Hey Dad – you up there with the long hair and beard

[LeMaverick]

Why can’t you get things straight? You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil. What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something? If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules? Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation” – as they have for thousands of years. You need to clean house and eliminate the charlatans who masquerade as prophets and preachers and popes.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand? Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time. What story line should one go with?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences? If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid. If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.



.

 

[michel]

Why can’t you get things straight? You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil. What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something? If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules? Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation” – as they have for thousands of years. You need to clean house and eliminate the charlatans who masquerade as prophets and preachers and popes.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand? Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time. What story line should one go with?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences? If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid. If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.



.

Each one to his own.............

 

[Mister_T]

Why can’t you get things straight? You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil. What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something? If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules? Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation” – as they have for thousands of years. You need to clean house and eliminate the charlatans who masquerade as prophets and preachers and popes.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand? Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time. What story line should one go with?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences? If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid. If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.



.

Decaffinated coffee works wonders.

 

[Hema]

Our true nature is in his image and likeness but because people get too taken up in the material world, they forget their true nature and think that we are only on the physical level. We forget that we are all the same on the spiritual level. The spirit is what is true because it will never die. The body alone dies. However, people think that they are the body alone. They live only in body consciousness. When they do this, they see the physical differences in others. They see others as black, white, rich, poor, Hindu, Muslim, Christian etc. When differences are perceived, then ego steps in and then hatred and intolerance. We are souls having a temporary bodily experience - not the other way around! That Absolute Truth (which some call God) is not a man nor a woman - it is the soul of the universe. The soul that is everywhere. The soul within you and me. In my humble opinion, we all came from God and we will all return to God.

 

[Darkness]

LeMaverick, you are entirely right. I wish more Christians would open their eyes and see their God for what He truly is.

 

[Quagmire]

Hi LeMaverick, This is God (figured I'd hack into Quagmires account while he's out getting coffee).

OK...

Why can’t you get things straight?

Because everything in the Universe moves in circles.

You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil.

What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something?

I gave you freewill. That means you get to decide what "peverted" means.

If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

You also get to decide what "perfect" means.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Look at it this way; I gave you the air you breath. If you decide you'd rather hold your breath, no probs, knock yourself out. But don't accuse me of smotherring you.

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

I'm not done creating this one yet.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules?

I don't, but for some reason you guys decided you did.

Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation”

The only salvation they're selling is their own.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand?

Look, I don't just "say it like it is", I say it and it is. Watch---*says "Penguin", penguin appears*. See what I'm getting at?

Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time.

Look, if you're going to use anything from that book at all why not read the disclaimer, "Love God with all your heart and soul and will, and love your nieghbor as yourself. This is the whole messege of the law. Everything else is just commentary"


The book itself says you don't have to read it (JC gave you the cliff notes). What more do you need to know?

What story line should one go with?

Why not go with the one that's unfolding in front of you at any given moment?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Do you see my signature on any of those books? Some people say they do but I'm talking to you right now.


Look, I'm going to let you in on a little secret; I didn't invent words, you guys came up with those.


I think the idea was you wanted to use them to create your own universe(s).

All you managed to do with them is tear mine apart----"Good/Bad", "Male/Female", "Life/Death"--no wonder you're so confused.


If it weren't for words you guys wouldn't have anything to judge each other with.


Seriously I'd be happy if you all just shut the hell up, at least sometimes.

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences?

If it weren't for religion you guys would find some other excuse.

If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid.

Haven't noticed, but then I don't spend as much time thinking about myself as you guys do.

If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.

OK now that was a cheap shot about my weight. I'm the entire Universe after all. Try getting that into a pair of Calvin Kleins.

As far as the rest, yeah I've gotten alot of bad press. All I can say is sometimes the written word is just braille for those who have decided not to see.

Sorry if that sounds like a parable.

 

[Super Universe]

Why can’t you get things straight? You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil. What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something? If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules? Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation” – as they have for thousands of years. You need to clean house and eliminate the charlatans who masquerade as prophets and preachers and popes.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand? Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time. What story line should one go with?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences? If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid. If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.
.

