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hey Mothers :) i have questions for you

Discussion in 'Family and Personal Living' started by .lava, Jul 10, 2010.

  1. .lava

    .lava Veteran Member

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    hi :) i am curious about how you felt during pregnancy, how your emotions changed, how it felt like to hold your baby in your arms first time ...etc. basically, how did it feel like to become a mother? are you a better woman or a better person now thanks to your experience as a mother?

    .
     
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  2. DallasApple

    DallasApple Depends Upon My Mood..

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    Umm..I felt like I was an alien when I was pregnant.

    And when I had my children for the first time in my arms I felt like a marshmallow and then a tiger..LOL!!!

    Being a mother has changed me in so many ways I cant even start to name the ways..Especially because its not over yet..A "work in progress".

    Love

    Dallas
     
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  3. GalS

    GalS Member

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    With my daughter I felt and looked like a cow by the time I was 6 months pregnant. I gained almost 20kg by the end of my pregnancy, the oh so beautiful stretchmarks, and peeing every 20 minutes by the 8th month, and oh she was a kicker and her little kicks were painful. I had the easiest pregnancy with my son though, I was a pretty pregnant lady but I had a very traumatic birth experience.

    My emotions, you mean during pregnancy or post pregnancy??

    When I hold them for the first time I thought that everything was worth it and I wanted to give my baby the best of me and I believed in love at first sight;) When I was pregnant I was afraid that I wouldn't love my babies right away but I was wrong. And then I was terrified, they don't come with instructions. Having a degree in child devlopment is useless with your own kids.

    I dont think I'm a better person becuase I am a mother, I know tons of amazing people and they're not parents and I've also met horrible people that are parents so I think that's a misconception.
     
  4. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    To put it simply, motherhood reprioritized my entire life. :)
     
  5. Rakhel

    Rakhel Honey badger.

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    my emotional state changed with each pregnancy as well as during. some times I was the nicest person you had ever met other times I was the nastiest ***** in the world. I would cry over the silliest things, laugh at some of the stupidest, and scream at some of the most mundane.(My husband has said many times he is happy he never got me a gun.) I felt like an elephant, some times, lumbering along, hated tat my feet swelled to the size of watermelons and the kicking could be painful as hell.

    As for holding each of them, it was the most wondrous thing.
     
  6. Aquitaine

    Aquitaine Well-Known Member

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    When I was pregnant with my first chi...... pffffft hehehe! :p

    Couldn't resist ^_^
     
  7. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    All right, I guess I can embellish a bit more than I did in my response. :D

    During both of my pregnancies, I had to adjust quite a bit since both of them were VERY unplanned. I had originally looked at that pregnancy test on both occasions, cried, and then thought about what my options were. Each time, I chose to have the baby with my first husband (they are both his by blood).

    After a few weeks, I got used to the idea, and felt ready to face it with my head held high.

    With my first pregnancy (son Tyler), I had the WORST nausea I ever experienced. I used to think of women having morning sickness and think to myself, "Oh jeez, what's a little nausea here and there? I throw up, and I've had health problems, so I don't get the drama.".....well, upon getting pregnant, and finding myself camped out by the toilet for four months straight, I apologized to the universe for being such a ninny. That was rough.

    When I was pregnant with child #2 (daughter Dana), the morning sickness wasn't there as much. I think I vomited once, and I only felt a little nauseous for a couple of weeks. I wish I wish I WISH I had the secret of why that first trimester was so different than the one I had with Tyler, but I don't. *shrugs* Oh well.

    By month 5 with Tyler, I woke up one morning, and felt hungry. No, hungry isn't the right word. I was voracious. When they said there was a craving, they weren't kidding. I wanted a ribeye steak for breakfast, and nobody was going to tell me no - now keep in mind I had been a vegetarian for years before that one pivotal morning. But there I was, wanting animal flesh, and wanting a LOT of it and as much as I could afford.

    I got my steak. But I remember contemplating that moment for a while, and knowing that my body and my baby were telling me in no uncertain terms that I couldn't exactly talk my way out of what was a reality, or that I couldn't ignore it, or just laugh it off or shrug it off. I couldn't think my way out of morning sickness. I couldn't think my way out of wanting red meat to consume. I couldn't fight it or negotiate with it or run away from it. It was there, and I had to just accept it if I wanted any semblence of sanity.

    So I let my cravings dictate what I wanted. I paid attention to my body and what it wanted instead of the other way around where I withheld food from it for so long and so often to be thin for the stage. I'd go to Hardee's fast food joints and buy 4 extra large orders of french fries when the mood hit me, and I'd eat it all. Or I'd make trays and trays of bruschetta.....just because I remembered how it smelled and wanted a lot of it right at that moment. Of course, then I'd go and throw it all up again, but I stopped caring about how much weight I'd gain, and instead found myself LOVING food again.

    The second trimester was my favorite times in both my pregnancies. I had more energy. I had a "glow" about me (I really did). I felt round and sensual and curvy and beautiful. My skin cleared up. Whatever nausea I had felt was all but a memory. My hair became think and luscious. I looked pregnant, and it was exciting.

    The third trimester was OK until the 9th month. By that time, I was a beached whale. My stomach would bulge out so far that I could balance plates of food on them (no lie, either, I used to do that at family BBQ's). I couldn't drive around; I was stuck at home most of the time waiting for the baby to come. I would have Braxton-Hicks contractions sometimes so painfully that it was difficult to discern what was real or what was a false alarm. Not to mention that my breasts had grown so large that I couldn't hide them - ever. At all. I went from a perky and perfect dancers size 34B to a gargantuan 38EE. And they seemed to never stop growing. So my curves felt like they were just going out of control, and I would become moodier and moodier because not having ANY say so over what was going on with my body had reached it's boiling point with me. I was tired of giving my body out on loan. I was ready to actually hold my baby.

