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{Hindus only} Getting over religious conditioning.

StarryNightshade

Spiritually confused Jew
Premium Member
For those of us to came to Hinduism from another religious tradition (particularly western), have you gotten over all of the beliefs you've held before? If so, how did you do it?

Ever since I've been going through my Hindu existential crisis, a lot of what I was raised with has been creeping back into my mind. Particularly that there is hellfire for when I die, because I "didn't do it right". Or that God is constantly angry with me for screwing up. Or that me being gay and non-celibate is going to be punished when I die.

I fully believe that every action, deed, and thought will have a reaction (whether immediate or further down the road), but I refuse to believe that there is a kind of cosmic judge counting all of the things I do and then weighing out which ones were right and wrong.

Still, for the past few months, this is has exactly what it feels like.
 

Terese

Mangalam Pundarikakshah
Staff member
Premium Member
You know full well that Maa Durga is nothing like the Abrahamic God. This hellfire stuff is quite ingrained in you. Almost makes me glad i was an atheist. However, why have you been thinking of this stuff? You are not Christian.
 

Jainarayan

ॐ नमो भगवते वासुदेवाय
Staff member
Premium Member
For those of us to came to Hinduism from another religious tradition (particularly western), have you gotten over all of the beliefs you've held before? If so, how did you do it?

Kāla: time. I still have a few hang ups and superstitions here and there but nothing crippling like I had. And boy did I have some!It takes time, but they fade. ;)
I refuse to believe that there is a kind of cosmic judge counting all of the things I do and then weighing out which ones were right and wrong.

Chitragupta?

Chitragupta.jpg

Just sayin'. :p
 

Fireside_Hindu

Jai Lakshmi Maa
I went form Catholic to Agnostic to Hindu so I had a bit of a "cooling off" period after finally giving up Christianity. Interestingly, the main reason I abandoned it was because of the concept of Hell. I was sick of being afraid all the time. I figured if God was so temperamental, it didn't matter how good I was if I died on one of his bad days.

I didn't have any trouble carrying over any old religious baggage, but social and cultural baggage (most of which I think is actually good) has come along with me.
 

StarryNightshade

Spiritually confused Jew
Premium Member
You know full well that Maa Durga is nothing like the Abrahamic God. This hellfire stuff is quite ingrained in you. Almost makes me glad i was an atheist. However, why have you been thinking of this stuff? You are not Christian.

When you are raised with it and it's prominent in the only two regions of the country where you have lived, it's hard to fully shake it off.

That, and I have heard of Hindus who use hell threats against those they think are wrong.
 

StarryNightshade

Spiritually confused Jew
Premium Member
I didn't have any trouble carrying over any old religious baggage, but social and cultural baggage (most of which I think is actually good) has come along with me.

I think a lot of it is cultural as well as being raised in a certain religious tradition. I've only lived in both the midwest and southern United States, and the kind of Christianity where hell is a huge deal is very much ingrained in the culture.
 

Jainarayan

ॐ नमो भगवते वासुदेवाय
Staff member
Premium Member
Is he a regional Deva? if so, he doesn't count. :p

Well, he's Lord Brahmā's son, and Yama's assistant. So I'd guess he's kind of important. :D His name is a Wiki link. Seriously, I don't put too much stock into a lot of the myths. Some of them are just plain contradictory, if not colorful at least.
 

Ingledsva

HEATHEN ALASKAN
For those of us to came to Hinduism from another religious tradition (particularly western), have you gotten over all of the beliefs you've held before? If so, how did you do it?

Ever since I've been going through my Hindu existential crisis, a lot of what I was raised with has been creeping back into my mind. Particularly that there is hellfire for when I die, because I "didn't do it right". Or that God is constantly angry with me for screwing up. Or that me being gay and non-celibate is going to be punished when I die.

I fully believe that every action, deed, and thought will have a reaction (whether immediate or further down the road), but I refuse to believe that there is a kind of cosmic judge counting all of the things I do and then weighing out which ones were right and wrong.

Still, for the past few months, this is has exactly what it feels like.

Why not just think of it like the ancient Egyptians. At death standing before the scales, - does your good equal the feather of Maat?

The heart, the seat of intellect and emotion, was seen as part of the Egyptian soul. If the heart was found to be lighter or equal in weight to the feather of Maat (truth and Justice,) the deceased had led a good life and would go on.

Or does the bad outweigh the Good? If so, just balance the scale before death. Do good things for yourself and others.

What does your intellect and emotion tell you? That is all that counts.

*
 
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Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
I have rural written all over me. Christianity, definitely not, as Dad was verging on anti-Christian. But yeah, I have a psychological need to go for a drive in the country a couple times a year. Some of it, like mine, you don't need to give up because there is no conflict. In India on pilgrimage from town to town, I'd get the driver to stop so I could go 'inspect' crops. It was a break, interesting for all around, and quite educational. I got so I could recognise a few things from the road.

But yeah, that conflicting stuff ... I really feel for people who have to go through that. My sampradaya's thoughts on it are to replace it overwhelmingly with the new, in psychological terms, reprogramming the subconscious mind. Just put so much new colour in your aura that the old one is really faint.

That is mainly why we go 'all in' so to speak.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Starry, many Indian born Hindus have very similar problems, but it got there from a different route.
Any that went to Catholic schools, or were just in and around more 'foreign' mindsets have the same problem, yet don't see it so clearly as westerners like you do. For example, some of my friends here (Sri Lankans who went to Christian schools) actually think that moksha and heaven are synonyms. So they'll say things like 'He's in moksha now' about a deceased loved one. They got it from the 'good father and nuns' at school. You and I both know heaven and moksha are entirely different concepts.
 

