The Blessed Lord said:
“Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead. Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor in the future shall any of us cease to be. That which pervades the entire body, know it to be indestructible. No one is able to destroy that imperishable soul. For the soul there is neither birth nor death at any time. It has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being. It is unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval. It does not die when the body dies. That which dwells in the body can never die. The soul does not feel pain or sorrow; it knows nothing of suffering.” - The Bhagavad Gita
Ziva, June 6, 2009 - September 9, 2022.
"The soul does not feel pain or sorrow; it knows nothing of suffering". No, but we embodied beings do. I am not a wise person, I am weak, I am hurting badly. I know the verses and I recite them repeatedly but I am not wise, I am weak.
She was 13, she had diabetes, was mostly blind. She began losing weight, her eating was becoming inconsistent and picky. Some days she ate like a Marine, other days she ate nothing. But she needed to eat to get her insulin. Some days we gave the insulin anyway at the regular time, sometimes a half dose.
Last week I saw ketones in her urine for the first time in three years. I thought it was a fluke because she was drinking water, peeing, eating some food and getting insulin. That should have eliminated the ketones. She was acting normally, though ... getting around the house, playing with her toys, cuddling with me in the recliner then falling asleep with me with a blanket. She particularly liked cuddling under my beard.
But I was getting increasingly "anxietous" (I made up that word) and getting a bad feeling. I went to work yesterday and was "anxietous" all day, expecting a call from my husband that something was wrong. In the morning I had to coax and plead with her to eat. She did eat some chicken from my fingers. But I was on edge. She always took a nap in the afternoon with my husband. When I came home from work he woke up and I didn't like the way she looked. I didn't see her breathing, I always looked closely at her breathing. He said she had just moved to change sleeping positions. I picked her up and got no response, she was gone. I cuddled her and cried. She was only slightly cool, so I want to think she waited for me so she could leave her body.
We took her to the vet in a blanket for cremation, along with her "quack quack", a little plush squeaky duck that was her current favorite toy. I put it in her arms so she could cuddle it. We'll get her ashes back next week. I feel like I got gut-punched. I knew this day was coming but I didn't expect it to be yesterday. Her brother left us last year, they were together since birth. I'm sure he's been waiting for her and watching over her, he was very protective of her.
oṃ tryámbakaṃ yajāmahe sugandhíṃ puṣṭi-vardhánam
urvārukam íva bandhánān mṛtyor mukṣīya mā 'mṛtā́t
oṁ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ
A prayer to Lord Shiva to remove our fear of death and grant us mokṣa:
"We sacrifice to Tryambaka [a name of Lord Shiva] the fragrant, increaser of prosperity.
Like a cucumber from its stem, might I be freed from death, not from deathlessness."
“Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead. Never was there a time when I did not exist, nor you, nor in the future shall any of us cease to be. That which pervades the entire body, know it to be indestructible. No one is able to destroy that imperishable soul. For the soul there is neither birth nor death at any time. It has not come into being, does not come into being, and will not come into being. It is unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval. It does not die when the body dies. That which dwells in the body can never die. The soul does not feel pain or sorrow; it knows nothing of suffering.” - The Bhagavad Gita
Ziva, June 6, 2009 - September 9, 2022.
"The soul does not feel pain or sorrow; it knows nothing of suffering". No, but we embodied beings do. I am not a wise person, I am weak, I am hurting badly. I know the verses and I recite them repeatedly but I am not wise, I am weak.
She was 13, she had diabetes, was mostly blind. She began losing weight, her eating was becoming inconsistent and picky. Some days she ate like a Marine, other days she ate nothing. But she needed to eat to get her insulin. Some days we gave the insulin anyway at the regular time, sometimes a half dose.
Last week I saw ketones in her urine for the first time in three years. I thought it was a fluke because she was drinking water, peeing, eating some food and getting insulin. That should have eliminated the ketones. She was acting normally, though ... getting around the house, playing with her toys, cuddling with me in the recliner then falling asleep with me with a blanket. She particularly liked cuddling under my beard.
But I was getting increasingly "anxietous" (I made up that word) and getting a bad feeling. I went to work yesterday and was "anxietous" all day, expecting a call from my husband that something was wrong. In the morning I had to coax and plead with her to eat. She did eat some chicken from my fingers. But I was on edge. She always took a nap in the afternoon with my husband. When I came home from work he woke up and I didn't like the way she looked. I didn't see her breathing, I always looked closely at her breathing. He said she had just moved to change sleeping positions. I picked her up and got no response, she was gone. I cuddled her and cried. She was only slightly cool, so I want to think she waited for me so she could leave her body.
We took her to the vet in a blanket for cremation, along with her "quack quack", a little plush squeaky duck that was her current favorite toy. I put it in her arms so she could cuddle it. We'll get her ashes back next week. I feel like I got gut-punched. I knew this day was coming but I didn't expect it to be yesterday. Her brother left us last year, they were together since birth. I'm sure he's been waiting for her and watching over her, he was very protective of her.
oṃ tryámbakaṃ yajāmahe sugandhíṃ puṣṭi-vardhánam
urvārukam íva bandhánān mṛtyor mukṣīya mā 'mṛtā́t
oṁ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ śāntiḥ
A prayer to Lord Shiva to remove our fear of death and grant us mokṣa:
"We sacrifice to Tryambaka [a name of Lord Shiva] the fragrant, increaser of prosperity.
Like a cucumber from its stem, might I be freed from death, not from deathlessness."