    Both labor and delivery stories were vastly different from each other (go figure, lol), but the first time I ever held each of my kids was........magical. Other-worldly. Bliss. I can't describe it, I felt so loving and protective and grateful to be in such a position. I held my babies for the first time, and I felt like I could move mountains. I never felt so tender toward another human being until I held my babies and looked into their eyes for the first time.

    Oh, and breastfeeding was a trip. :yes:

    As far as the final question, that's admittedly tough to answer. I can't say that it's made me into a better person since I know that if I had never had children, that no doubt I'd be in a much different place financially and emotionally, but I'm sure I'd still be a bold and Big-Squishy-Hugses-kind-of-woman. However, I can say with certainty that being a mother is more of a fast-track opportunity to selflessness, patience, and generosity. Mind you, I said opportunity, meaning that having kids wasn't a guarantee that I'd learn those traits at all. LOL

    Overall, I stand by my original response to the OP, and I feel that my kids - all of them, including the two I didn't give birth to (though Dylan and Garette have their own "birth" stories of how I welcomed them into my arms) - are all a tremendous blessing in my life.
     
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  8. Rakhel

    Rakhel Honey badger.

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    LOL the nausea part. I had the same issue. you do think "what's a little morning sickness?" Then you say "I wish I had a little morning sickness!"
    Damn about the breast growth. Mine only went from a 38C to a 38D. I couldn't breastfeed either. I couldn't produce enough milk.
     
  9. Madhuri

    Madhuri RF Goddess
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    Are you thinking of having a baby lava??
     
  10. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    Dang, woman. It's too bad we didn't form a secret alliance back then. The Milk Fairy must have given me your mojo by accident. I made waaaaaayyyyyy too much milk. My kids would pop up from feeding practically choking, and I'd be spraying everywhere.

    I can laugh about it now, but back then I used to lament, "What the H is wrong with me?" :sad4:
     
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  11. Aquitaine

    Aquitaine Well-Known Member

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    Heh..... that's so cute! :yes:
     
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  12. Gentoo

    Gentoo The Feisty Penguin

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    I know I shouldn't laugh, but that was worded so hilariously! :biglaugh:
     
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  13. DallasApple

    DallasApple Depends Upon My Mood..

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    YEAH BIG BOOBS!!

    You get BIG FAT BOOBS!

    Love

    Dallas
     
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  14. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    Tell me about it. LOL

    I think that's one of the things about pregnancy and new motherhood. There literally are so many aspects that are out of your control.

    Here's another scenario......Try this visual out for size:

    Sex - really really GOOD sex which leads to
    Orgasm which leads to
    Breastmilk spraying everywhere :help:

    I cried a lot back then. go ahead and laugh, life is funny
     
  15. Rakhel

    Rakhel Honey badger.

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    I do wish we had known each other at that time Mystic. I might have taken your weight to.
    I would lose weight during pregnancy and gain it after. Cravings were off the charts. One pregnancy insisted on Lobster,another ice cream sandwiches and green olives, and still another ice water. No not water with ice in it but I insisted on ice with water in it.
    Births? each mother has her own "hell" birth. one that was worse than the other(unless you've only had one). Mine involved a doctor's hands where I didn't want them.
     
  16. DallasApple

    DallasApple Depends Upon My Mood..

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    I blocked that part out..

    I wore a chastity belt ..
    I cried...A LOT ...with my last one I cried in the towel in the bathroom./

    GET your HANDS off of ME!!!!!! (red devil face!!!)

    I guess because I was nursing abotu 40 minutes to every 2 hours..So that would be...Ummmmm about 20 hours day..NURSING!

    The LAST thing I wanted was for some man to squeeze or touch them..

    Oh and orgasms? Made me throw UP!

    WHAHHH!!!

    Love


    Dallas
     
  17. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    That would have been awesome. :yes:

    Oh, yeah. I never had the "pickles and ice cream" weird cravings, just cravings for food I normally would never eat except for once in a blue moon. You know what I mean, right?

    Like apples. I might ask for not just one apple, but 6. That was weird. But CRIPES I wanted a lot of apples one time.

    :hug: Oy.

    Same here. Mine had forceps in one birth where they got stuck (really.....no, really). Another where I was given an enema, and we can use our imaginations on what the effects were with THAT joke that I'm sure the nurse did to me. Another was the spinal I was given for anesthetic where they had to poke me multiple times to get the needle in right in my spine while I was having horrible back labor contractions.

    I'm so happy that everyone in the labor and delivery rooms never took my verbal abuse personally. I think I kicked everybody in the arms and told them all to **** off at one point or other.

    Have I scared anybody who wants children yet? :devil:
     
  18. Gentoo

    Gentoo The Feisty Penguin

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    That sounds painful actually.... :cover: and then hilarious..
     
  19. ChristineES

    ChristineES Tiggerism
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    There is no feeling like that of holding your child for the first time. When I held my oldest son, I couldn't imagine there was anything more beautiful. I felt the same about my other two.
    At the beginning of my pregnancy of each of my kids, I thought at first I had a stomach flu- LOL. I felt best during the 2nd trimester. At the third trimester I used to sit and feel them move inside me. It is an incredible feeling. And yes, I think becoming a mother made me a better person.
     
  20. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
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    LOL I know we've shared our stories before, Lana, but they bear repeating. ;)

    I felt like an anamoly, a science experiment gone horribly wrong, a freak show. I had this itty bitty waist and these ginormous breasts that my first husband wanted to touch and squeeze and bury his face in all the time. MAN they were sore, and my nipples bled (only at first, though), and I just felt huge. I also felt like the un-sexiest freak show and more like a cow masquerading around like a short porn star. LOL

    It took a while for me to like my body again.
     
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