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Hard Lessons learned

Discussion in 'Family and Personal Living' started by SoliDeoGloria, Jul 10, 2010.

  1. SoliDeoGloria

    SoliDeoGloria Active Member

    Joined:
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    This last week has been a hard one for me although you could say it started a couple of weeks ago. Mental disorders run on my mom's side of the family and I have a brother with a pretty bad disorder who can not function "normally" without medicine.

    A couple of weeks ago I had him over for a BBQ and he happened to get a call from our mother about an aunt we have who also has a pretty severe disorder. This aunt (Deborah) has been under the care of our grandmother since we could both remember. She was "overwheight" and would not be considered "attractive" by many standards so her "luck" with relationships was pretty much nonexistant. Because of her disorder, she also couldn't hold down a decent job. With all the reasons one could think of to be dissapointed/depressed, she was surely an example to follow. She chose to look for any and every reason to be happy and share her happiness with anybody around her. She always had a joke to tell and even if you might have not been in a good mood, you would've felt like the biggest jerk in the world not to smile and laugh with her. She always insisted on hugs and while she wasn't the best of singers or dancers, had a love of music she was not afriad to let out.

    Now while my brother and I live in the midwest, we were both born and raised in California for most of our lives and our family lives out in California still. The phone call my brother had gotten about Deborah had to do with a cancer they had just found out about. My brother called our grandmother to find out how things were going and was told by a crying grandmother that while it was true, our aunt was being sent home with a prescription. A nagging thought told me to call but with the business of being a single dad behind on bills, I chose to put it off.

    Wednesday night, our mother called me with a message that Deborah was in intesive care and I needed to call her. When I called, I was informed that this wonderfull person ended up having stage 4 cancer in a majority of her body and was dependant on machines to even breathe and that my mother was on her way to talk with docters to decide with her mother whether or not it was already time to let her pass on and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I have yet to shake. What a jerk I had been for letting the business of life keep me from letting one of the most wonderfull people I have ever had the privelage of knowing what I thought of her. The next day I had told my mother my tearfull deep regret and she promised to pass it on to Deborah, but it just wasn't enough.

    Friday, around 3pm pst, this wonderfull spirit went to a place where she will definetely fit in and here I sit ever so tearfully regretfull of not letting somebody who deserved so much more than what she had know how wonderfull of a person she was and how much i appreciated and loved her.

    Please don't make the same mistake I have. I can promise you will have a regret I wouldn't wish on any of you.

    I dedicate this post to truly one of the most wonderfull people I have ever had the privelage of knowing;

    To my Aunt Deborah,
    Sincerely,
    SoliDeoGloria
     
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  2. MysticSang'ha

    MysticSang'ha Big Squishy Hugger
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2006
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    You might need this. :hugehug:

    I know how you feel.
     
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  3. DallasApple

    DallasApple Depends Upon My Mood..

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2007
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    You do honor to Deborah..

    I bet you anything she knew and knows what a sweet sweet person you are..

    ((((HUGS)))))

    Send love from Dallas..

    Love

    Lana
     
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  4. Peacewise

    Peacewise Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2010
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    Ah friend sorry for your loss and I'll take your advice and call my grandfather right now.
     
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