HELP! I trusted my minister and he talked me out of God's Plan for me

[faithful2yahweh]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

 

[bobhikes]

Every bible I ever read if God wanted you to do something he eventually got you to do it. God is God and we just follow his plan. Sometimes we have to spend our days in the belly of a whale till we are ready.

You should start by sitting down with a professional. It is good to seek the help of others but it is best if the person has the experience you need.

 

[metis]

I always liked and used Gandhi's approach, and it opened doors for me that I never envisioned before: if we have a repeated strong feeling we should do or not do something, make certain it's moral first of all, and if so, go for it without making excuses not to. Gandhi felt that this is most often the way God speaks to us: not so much words, but strong moral feelings.

 

[BSM1]

There is no plan. Why in the world would an omnipotent and omniscient Deity ever have to "plan" anything?

 

[Akivah]

That minister is an immoral, unethical snake! He destroyed the plan that you had. And now 20 years later, you are still suffering from it. It seems to me that if you can find meaning in your life, that would be pay back to that criminal. Is there any work you can do in medicine that doesn't require a medical degree? That criminal should not be in charge of your entire life. Twenty years is enough.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

I wouldn't listen to it some of those guys; some not and are leaders in most of them they try to push out of a comfortable standing in Christ; that they can only do this if your being honest with yourself then their typical route.. is..think like the worst of sinners (sometimes even be themselves) and find some way to micro manage guilt back onto the person that its never enough, or act like you (the person in session) are the worst of sinners even if not true, trick into a double bind or micro manage guilt here and there. (I forgot to mention harassments too..They'll usually bring the idea of law again. Its then a management idea and goes back to laws of "cultural" Jews, dividing the idea anti-Semitism and just their idea of cultural "norms" laws also writings in Islam, defensive mechanism, emotional superstitions, cultural yada yada.. At least that's not something yet, but brainwashing a good (im sorry I meant terrible) No one is good but GOD.. person. I'm sure he's trying his "best". I once read that a man in china was thrown a jail or a camp in china. They gave him a bible which he requested. It was a dark place, eventually they let him out. He felt so guilty at that point that he went BACK because he was thinking that its better for him if sits and in jail and suffering for Christ, so anyways if you feel your mind is facing some sort of hypocrisy which later will possible be a sort of false martyrdom, face it. Before someone gets to that point and its ridiculous, or kills themselves. God being perfect can have a hilarious way of bullying back out freedom or away from such to more truth. I cant explain any of that.

 

[djhwoodwerks]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

This is how I see your situation,

First off, if you have asked God to forgive you for not obeying Him, if you truly believe it was His plan for you, then He has, the Bible says,

1 John 1:9 (ESV Strong's) 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The voice you keep hearing telling you, "I told you to...." is not God's, it is either your self or satan, trying to keep you in condemnation, but the Bible says,

Romans 8:1 (ESV Strong's) 1 There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

God "has" forgiven you, you need to forgive yourself and pastor X and let God guide you again!

Matthew 6:14-15 (ESV Strong's) 14 For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, 15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.


Remember Joseph?

Genesis 50:20 (ESV Strong's) 20 As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.

God's plan for our lives can only be halted by our attitude, lack of faith and trust.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

So you think that this pastor managed to thwart God's will? Interesting.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Live and learn.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

So you think that this pastor managed to thwart God's will? Interesting.

I don't think it is that; couldn't even be; however I do believe people can have a preconceived Idea of who should and shouldn't at times but yeah the poster is seeing the manipulation side and that pastor is like well I gave you so much ****, I think you'd be good at my job. LOL At times nobody knows who should be what so I've seen them pick on someone a bit who might be good for what they have in mind. He maybe right he maybe wrong. The pastor might not being actually picking on everyone. Just the ones he wants to see will do good to others. Possibly what the pastor might have been thinking lol.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

I don't think it is that; couldn't even be; however I do believe people can have a preconceived Idea of who should and shouldn't at times but yeah the poster is seeing the manipulation side and that pastor is like well I gave you so much ****, I think you'd be good at my job. LOL At times nobody knows who should be what so I've seen them pick on someone a bit who might be good for what they have in mind. He maybe right he maybe wrong. The pastor might not being actually picking on everyone. Just the ones he wants to see will do good to others. Possibly what the pastor might have been thinking lol.

I don't think that's always "Gods" hand per say, and not always the case Jesus stand in the Gap.

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

b

I don't think that's always "Gods" hand per say.

Anyways Godbless

 

[RabbiO]

[QUOTE="meghanwaterlillies, post: 4860573, member: 60338"I forgot to mention harassments too..They'll usually bring the idea of law again. Its then a management idea and goes back to laws of "cultural" Jews, dividing the idea anti-Semitism and just their idea of cultural "norms" laws also writings in Islam, defensive mechanism, emotional superstitions, cultural yada yada.....[/QUOTE]

I have no idea what you're saying here. I know it will temporarily derail this thread, but could you explain?

