Modern relationships scare me...no deep emotional and spiritual connection, no responsibility...Married, divorced....I want to know how could you understand that you have found the right person? Should I just feel it? How to be on the safe side here and make the right decision? (Because I view marriage as a lifetime journey, not a 2-year challenge).
Do you believe that love can last till "death do us part"? Or is eternal love just a fiction? What makes a marriage successful?
Too many questions, I know
Would appreciate your thoughts on the subject
I think what you're asking for has already been answered by person's in this thread who have a long term marriage. Though, not sure if those are "modern relationships" if they started decades ago when hooking up was (or is) different than today.
As a single person that has thought long and hard on this topic, plus has spiritual awareness of Love, I'd like to add the following.
There's actual Love and there's special love. Special love is the type of love you find in someone else, and what you feel they offer to you.
Actual Love is what you give/share in any relationship (with literally anyone) that is expression of who you are, and/or who you wish to be.
I would have zero problem presenting wall of text on special love, but to keep it short with what you are asking, I would say there is zero chance of special love being eternal, and is a fiction if it is presented that way. Special love isn't actually love, but is love distorted. It takes what is the essence of you and places it outside of you, thus you are now lacking that, and the 'right' person can provide you that, if you do the right things (by them).
Thing is, actual Love is who you are, so not really possible to be in a relationship where only special love is occurring, or at work. It would be a mixture, but if overlaying the fictional narrative of "till death do us part" it can cloud own judgment.
In the successful marriages noted on this thread (so far), it is obvious in my reading that the fictional is no longer sought. In the fictional version, a fight or strong disagreement is enough to suggest this isn't the right/perfect one. Yet, in reality of marriage, how you (and the partner) approach the fight can truly make the bond stronger. A sense of forgiveness matters more than a sense of righteousness in one's firm position during the argument. Like with family and friends, you gotta be willing to let that firm righteousness go (from own mindset) if there is desire to be ongoing relationship with the person. Such that when you walk away from the argument you realize (perhaps days later), this is a person that deals with my crap effectively and I am willing to let go and let the relationship teach me things I may be too stubborn to overcome on my own.
Perhaps take what I'm saying with grain of salt, as again I think the responses from the married people are what you are asking about and answer what I read as being really sought in OP inquiry. I would just say that actual Love is lifelong journey, while marriage is perhaps best filtered as challenge that is met with periodic check-ins, foremost with your own self, about where you are at. Being truly honest with your own self first. And then sharing that in loving way with your partner, who if they are in it for the long haul will honor your honesty and let you know they are with you to support you during all challenges, and to celebrate the joyful moments, together.
