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Giving up on dating (why women are difficult to date today)

Discussion in 'Men's Issues' started by Epic Beard Man, Aug 14, 2019 at 5:49 AM.

  1. Guitar's Cry

    Guitar's Cry Verisimilitudinous

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    I had major issues dating as a teenager because I expected my romantic interests to just fall for me. Until I realized I needed to work on my own perception of what relationships were, I felt it was the girls' fault. I was an angsty, horny teenager falling for a poisonous definition of "relationship."

    My best relationships came unlooked for. Epic Beard Man, I would suggest you seek out opportunities to develop your interests and hobbies rather than chase girls. It is likely you'll find someone that way who would be a great friend. This would work with some of Rival's advice too, since you are showing drive.
     
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  2. columbus

    columbus Conservative Catholic from Hell

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    BINGO!

    If you're unhappily single, I learned the best way out. Find some problem or cause that fires you up. Pursue it in a group situation. Demonstrate that you have something to give by giving.
    Other people who also have something to give will notice you. And somewhere in those people you'll probably find one who is compatible in the huge array of other important things.
    Tom
     
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  3. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    No, which is why I said in my experiences that is what I have dated. Hence, my mentioning that.

    My expectations are that I want a woman honest about herself, that means all that was her past IS her past not something that her girlfriends have convinced her but that she has really healed.

    I think if anyone who judges another based on her past has not healed which means it is not fair to the next person...Point blank period you aren't healed.
     
  4. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    Ok...
     
  5. Guitar's Cry

    Guitar's Cry Verisimilitudinous

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    I agree, but I would say that it is very possible for a couple that doesn't have much sex to do well provided they have other outlets.

    My wife and I have great sex. AMAZING sex! But we both have sexual interests that we sometimes have to forego. We are polyamorous, so it's not a big deal for us. Every relationship is very different and I fully understand that some relationships may be fullfilling without the deep intimacy I have with my wife.

    I do agree with you though: sexual dynamics are crucial, as long as that includes disinterest in sex. I have asexual friends who have great relationships! :)
     
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  6. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    Because many of them don't live in California and perhaps are not dating the type of women I've dated. I've dated a lot from college to graduate school. I'm sure I've had more intimate relations than majority of men here combined but that is neither here nor there which is unimportant.

    Obviously, hence the thread...

    I have hence the frustration..I've compromised my whole dating life because I've placed myself in another person's shoes but can't compromised damaged women.
     
  7. Rival

    Rival Noachide
    Staff Member Premium Member

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    This is what I mean; you have to be sexually compatible - whatever kind of sex or lackthereof that is. If one person is lazy and boring in bed and the other wants whips and handcuffs, it just will not work.
     
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  8. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    When I say I understand it's because they are reacting emotionally to a position where they were once like me.

    G-rap aka Gangsta rap where it dehumanized women comes from the bitterness of a failed relationship because there are women who have used men. Men have used avenues to express their frustration. I'm using mines.

    I don't agree with that cesspool of being amongst men who want to badger women its not healthy and many have pre-existing psychological issues. My rant is not one of them but of frustration.

    Well you're a good human being and decent at times cause you're human and like me we all fall short of the concept of "good" at times but again I'm biased because I have conversed with you many times over.
     
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  9. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    My parents are dead.
     
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  10. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    So when a man writes in frustration it somehow defaults me into the reason why I don't get dates? If you must know the topic is why I choose not to date, not why I don't get dates. I can get sex and women anytime it's not the issue, my issue is the quality.

    I agree with this and have heard this before but never really took into consideration so I will take this advice.

    But courting gestures are not universal and vary from woman to woman. If I lived in Lebanon how can I take courting gestures equivalent to the women I have seen in California?

    So wait? I have to consider a woman's pain and judgement all because she continues to not heal herself and therefore I'm to understand why I'm being compared to her past and I'm supposed to be okay with that?

    I keep forgetting the demographic that is replying here....Sheesh....
     
  11. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    I was being facetious to show that women in the dating pool have unrealistic expectations.

    So hoes hang out at hospitals where I work? Hoes have careers too? Well, actually you're right. Nurses and doctors who are married sleep with each other hence is what contributes to my pessimism.

    So your reading comprehension somehow go you thinking I date hoes when I'm a clinician? What does that say about career women? Hmm it's mostly who I have dated.
     
  12. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    I'm not. Usually it's men who have never had of sex I've had with the different amount of women nor the experiences I've had in college. I thought I made it clear that at the age of 37 I am just a simple man who wants a wife and a family,. I'm done with "hoes" I was merely telling these men what I've encountered but apparently reading is hard. I've already said not all women in my thread but somehow people assume I'm saying all women.


    I get some men are trying to be clever but apparently many have never lived in California nor have dated. I realize many that respond are old and perhaps have erectile dysfunction. My thing is complaining about the quality of women going on in the dating pool in California. Not the world, nor RF but in my experience and the surrounding population.
     
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  13. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    Work....I am a clinician and work at a hospital. I date professional women. You see, men here don't think professional women can be like this but they are. I'm just talking about it online.
     
  14. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    This is a discussion based on frustration. I made it clear that it is the women I've encountered not women who I have never met. Most of these women re your nurses when you go into the emergency department.
     
  15. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    No actually I'm meeting women where I work. They come up to me with the nonsense.
     
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  16. Epic Beard Man

    Epic Beard Man Bearded Philosopher

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    But I don't chase girls. They come to me and I give them a chance and hence is my issue that I'm discussing.
     
  17. Left Coast

    Left Coast Active Member
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    I can understand that. If a person is not ready to be in a relationship because of prior baggage, or doesn't want the same kind of relationship you want, no amount of empathy will make you compatible. More than anything I just want you to remember that this too shall pass. :greenheart:
     
  18. PureX

    PureX Veteran Member

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    I unfortunately have to agree with you on much of this. And I have no idea what can or even should be done about it. The fact is that our culture is completely controlled by a commercial ideology that preaches 24-7 and in every possible media that we should all have whatever we want, when we want it, and how we want it, just because we want it. And further, it preaches that we can all have this because this is America, where anyone can be, do, and have whatever they want, if they just "try" hard enough.

    This is all complete buklsh*t, of course. It's a fantasy being pushed on us constantly by commercial advertisers who's job it is to get us to buy all kinds of useless and over-prices crap until we go broke, and end up so deep in dept that we die under a bridge somewhere. And in the case of women, after centuries of being exploited, abused, and oppressed by the men in their lives, they now have the additional 24-7 message of the feminists telling them that they don't need men in their lives at all (and the job market is happy to accommodate this idea because women work cheaper) so they can now hold men up to their fantasy ideal an and reject anyone that doesn't 'measure up'. Another, "you can have it all" messages just for the girls. And it's mostly just more bullsh*t.

    But I don't think your solution is to reject women, or to reject looking for a compatible women to partner with. I think you are probably just going to have to accept where and when you are living, and the huge impediments that come with it, and then keep looking. Because I am quite sure there are women out there what will align with your perspective. You're just going to have to be patient, open, and willing, until she shows up.
     
  19. oldbadger

    oldbadger Skanky Old Mongrel!

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    Good luck, friend.
     
  20. oldbadger

    oldbadger Skanky Old Mongrel!

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    Good dates....... I said 'good' dates.
    :shrug:
     
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