 

[meghanwaterlillies]

[QUOTE="meghanwaterlillies, post: 4860573, member: 60338"I forgot to mention harassments too..They'll usually bring the idea of law again. Its then a management idea and goes back to laws of "cultural" Jews, dividing the idea anti-Semitism and just their idea of cultural "norms" laws also writings in Islam, defensive mechanism, emotional superstitions, cultural yada yada.....

I have no idea what you're saying here. I know it will temporarily derail this thread, but could you explain?

Its a defensive mechanism actually for evangelism. Semitism for example is the people of a land. If they think you might be prejudice about people they bring up race vs the customs, traditions, and characteristics of those people. For example you go to a culture that is example cannibalistic. You being who you are might definitely hate the people in general because of the practices. But actually you know that cannibalism is wrong. That also means other people in the area are suffering because someone or people are getting ate. How are you to do evangelism? How do heal a people who's customs are brutal to people. Very interesting stuff. So they do things in parables or questioning like do you hate Jews, do hate black people white tan peope yada yada. Even though you who you are might have your peeps or people yet They want to know what kind of person you are in those circumstances. Do you see what I'm saying?

 

[Aštra’el]

Maybe you should not have allowed yourself to be so easily manipulated. Nobody on earth could have talked me out of my dreams.

 

[arthra]

every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

My suggestion would be for you to explore how you can serve others in the medical field or a related field for a time so you can still serve others... as to your religious needs seek a more relaxed and open church or religious vocation to better meet your spiritual needs...

 

[David1967]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

Sounds very much like the Independent Baptist Churches. Am I correct?

 

[NewGuyOnTheBlock]

I am sorry for your experience. Religion, in my opinion, is a terrible thing. You took bad advice that was given to you manipulatively; and sadly, you will pay the consequences of that the rest of your life. Living with regret is a sad, sad thing. You have my empathy and my compassion.

Can't you get into nursing or something like that? If you really want to go to needy nations and help them, why must you go to needy nations and help them as a doctor? What's stopping you? That you can't do it the way you dreamed about doing long ago; and if you can't do it THAT way, you won't do it at all? Sounds rather self-serving, if you ask me ...

I do not believe it is "Jesus" or anyone else telling you, "I told you so". I believe that is your own voice whom you are attributing to some divine influence. It is not the forgiveness of "Jesus" that you need. It is the "forgiveness" of faithful2yawheh that you need.

If medical school is not in your future, then I suggest that you come to terms with the fact that medical school is no longer in your future, let it go, and define new goals.

 

[ukok102nak]

I was a college senior and had been awarded a full scholarship to a prestigious medical school; I believed that God had called me to be a medical missionary. I was having problems with depression because I was living with my parents, who were alcoholics and were very abusive. I was a member of a Baptist megachurch at the time, and they didn't believe in psychiatrists, so I got "pastoral counseling" from the senior minister (whom I shall call "Pastor X"). He poured on massive amounts of guilt in multiple "counseling" sessions, saying things like "If you were doing God's will, you would feel joy in tribulations" (James 1:2-4). After many sessions over several months, he convinced me that it was not God's will for me to be a medical missionary; it was His will for me to go to seminary and become a Baptist minister.
So I enrolled in one of the denomination's largest and most well-respected seminaries. About a year later, I was in a conversation with several other seminary students about the contracts that ministers have with their churches. One of the other students, whose father was on the Compensation Committee at Pastor X's church, said, "Pastor X has an interesting clause in his contract. For every church member who goes to seminary or into full time Christian work, the church pays him a financial bonus".
At that moment, it was like scales fell from my eyes (Acts 9:18). I could no longer ignore the overwhelming manipulativeness, selfishness, immorality, intellectual dishonesty and hypocrisy that I had seen for over two decades (my entire life) in my Baptist denomination, its churches, its ministers and the vast majority of the other seminary students. I dropped out of seminary. After numerous attempts over several years, I was unable to get accepted into any medical school. I have drifted from menial job to meaningless job since then (20+ years).
I still believe in Jesus. But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship". God has been saying this to me for many, many years and He won't stop saying it. I've asked Jesus to forgive me, thousands of times, and He still keeps saying it.
Has anyone else had an experience like this? If so, I sure do need someone to talk with.

perhaps it is one of
Human actions

All human actions have one or more of these seven causes: chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, and desire.

. . . as some humans say
as it is written carefully check
every detail on it
and kindly correct us if we are wrong
:read:
After this there passed by before me a watery cloud, and sent down much rain with a storm; and when the stormy rain was past, the drops remained still.
Then said he unto me, Consider with thyself; as the rain is more than the drops, and as the fire is greater than the smoke; but the drops and the smoke remain behind: so the quantity which is past did more exceed.
Then I prayed, and said, May I live, thinkest thou, until that time? or what shall happen in those days?
He answered me, and said,As for the tokens whereof thou askest me, I may tell thee of them in part: but as touching thy life, I am not sent to shew thee; for I do not know it.


:ty:



godbless
unto all always

 

[jonathan180iq]

But every time I pray to Him, all that I can hear is His voice saying, "I TOLD YOU to go to medical school; I even GAVE YOU a scholarship".

That's you talking to yourself. That's not Jesus.