Flankerl
Well-Known Member
lol thats what my boyfriend always says
When the first date should be? Considering my experience it doesnt matter what parents think.
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How old should a your kid be for first date?
- Thread starter ninerbuff
- Start date
lol thats what my boyfriend always says
When the first date should be? Considering my experience it doesnt matter what parents think.
ninerbuff
godless wonder
I'm inquiring about dating age for a kid and this is all going on right now.........
CA Senate Votes to Make Sexting Grounds for School Expulsion: LAist
CA Senate Votes to Make Sexting Grounds for School Expulsion: LAist
I recall reading that an actor named Brandon de Wilde said a man should start dating when he has $5,000 in the bank.
I guess, in other words, today that might mean when a man has enough money for a down payment for a house in the bank.
So, should a girl start to date a guy if he does not have a bank account?
The Sum of Awe
Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Realistically, I think around 12, because thats when they begin to understand things more.
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber
I hated that my mom would not let me date until I was 16. It's just stupid (and frustrating) for a teen to be halfway through high school before a parent allows any sort of dating.
Really I don't think it's so much just age, but what sort of behavior is allowed at a certain age. The ages 10-14 there is really nothing wrong kids holding hands, having long phone conversations, some kissing (not tonguing), and supervised outings. And then from 14 on, you can't censor or limit what they hear, see, say, and do at school or at friends houses, and rather than putting up limits and restrictions I believe it is more productive to instill a since of responsibilities, expectations, consequences, and realistic consequences that can happen (such as pregnancy and STDs) to deal with the bombardment of peer-pressure that overlaps into dating and sex.
Really I don't think it's so much just age, but what sort of behavior is allowed at a certain age. The ages 10-14 there is really nothing wrong kids holding hands, having long phone conversations, some kissing (not tonguing), and supervised outings. And then from 14 on, you can't censor or limit what they hear, see, say, and do at school or at friends houses, and rather than putting up limits and restrictions I believe it is more productive to instill a since of responsibilities, expectations, consequences, and realistic consequences that can happen (such as pregnancy and STDs) to deal with the bombardment of peer-pressure that overlaps into dating and sex.
blackout
Violet.
Forgot all about this thread.
as for #2, I never said my children should or will ever share everything with me,
(and why would I want them to?:areyoucra)
but they know they CAN be completely honest with me about anything sexual
without any morality judgements, or taboos, or awkward weirdness on my part.
as for #3,
Discussions of the necessary importance of birthcontrol,
and condom use, and all the repricussions of not doing so,
are a standard thing in my house.
Often such conversations come up as we watch and discuss movies together.
So anyway, "WHEN" they are in need of birthcontrol,
will have to do with WHEN they begin dating.
ie, 'When' birthcontrol is necessary, IS necessarilly before.
They clearly know this too...
and I have not raised little wild animals with no self control...
#4.
I most certainly can tell you,
I will NEVER EVER be raising grandchildren.
There is abortion and adoption,
or move out and raise your baby yourSelf,
or with a partner.
If despite efforts of effective doubled birthcontrol
I myself ever get pregnant?
I will get an abortion.
I am unequivocably NOT raising another child/baby.
I don't care WHOSE it is.
And they know it.
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blackout
Violet.
Discussions with boys
need to include CHILD SUPPORT.
If my son's GF's mom
does not go out and get her Birthcontrol,
HE NEEDS to make sure HE gets her there,
or finds some way for her to get to a doctor,
and pay for the BC.
While I would not directly involve mySelf at all,
I would "gift" my son B-day money or something,
to do with whatever he wishes.
(and of course, I clearly expect that he himSelf,
always uses a condom, while he is a minor,
living in my home. Later, when he's on his own,
if he wants to live dangerously/stupidly
that will be his own business.
Though it would make me sad,
as I love him so very much.)
need to include CHILD SUPPORT.
If my son's GF's mom
does not go out and get her Birthcontrol,
HE NEEDS to make sure HE gets her there,
or finds some way for her to get to a doctor,
and pay for the BC.
While I would not directly involve mySelf at all,
I would "gift" my son B-day money or something,
to do with whatever he wishes.
