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How can we stop bullying online?

Discussion in 'Health & Healing' started by Seeker of White Light, Dec 9, 2021.

  1. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    This is something that are close to my heart, and I was hoping to gain some good feedback from RF members. Being online on forums and reading article about online bullying, I was hoping to either start a online anti-bullying organization or in some way work for free for already started groups.

    Do you have experience with such work or groups yourself?
     
  2. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    My best advice is to just try to help those affected, rather than focusing on trying to eradicate the problem, as I've seen people have very little success "trying to change the internet", and often drawing more ridicule to themselves trying to do so.

    Also, while online bullying might be bad, it's kind of a niche subject - that is, not including real life bullying as well, as well as the self esteem issues women face on some social media sites due to body image.

    That's not to say niche subjects are a bad thing to focus on either, but it's something to think about - that is, what subjects exactly to focus on and which to exclude.
     
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  3. Twilight Hue

    Twilight Hue Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.

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    Get tough. Develop some teflon and avoid any instigators or meet them head on.
     
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  4. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    A lot of good advice @Snow White :) Thank you. I am already in coordination with anti bully groups where I live :)
     
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  5. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    Why should anyone accept being bullied? I dont speak of my self in this OP when it comes to being bullied, I speak about those who do not have any safetynet behind them, who are bullied.

    And no, bullying is never ok
     
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  6. pearl

    pearl Well-Known Member

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    More than likely many whom bully online or in forums were bullies in school.
    That's where the effort to stop bullying to begin, at home.
     
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  7. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    Agree with you
     
  8. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    I would say to think about what your goal is and how to achieve it. Eliminating bullying entirely is probably not realistic. But to decrease its effect and help those affected by it certainly is.

    Education will only go so far: the bullies know that they are bullies (for the most part) and enjoy making others miserable. Those around them usually know they are bullies and understand there are negative effects.

    The question is what to do about it. That means asking social media sites to develop and enforce an anti-bullying policy. Both aspects of this are struggles: developing a policy that also allows for certain freedoms of expression is harder than it looks. One job you might do is research what has been done and find models for other companies to adopt.

    Then, enforcement is key. Who decides who is and is not a bully? Who decides what is going too far? What are the punishments? What is the escalation process? What resources are devoted to finding and dealing with bullies? Does the site need to actively seek them out, or does it rely on reporting by members?

    Then, of course, you have the question of who in the organization has the power to decide about such policies. How do you find them, educate them, and get them to commit? How do you make it so that they want to devote their time and energy to such a policy?

    On the other side, how do you find victims of bullying and help them? Usually they are embarrassed by the bullying itself and are not as likely to reach out for help. What resources can you provide to let them know that help is available and encourage them to report abuse? And, for that matter, what resources do *you* have available to help them? Can you provide counseling? financial assistance? alternative social media?

    Just a few thoughts from the top of my head.

    GOOD LUCK!
     
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  9. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    @Polymath257 this helped a lot :)
    Thank you for sharing
     
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  10. Twilight Hue

    Twilight Hue Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.

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    Your correct. Bullying isn't okay. What I'm saying is you need to develop yourself to withstand bullies by getting tough yourself alongside with avoidance.

    If your not as tough and resilient, your in for a pretty miserable life when facing and reminiscing such experiences.

    So get tough.
     
  11. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    Actually it is the bullies who should change. Not the one already laying down.
    I do not know if you ever been truly bullied in your life and know how it feels to be mentally stabbed every day for year's?
    Personally I have 12 years behind me as a victim of being bullied every day. my skin is tough enough to handle it, but not everyone are.
    And yes RF is a difficult place for those who are weak, I struggled for a long time my self here. But enough is enough.

    It is time bullies are stopped and they are the ones who need to change.

    Luckily many forums has the block choice. And it should be used more. Until bullies has nobody to bully anymore.
     
  12. Twilight Hue

    Twilight Hue Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.

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    I've been hideously bullied particularly in school settings, and bullies dont typically change. That's the reality.

    You must do the changes yourself by either getting tough and resilient or just keep running away.

    Being a scared bunny rabbit isn't the way to live. It's miserable.

    So get tough.
     
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  13. Polymath257

    Polymath257 Think & Care
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    The unfortunate reality is that the bullies *won't* change. They enjoy being the bully. Whether they *should* is rather irrelevant if they *don't*.

    The only thing you can do is make it harder for them to bully and to reduce the effect of them doing their nastiness. One benefit is that this will reduce the reward that they get.

    I would also point out that the bullies won't take your efforts lying down. They won't be passive and they *will* start to attack you. That does mean you have to develop a thick skin and be able to deal with the psychological effects of them going after you.

    If you can't do that, then you may be ill-suited for the public side of such a campaign. It may be better to be someone behind the scenes with those more psychologically able to be in the front.

    RF has an anti-bullying rule that we actively enforce. Many places do not. If RF is difficult for you in this regard, the real world is going to be much, much worse.
     
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  14. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    The thing that was difficult for me, even up to this year ( I admit that I struggled a lot in RF this year) was that I kept telling my self to have compassion for the bullies, and I still do of course, now I started to give them **** back, it seems they like the poo flinging.
     
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  15. lostwanderingsoul

    lostwanderingsoul Well-Known Member

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    The biggest problem with online bullying is that the person's identity is hidden. You can use fake names and only your online name is known. Maybe we should require some way to know the true identity of anyone online. Why let people hide behind fake names and do things they would not do if their true identity was known?
     
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  16. Seeker of White Light

    Seeker of White Light Think before you speak....so stay silent.

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    I totally agree, using our own name will make it a tiny bit more difficult to say those extra nasty comments about others.
     
  17. Trailblazer

    Trailblazer Veteran Member

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    I used to have a problem with being bullied on forums but I have not had a problem for a very long time, and I think one reason is because I stand up to bullies, as @Twilight Hue suggested, so bullies soon learn that they cannot bully me anymore.
     
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