Terese

Mangalam Pundarikakshah
Staff member
Premium Member
Starry, many Indian born Hindus have very similar problems, but it got there from a different route.
Any that went to Catholic schools, or were just in and around more 'foreign' mindsets have the same problem, yet don't see it so clearly as westerners like you do. For example, some of my friends here (Sri Lankans who went to Christian schools) actually think that moksha and heaven are synonyms. So they'll say things like 'He's in moksha now' about a deceased loved one. They got it from the 'good father and nuns' at school. You and I both know heaven and moksha are entirely different concepts.
Rather odd saying.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Rather odd saying.
Yes, no kidding. But you have to dialogue or just be around immigrant Hindus for quite a while before you pick up such idiosyncrasies. My friends are quite full of surprises some days. In the beginning, 40 years back, I put them on the Hindu pedestal. My mistake, but over time we learned better. Really depends a ton on individuals though.
 

StarryNightshade

Spiritually confused Jew
Premium Member
I put them on the Hindu pedestal.

I sort of did the same thing, but with those whom I'm in association with.

I had the idea that they were so far along in their faith and that if I wasn't as devoted as them, then I was doing something wrong. I essentially tried to force myself into a devotional mindset.

Of course, I still highly respect them and go to them when I'm in need or with questions, but I also realize that my journey is not the same as theirs. That I don't have to emulate them in every single way in order to have devotion in my life.
 

George-ananda

Advaita Vedanta, Theosophy, Spiritualism
Premium Member
For those of us to came to Hinduism from another religious tradition (particularly western), have you gotten over all of the beliefs you've held before?
Yes.
If so, how did you do it?
By fully understanding WHY I have my current beliefs.

Ever since I've been going through my Hindu existential crisis, a lot of what I was raised with has been creeping back into my mind. Particularly that there is hellfire for when I die, because I "didn't do it right". Or that God is constantly angry with me for screwing up. Or that me being gay and non-celibate is going to be punished when I die.

I fully believe that every action, deed, and thought will have a reaction (whether immediate or further down the road), but I refuse to believe that there is a kind of cosmic judge counting all of the things I do and then weighing out which ones were right and wrong.

Still, for the past few months, this is has exactly what it feels like.
I understand. All I can say is to develop more self-confidence in your current beliefs.
 

Vinayaka

devotee
Premium Member
Common mistake, Starry. I still see it. First impressions can be ridiculously misleading. But it goes both ways too. One odd assumption that my immigrant Hindu friends make about me is that I must have been raised Christian, and that all westerners eat meat. Logical assumption from that POV, as in India 99% of people declare a religion, and there are very few 'nones'. When I took a friend to a western style vegetarian restaurant, he was quite surprised.
 

Fireside_Hindu

Jai Lakshmi Maa
[QUOTE="Fireside_Hindu, post: 4745135, member: 42245"

I didn't have any trouble carrying over any old religious baggage....[/QUOTE]

Actually, correction. That was sort of a lie.

One thing I can think of that I carried around for a while :

After leaving Catholicism, for many years, I felt incredibly uncomfortable going into churches. It could have been residual guilt; feeling like I was being dishonest (I would still go with family members at times). It could have also been resentment. Things started to change once I began developing my devotion within Hinduism. I don't know why, but my growing confidence with my faith allowed me to let go of whatever that ill will might have been and now when I go into a church (For certain Catholic holidays - husband is Catholic) I feel absolutely at ease. Not because I find meaning there, because I don't, but for kind of the opposite reason -I know it has no meaning for me so I don't have to be angry with it, struggle against it, deny it -because it has ceased to influence how I relate to God. I can sing bad Christmas songs during mass once a year because I remember them from childhood and it reminds me of other good things in the past.

I don't know if there's any wisdom in there for you, Starry, except that as other have said, it takes time. Perhaps as your devotion grows and your path becomes more clear, the old baggage will gradually drop off by itself.
 

Vinidra

Jai Mata Di!
I think a lot of it is cultural as well as being raised in a certain religious tradition. I've only lived in both the midwest and southern United States, and the kind of Christianity where hell is a huge deal is very much ingrained in the culture.

The South is its own kind of weird, for sure.

(I can say this: I was born here and never left.)

On the other hand, I've learned that conversations with Mata-ji calm all doubts eventually. She's good and reassuring to everyone, even funny-talking rednecks like me. ;)

Seriously, though, I hope you can get it all sorted out soon, if only for your own peace of mind. :heart:
 

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
Ever since I've been going through my Hindu existential crisis, a lot of what I was raised with has been creeping back into my mind. Particularly that there is hellfire for when I die, because I "didn't do it right". Or that God is constantly angry with me for screwing up. Or that me being gay and non-celibate is going to be punished when I die.
That is because you have not tasted 'advaita'. 'Advaita' is the Mjölnir, Thor's hammer, which dispenses with all these crises in one stroke.

images
Chitragupta
Chitragupta is not a judge. He is the account keeper. Even Yama is not arbitrary, he has to go by the rules. It finally comes down to our deeds.

Chitragupta is considered the ancestor of all Kayasthas. Kayasthas in India are supposed to be good administrators. I think there is a connection between 'kayasthas' (kaya + sthah, situated in the human body, other things being not that important) and the 'charvaks'. Kayasthas love non-vegetarian food, liquor, music, dance, good life in general.

"Kayastha is a caste or community of Hindus originating in India. Kayasthas are considered to be members of the literate scribe caste, and have traditionally acted as keepers of records and public accounts, writers, and administrators of the state.

Kayasthas have historically occupied the highest government offices, serving as ministers and advisors during early medieval Indian kingdoms and the Mughal Empire, and holding important administrative positions during the British Raj. In modern times, Kayasthas have attained success in politics, as well as in the arts and various professional fields." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kayastha

 
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