(and of course, I clearly expect that he himSelf,
always uses a condom, while he is a minor,
living in my home. Later, when he's on his own,
if he wants to live dangerously/stupidly
that will be his own business.
Though it would make me sad,
as I love him so very much.)
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blackout
Violet.
I really don't think it's any less reasonable
to expect your children to refrain from sex
without birthcontrol,
than it is to say, expect them to refrain from driving
without a drivers licence,
or
to refrain from doing stupid or illegal things
(like sexting) which could potentially
bring the law (or their social/work life) down on their head.
I think that a degree of PRACTICAL personal responsibility
SHOULD be expected of our children.
We don't want their lives coming down on their heads.
You explain real life CONSEQUENCES.
You EXPECT them to be SMART enough, WISE enough,
to do (or not do) what will benefit them.
For example, I allow my grade school kids to swear at home.
I do not punish them for it.
Yet they know they are NOT to swear at school,
or in front of other kids, or parents,
and I have clearly outlined WHY.
What the potential reprecussions are of doing such.
And they get it.
They do say things at home,
that would get most kids grounded,
(or smacked?... or sent to their room...)
but never do so in public.
They're not stupid.
They want friends,
and they do not want trouble at school.
They are considered amongst the NICEST,
most Well Behaved kids in school.
(because they truly are :rainbow1
Teachers and parents, and even kids,
comment on this frequently.
They understand 'appropriateness', consideration, consequences, and rules.
As well, it doesn't hurt
that they feel no need to go out and do what they're not allowed to do at home.
Every parent has to pick their own battles.
I am a consistant pacifist.
to expect your children to refrain from sex
without birthcontrol,
than it is to say, expect them to refrain from driving
without a drivers licence,
or
to refrain from doing stupid or illegal things
(like sexting) which could potentially
bring the law (or their social/work life) down on their head.
I think that a degree of PRACTICAL personal responsibility
SHOULD be expected of our children.
We don't want their lives coming down on their heads.
You explain real life CONSEQUENCES.
You EXPECT them to be SMART enough, WISE enough,
to do (or not do) what will benefit them.
For example, I allow my grade school kids to swear at home.
I do not punish them for it.
Yet they know they are NOT to swear at school,
or in front of other kids, or parents,
and I have clearly outlined WHY.
What the potential reprecussions are of doing such.
And they get it.
They do say things at home,
that would get most kids grounded,
(or smacked?... or sent to their room...)
but never do so in public.
They're not stupid.
They want friends,
and they do not want trouble at school.
They are considered amongst the NICEST,
most Well Behaved kids in school.
(because they truly are :rainbow1
Teachers and parents, and even kids,
comment on this frequently.
They understand 'appropriateness', consideration, consequences, and rules.
As well, it doesn't hurt
that they feel no need to go out and do what they're not allowed to do at home.
Every parent has to pick their own battles.
I am a consistant pacifist.
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ninerbuff
godless wonder
This is pretty much how I feel about it too. Although times change, people really don't. However how society and peers accept behaviors will have a lot of influence on some decision making. Like the gap between what my parents believed and what I heard, I'm sure I will run in with my daughter when the time comes. All I can do for now is instill in her values of responsibility, self awareness, and expectation as you said.
Neophyte
Miranda Kerr Worship
Boys...whenever, girls 60 if they are mature enough 75 if not...anyone comes near mine though and no one will ever know what happened to them.
I am sure you all have heard to meet the young man at the front door with a shotgun...I disagree. That is highly immature...lol. Befriend him some...make your daughter want to bring him to meet you. This way she doesn't stop bringing them home after the first one. Secretly stalk him and one day when he is alone take care of the problem. This way your daughter will keep them coming by the house. If you do the shotgun at the door for the first one then she will hide the rest. So much easier my way...
I am sure you all have heard to meet the young man at the front door with a shotgun...I disagree. That is highly immature...lol. Befriend him some...make your daughter want to bring him to meet you. This way she doesn't stop bringing them home after the first one. Secretly stalk him and one day when he is alone take care of the problem. This way your daughter will keep them coming by the house. If you do the shotgun at the door for the first one then she will hide the rest. So much easier my way...
