How Do Disagreements Affect You?

[Revoltingest]

So you are talking about the reactions that others have to me? Not how I react to them? That is why I chose a cute little bunny as an avatar. To establish a warm and friendly persona so that others will not get mad. I think the more aggressive the image, the more likely it is to set someone off.

I would not use my own picture. I am not trying to start a war.

I switched to this kind & sophisticated looking avatar for the same reason.

 

[Revoltingest]

When I offer wisdom wrapped in tough love it is often mistaken for abuse.

No good deed goes unpunished.

 

[etong]

If your a liberal, it's a "your a fascist", if it's a conservative, it's a "agree to disagree"

 

[Terry Sampson]

Bad reactions are about the person having them, not you.

The f*** they are!!!!

 

[Quintessence]

Disagreement isn't what frustrates me. It's poor (or disingenuous) communication. This can happen whether or not various parties (dis)agree with each other.

I didn't really become aware of how poor many people's communications skills until relatively recently. I'm not sure how I kept the blinders on that long on this problem, but once I started teaching in a context where I had to be the one evaluating student written assignments, they came off really fast. Something as simple as a ten page research paper is, apparently, hard for your average undergraduate. It shouldn't be. It really, really shouldn't be. And if your average college student can't write a good ten page research paper, expecting good exchanges on a topic as complex and nuanced as religion on a recreational web forum is...
aaaah... ahahaha... bwahahahaha!

Uh huh. Yeah....

It does sometimes happen around here, though. Good communication, that is.

 

[BSM1]

I disagree that you will.

Get off my lawn...

 

[sun rise]

Get off my lawn...

We have to build bypasses.

 

[BSM1]

We have to build bypasses.

NIMBY!

 

[Audie]

Disagreements don't effect me at all..... I simply hunt them down and maul them until they are more agreeable

friendly bear. nice nice.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Is it frustrating?
Does this lead to anger?
I ask cuz I notice some people get really abusive.
(Even I manage to offend people at times.)

I get passionate, but I am not necessarily angry. I very, very rarely get angry. I am talking extreme rarity. And even then, when I am angry, I am usually not engaged in argument - I don't allow it. I also make it a priority to never say anything that is only insult. If there is insult implied/used, it has to come along with an actual point made, and be entirely related to the point.

In the end, I end up realizing I enjoyed myself immensely during a disagreement, as long as I didn't get sucker-punched, of course. I once even came back at my Father-in-law, ON CHRISTMAS, with logic, reasoning and a crap-load of questions when he tried (again) to get me to consider conversion to Christianity. He thought I was angry with him... but I had a blast. Honestly.

 

[Road Less Traveled]

If anyone were to annoy me, I’d be allowing them power over me. Although it can be troubling seeing someone’s character and nature a certain way, because even if they have zero effects on me, I can only imagine the effects that they have on many others online or in their personal lives.

I have a few friends where we can unload on one another, disagree on anything, talk about all of the hard things and disturbing things in life, verbally say whatever we’d like to each other, no matter how vile.... take no offense and laugh at ourselves and each other about it. Perhaps that’s just because we know each other.

No one is under any obligation to have to respond to anyone, or try to satiate another with proof or evidence of anything. I think some know when they are just speaking to a wall, and just stop with no hard feelings. Some know that they are speaking to a wall yet are very triggered. I think that some also know all of the different tactics that will used in advance, and in general already know what another will say. Predictable programming.

I think that many get triggered nerves. In my perception, the best thing that anyone can do is to just not respond to the triggered nervy folks. Let them have the last words and self glory.

 

[Ellen Brown]

Is it frustrating?
Does this lead to anger?
I ask cuz I notice some people get really abusive.
(Even I manage to offend people at times.)

Growing up, if I disagreed, it often led to being beaten. So, these days, in person, not so much. On line, I can be very snotty.

 

[Revoltingest]

Growing up, if I disagreed, it often led to being beaten. So, these days, in person, not so much. On line, I can be very snotty.

Snotty...wasn't he the Chief Engineer on the Enterprise?

 

[Jollybear]

Is it frustrating?
Does this lead to anger?
I ask cuz I notice some people get really abusive.
(Even I manage to offend people at times.)

They must agree with me because im right and there wrong.

 

[Revoltingest]

They must agree with me because im right and there wrong.

You mean "they're wrong".

 

[Jollybear]

You mean "they're wrong".

Yes, your right, lol

 

[BSM1]

Snotty...wasn't he the Chief Engineer on the Enterprise?

Brings to mind that eternal line:
"Sniff me up, Snotty..." (Aye, Capt'n)

 

[Sunstone]

RF is an entertainment medium (with occasionally some educational value), I don't understand why anyone would actually get annoyed about what other people say.

I agree with you that RF is primarily an entertainment forum. With some exceptions, most of the people here are here to be entertained. Today, gratuitous anger has become a socially acceptable way of entertaining oneself. By "gratuitous anger", I mean getting angry for the sake of the entertainment value of feeling angry. It seems to increase in popularity each year.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

For me, the problem is not about disagreeing, it's almost always about not being able to find a way to address the disagreement. In this forum, that is almost always about not being able to find any common ground from which to approach the issue. Matters of science that conflict with whatever scripture is the most obvious case in point. Matters of moral and ethical reason are often worse.

In truth, I genuinely want to continue learning and growing, but I have to say that doesn't happen here very much. My favourite example of the moral and ethical is the punishment of David (for getting Uriah the Hittite killed after he knocked up his wife Bathsheba), by killing their son, slowly and painfully, as the Bible describes. I have asked people if they would defend their own father, their President, their government, their king, or anyone else for doing such a thing...and after all have replied "absolutely not" change their tune instantly when asked, then why would you defend God for doing it?

Well, that simply points to the obvious -- you cannot reason when the topic is religion. There are too many constraints on what you are allowed to think about where God is concerned, and therefore all that's left is to fall back on tarnished apologetics that make me cringe. Ever really, really read William Laine Craig, famous for the "brilliance" of his apologetics? They're appalling, in too many cases!

 

[siti]

Actually, I find agreement frustrating. Someone agrees with you, there's just no where to go with that. Sometimes I'll take a position just because I know a lot of people will disagree with it.

No sense in getting angry with people you only know from online. Not much reason to get angry with people in RL either unless you have a specific purpose behind it.

I agree!