What if God never destroyed anything and the ancient (ignorant) priests wrote that God was angry because they had no other explanation for the ground shaking, terrifying storms, and fireballs (meteor) from the sky?

And a priest who writes that God can be angry and jealous also gets the added benefit of increasing his (the priests) own power over the people. "God is angry because you didn't donate enough money last month!" And the gold coins suddenly overflow from the priests pockets.

You don't have to worship God, you have complete free will. Did God prevent you from posting this?

God has much to think about. He connects with each of us through the soul so He knows everything you do, say, feel, taste, and smell. He's also creating the universe constantly. If He took a break from it then everything would disappear.

God doesn't need preachers. He doesn't "need" anything. If He truly did then it would be so.

Why would God eliminate them? So people could then say "God punishes those He does not favor" and it would actually be true? All the preachers appointed themselves and you have the choice to listen or not. None of us, even Jerry Falwell and Jimmy Swaggart, has more or less favor from God.

How come you don't understand the parables? It's not rocket science. And the bible is not God's book, His signature is not on it. The bible is the priests book. God's writing is the universe and life itself.

True revelation did not say conflicting things, people's interpretations of it did. If you go to another country and ask for a glass of water but they instead bring you "agua" is it really different?

If a human kills another human, it's not God's fault, the human chose it. Regardless if it's in the name of God or for whatever reason, God does not interfere with us because free will is the whole point of the 3rd dimensional material universe. Quit crying and fix it if you don't like it.

God stupid? Yeah, right. Perhaps you can explain the relationship between space/time and gravity/relativity/strong and weak nuclear forces then? Go ahead, take your time. I'm in no hurry...

To finish, it's not about you, it never was, it never will be. The universe does not exist to give humans happy lives. Your life here is temporary, the earth is like pre-school for the universe. There is so much you have to learn about the universe before you even begin to fathom God. Heaven is not the next step, heaven is like getting your Master's Degree.

But then, you already think you know everything.

 

[pladecalvo]

Why can’t you get things straight? You created defective humans, supposedly in your own image, and then destroy them for being wicked or evil. What gives? Are you some kind of pervert or something? If “in your image” is wicked and evil, the whole problem is your fault because you are wicked and evil – so much for the fairytale about a “perfect being”.

What’s this about everyone has to whorship you or they get dumped in hell? Does a big important guy like you need ego satisfaction by having miserable little humans running around “whorshiping” all the time?

Don’t you have anything more important to think about? Go create another universe or something to keep your mind occupied.

A bunch of folks think you can do anything and that you know everything. If that is true why do you need egotistical preachers to tell people about your rules? Surely you are aware that many of your little “representatives” are getting rich by “selling salvation” – as they have for thousands of years. You need to clean house and eliminate the charlatans who masquerade as prophets and preachers and popes.

How come you talk in parables? Can’t you just say it like it is so everyone can understand? Is this some kind of game where we’re supposed to guess what you think you want? According to your “holy book” you change your mind from time to time. What story line should one go with?

You claim that you are the only true god. Well who the heck are all the other super-guys that claim the same thing? Are there a bunch of you entertaining yourselves by causing humans to fight among themselves? Why else would each of you tell your “prophets” something different?

Have you noticed that for thousands of years humans have been killing each other over religious differences? If you hadn’t noticed, you’re pretty stupid. If you did notice and didn’t correct your personal mistake, you are a pervert who enjoys seeing humans kill each other – just as your bible portrays.

I don’t want my name associated with yours. I don’t think you are my sky daddy. I think you are a big fat fraud.

Love it!:yes:

 

[Darkness]

Quagmire and Super Universe, you have missed the point of the thread. LeMaverick, was clearly targeting specific concepts of God -- the Abraham concepts.

 

[Quagmire]

Quagmire and Super Universe, you have missed the point of the thread. LeMaverick, was clearly targeting specific concepts of God -- the Abraham concepts.

