gravy for the lasagna with sausage, meatballs and bracciole” (if it has meat it’s gravy, if it’s plain tomato sauce it sauce).

LMAO...I can picture it.

Side story time : My family is very quiet. I'm the noisy one, really. My wife's family, on the other hand, is like someone turned the volume up to 11. What they see as 'open', my family would see as 'intrusive'. There is good and bad to it. They're right there to help without even needing to ask for it. They're right there to annoy us, without even needing to ask for it. Heh.

Ultimately, though, I wouldn't change them. They wouldn't be 'them'. I just got better at rolling my eyes on some things, biting my tongue on others, and giving as good as I get the rest of the time. The last thing I'd ever do is give them a serious answer to something in a big group setting. It would be like throwing chum to the sharks. Those sort of discussions I hold for 1 on 1, or 1 on 2 conversations, maybe. There is some sort of strange group dynamic that demands they all talk loud and don't listen, unless it's to find reasons to make jokes at each other's expense, or pick at little mental scabs. Perhaps your family is similar?

 

[Jainarayan]

Just say you’re vegetarian for ethical reasons. I’m sure most people will understand that thought process these days. Of course I don’t know your family but I know many “vege heads” and that’s the line they always use

That is of course my reasoning. Tha problem is, and this may get a little psychological, I’m the youngest of the family with a large age gap between us, the only one to go to college, and considered to be spoiled. I feel resentment at times and get a feeling of “he thinks he’s better than us”. I admit I’m kind of sensitive to vibes and may see things that aren’t there. But having been occasionally called a spoiled brat is kind of a tip off.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Invite your friends round for a surprise meal. Serve up deep fried insects, horse meat offal and for an extra special treat - live monkey brains. Then have a discussion.

So...I've almost done the first 2, kinda...but 'live' monkey brains? You got me there...lol

 

[lewisnotmiller]

That is of course my reasoning. Tha problem is, and this may get a little psychological, I’m the youngest of the family with a large age gap between us, the only one to go to college, and considered to be spoiled. I feel resentment at times and get a feeling of “he thinks he’s better than us”. I admit I’m kind of sensitive to vibes and may see things that aren’t there. But having been occasionally called a spoiled brat is kind of a tip off.

Out of interest, have you ever tried working out what their motivation is in saying that?

 

[Secret Chief]

I use a lot of dairy... milk, butter, ghee, yogurt, cheese, so no problem there. I often use milk or yogurt, and now cottage cheese (the western version, i.e. curds and whey) for naivedya in puja. I think He got tired of the dried raisins and mixed nuts.

If a person is concerned about how animal "welfare" impacts upon their diet, they would possibly find it informative to look into the standard practices of the dairy and egg industries, specifically the treatment of the males (ie slaughter) and of the females (ie poor quality of life). The best dietary choice is an informed one.

 

[Secret Chief]

So...I've almost done the first 2, kinda...but 'live' monkey brains? You got me there...lol

Wanna see a picture?

 

[Jainarayan]

They're right there to help without even needing to ask for it. They're right there to annoy us, without even needing to ask for it. Heh.

In their defense my family is that way. Many people know about my finances due to losing my job last year and no prospects, except for officially retiring and applying for Social Security. I fell behind (timing wise) in paying my rent, which my landlord has been the best about. My first SS payment came in the middle of the month, as they all do now. I needed to “reset” the calendar so I could get my rent back on schedule until my first payment came. I started a gofundme which my family jumped to help with. They were very upset that it came to this. I said I would try to pay back as much as I could as I could. The answers were a resounding no, we’re family.

 

[JustGeorge]

I went vegetarian when I was 12, against my parent's very strong wishes. I felt like you, I think... I just couldn't do it. I was sobbing over my dinner... no one should feel like that over their meal. I got grounded. Mom stopped cooking for me(which was the best thing she ever did for me). Finally, they gave in, I was ungrounded, and life continued. Mom stopped caring. Dad went on for years. And then he went quite. And now he's almost vegetarian himself. For health reasons, though.

Knowing my family I’ll be going with Door #2... the less subtle approach. Lol I once passed on a London broil at my sister’s house. She made a mock bow and said “now you worship cows”. My family tends to mock a lot of things I do, say or believe, even at times saying “you’re weird”, where’d we find you?” and laugh.

I made a collage of the two photos to print and carry with me and show if it comes to it. I’m not crusading, just doing for me and my karma.

I've always been the oddball in my family... can you go with it? Play along? When the teasing begins, join in? When they pester, can you just give a silly reason, like "because I'm weird"?

Agreed. Like I said, I’m not crusading but I also don’t think it’s fair to offend others who don’t know. If I have people over for dinner (ahahahaha like that ever happens) I can say something to the effect “I’m making this or that”, and it would be veg.

If you're worried about offending others where they are the ones serving food, can you bring along your own bit of food, and just explain you have a dietary restriction without going into detail?

 

[Secret Chief]

I went vegetarian when I was 12, against my parent's very strong wishes. I felt like you, I think... I just couldn't do it. I was sobbing over my dinner... no one should feel like that over their meal. I got grounded. Mom stopped cooking for me(which was the best thing she ever did for me). Finally, they gave in, I was ungrounded, and life continued. Mom stopped caring. Dad went on for years. And then he went quite. And now he's almost vegetarian himself. For health reasons, though.



I've always been the oddball in my family... can you go with it? Play along? When the teasing begins, join in? When they pester, can you just give a silly reason, like "because I'm weird"?



If you're worried about offending others where they are the ones serving food, can you bring along your own bit of food, and just explain you have a dietary restriction without going into detail?

When I told my mum I was going veggie I think she expected me to die of malnutrition within a fortnight.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Wanna see a picture?

Yeah, so I'm gonna pass on that. I get the general idea based on a scene from Hannibal though. Kinda hard to unsee...!