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Going to Shabbat services -- Conservative to M.O.

Hi people,

I have been davening weekly at a Conservative congregation for a couple of years now. I haven't been inside an Orthodox shul since I was about 8 years old, and I'm curious to go again and see how comfortable it feels now.

It's a Modern Orthodox synagogue, within walking distance (albeit a long walk). My girlfriend's father also davens there sometimes, so I hope to see him, but he and I don't speak on a close basis.

Any practical advice? Dress, for example, should be black and white with coat and tie, or would any long-sleeved dress clothes be all right? My tallis is white with blue and gold stripes--should I just take the shul's in a more somber black and white, if they have some?
 

Tesla

Member
Hi people,

I have been davening weekly at a Conservative congregation for a couple of years now. I haven't been inside an Orthodox shul since I was about 8 years old, and I'm curious to go again and see how comfortable it feels now.

It's a Modern Orthodox synagogue, within walking distance (albeit a long walk). My girlfriend's father also davens there sometimes, so I hope to see him, but he and I don't speak on a close basis.

Any practical advice? Dress, for example, should be black and white with coat and tie, or would any long-sleeved dress clothes be all right? My tallis is white with blue and gold stripes--should I just take the shul's in a more somber black and white, if they have some?

Really, you can wear any suit with a nice tie. -Maybe a more conservative tie. (save your Betty Boop tie for another occasion). Yes, a coat would be appropriate.

Try to remember to wear your kippah -to- the shul if you're seeking to blend in and lay low. Yes, bring your tallis. The colors are not a problem. I've even seen some very colorful ones in Modern Orthodox shuls. If your tallis is one of those little thin ones that just hangs down from the neck, you might feel more comfortable borrowing one of the larger "loaners". -But they may go quickly so arrive early.

I know you said it's in walking distance, but just in case you change your mind and try to drive in, the shul may or may not keep their parking lot open and available. I've seen it done both ways, and I would hate to have you drive up to the shul only to learn that their parking lots are locked up and inaccessible.

Let us know how it goes. :)
 

Tesla

Member
Really, you can wear any suit with a nice tie. -Maybe a more conservative tie. (save your Betty Boop tie for another occasion). Yes, a coat would be appropriate.

Try to remember to wear your kippah -to- the shul if you're seeking to blend in and lay low. Yes, bring your tallis. The colors are not a problem. I've even seen some very colorful ones in Modern Orthodox shuls. If your tallis is one of those little thin ones that just hangs down from the neck, you might feel more comfortable borrowing one of the larger "loaners". -But they may go quickly so arrive early.

I know you said it's in walking distance, but just in case you change your mind and try to drive in, the shul may or may not keep their parking lot open and available. I've seen it done both ways, and I would hate to have you drive up to the shul only to learn that their parking lots are locked up and inaccessible.

Let us know how it goes. :)

Oh! Oh! Very important! Turn your cell phone off! Preferably, just don't bring it. I would recommend not even wearing a watch if there is a chance it might beep.
 
Really, you can wear any suit with a nice tie. -Maybe a more conservative tie. (save your Betty Boop tie for another occasion). Yes, a coat would be appropriate.

Try to remember to wear your kippah -to- the shul if you're seeking to blend in and lay low. Yes, bring your tallis. The colors are not a problem. I've even seen some very colorful ones in Modern Orthodox shuls. If your tallis is one of those little thin ones that just hangs down from the neck, you might feel more comfortable borrowing one of the larger "loaners". -But they may go quickly so arrive early.

I know you said it's in walking distance, but just in case you change your mind and try to drive in, the shul may or may not keep their parking lot open and available. I've seen it done both ways, and I would hate to have you drive up to the shul only to learn that their parking lots are locked up and inaccessible.

Let us know how it goes. :)
Thanks. Yeah, if the synagogue's kippot are usually neon-colored like ours are... But I have my own I'll wear. I forgot that I probably shouldn't carry my tallis as I'm outside the eruv.

No, I wouldn't expect to drive to the Orthodox shul; at the worst I'd drive to the Conservative synagogue and walk the extra few blocks there. However, I'd prefer walking the whole way, if I can hack it. :)

Do you think the siddurim will have any English on opposite pages? I have a Chabad siddur at home that does.
 

Tesla

Member
Thanks. Yeah, if the synagogue's kippot are usually neon-colored like ours are... But I have my own I'll wear. I forgot that I probably shouldn't carry my tallis as I'm outside the eruv.

No, I wouldn't expect to drive to the Orthodox shul; at the worst I'd drive to the Conservative synagogue and walk the extra few blocks there. However, I'd prefer walking the whole way, if I can hack it. :)

Do you think the siddurim will have any English on opposite pages? I have a Chabad siddur at home that does.

It's been my experience that MO shuls use siddurim (or have them available) with English on the opposite pages. You can bring your own siddur, but if you're not carrying your tallis, then you wouldn't carry your siddur either.
 

rosends

Well-Known Member
Most MO shuls have the Birnbaum or the Artscroll or the Koren siddurim, all which have English. Many have extra talleisim (for guests who need) -- if you are not married then there might not be an expectation that you will wear one (unless your family minhag was for you to start wearing at age 13). The colors aren't an issue if you can put up with stares from the squares. In the MO shul I go to, we have all colors of stripes, and even a base color yellow.

Depending on the shul, dress could be all formal (jackets required for an aliyah, suits de rigueur) or it could be less so (plain shirts and slacks). It might also have guys in borsalinos or maybe stetsons. MO is a broad spectrum of shuls and people.
 
if you are not married then there might not be an expectation that you will wear one (unless your family minhag was for you to start wearing at age 13).
I had heard about this once, and wasn't sure if it was an Ashkenazi vs. Sephardic thing or what. Thanks for bringing it up.

True, each congregation has some of their own trends and flavor. I guess I will have to go and see. Thanks, all. :)
 

Flankerl

Well-Known Member
As far as clothing is concerned I'd advise to wear shoes, pants and perhaps something other than a wife beater to cover your ripped He-Man body.
Depending on where you live a Shirt might be a good idea if its warm or not if its cold.
 
Okay, I finally went to their Shabbat morning services (Shacharit, Torah, and Musaf) at a Limmud event for our city.

My first impression was that the prayer service was strikingly similar to our Conservative congregation's services. 98% of the prayers were exactly the same, and 90% of the tunes were the same. Because I was a visitor, I received an aliyah (and I love getting aliyot / called up to the Torah) and a Mi Shebeirach (prayer for good health and well-being). There was a mechitza (barrier between the men and women), but when we stood up, people could see right over it, so I don't get what the point is...? Dress was also varied semi-formal. They used the Artscroll siddur, with prayers written in Hebrew next to English translations. Nice place with nice folks, I would go again if feasible. To me, it's nice to know I could step into an Orthodox synagogue now and be able to follow the services just fine. :)
 
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