Don't look at me, I was out getting coffee.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

LeMaverick, you are entirely right. I wish more Christians would open their eyes and see their God for what He truly is.

Process Theology of the Cross

 

[angellous_evangellous]

LeMaverick, you are entirely right. I wish more Christians would open their eyes and see their God for what He truly is.

More precisely I think that you mean that more Christians should pay attention to what they are saying about the nature of God when they portray him as a madman.

 

[Super Universe]

Defective humans is a concept from Abraham? Hell a concept of Abraham? Parables a concept of Abraham? Nope.

What we have here is a child who is crying because they don't like the vaccination shots they're getting, never mind they don't have the intelligence and maturity to understand what's good for them in the long run.

 

[Quagmire]

Oh now...

You can't blame someone for throwing up after they've been force-fed poison.

It's not pretty but it's much better than swallowing it and letting it make you sick (or calling it nector and trying to force-feed it to someone else).

 

[Darkness]

More precisely I think that you mean that more Christians should pay attention to what they are saying about the nature of God when they portray him as a madman.

What I meant is, that Christians (not Christian Universalists) should open their eyes and see their God for the bloodthirsty ******* that he is. They should realize a God willing to condemn souls to an eternal hellfire for simply not believing in His Son, is in reality a Devil, worse than even the most sadistic humans who have ever lived.

 

[Mister_T]

Hi LeMaverick, This is God (figured I'd hack into Quagmires account while he's out getting coffee).

OK...




Because everything in the Universe moves in circles.




I gave you freewill. That means you get to decide what "peverted" means.




You also get to decide what "perfect" means.




Look at it this way; I gave you the air you breath. If you decide you'd rather hold your breath, no probs, knock yourself out. But don't accuse me of smotherring you.




I'm not done creating this one yet.




I don't, but for some reason you guys decided you did.





The only salvation they're selling is their own.




Look, I don't just "say it like it is", I say it and it is. Watch---*says "Penguin", penguin appears*. See what I'm getting at?





Look, if you're going to use anything from that book at all why not read the disclaimer, "Love God with all your heart and soul and will, and love your nieghbor as yourself. This is the whole messege of the law. Everything else is just commentary"


The book itself says you don't have to read it (JC gave you the cliff notes). What more do you need to know?






Why not go with the one that's unfolding in front of you at any given moment?




Do you see my signature on any of those books? Some people say they do but I'm talking to you right now.


Look, I'm going to let you in on a little secret; I didn't invent words, you guys came up with those.


I think the idea was you wanted to use them to create your own universe(s).

All you managed to do with them is tear mine apart----"Good/Bad", "Male/Female", "Life/Death"--no wonder you're so confused.


If it weren't for words you guys wouldn't have anything to judge each other with.


Seriously I'd be happy if you all just shut the hell up, at least sometimes.






If it weren't for religion you guys would find some other excuse.




Haven't noticed, but then I don't spend as much time thinking about myself as you guys do.




OK now that was a cheap shot about my weight. I'm the entire Universe after all. Try getting that into a pair of Calvin Kleins.

As far as the rest, yeah I've gotten alot of bad press. All I can say is sometimes the written word is just braille for those who have decided not to see.

Sorry if that sounds like a parable.

That, my good man, is excellent. They should make a sticky out of that. :clap

 

[Draka]

Don't look at me, I was out getting coffee.

Unfortunately I can't frubal you again.

 

[sandy whitelinger]

Why can’t you get things straight?

You are the one who does not have the lessons of Scripture straight.

 

[Quagmire]

That, my good man, is excellent. They should make a sticky out of that. :clap

Lol! Thanks!

(God to Quagmire); "Oh I see how it is; when someone objects you're all about, "Don't look at me I was at the coffee shop" but when there's some positive feedback you stand up and take a bow?" *turns Quagmire into a penguin*

 

[Quagmire]

Unfortunately I can't frubal you again.

Thanks Draka, it's the thought that counts

(God to Quagmire); Oh great, now you're going to take my frubals too? *turns Quagmire into a penguin and drops him off in the Sahara dessert*