From RHP to LHP...did any of you transition?

[crossfire]

I agree, I think that it's hard for me to transition from merely praying away a problem, to actually dealing with it, and trying to get past it. The main issue I'd like to deal with, is my childhood. I have since made amends with my dad, he apologized for hurting me as a kid (emotionally, and hit me, etc)...but I still hold onto the pain of it. Not as much, but it's like I simply don't know how to resolve it. How to rid myself of the poison, if that makes sense. I have cried about it, prayed about it when I was a practicing Christian, worked through some of it, but there are still triggers that spark those horrible memories. And it's more than just memories, I've created a narrative in my mind that if my childhood was better, different, etc...I would never be afraid of anything, now. My life would be bliss, and I know that is wrong to think like this, but it's an ingrained narrative, I guess.

Hate doesn't overcome hate. Processing hatred within yourself is painful. However, while the pain of working through transforming it may feel like a hole in your heart, that hole is also like a window that lets light in, further helping with the transformation, understanding, and healing.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

That said, I've never allowed my ''soul'' to explode, for I was always taught that keeping things inside, and taking them to God in prayer, was the 'right' way. And forget taboo things...one should always view those as evil, if one is a ''true'' believer. It's those types of doctrines that take time to...unlearn.

I hear you on that. I can be hard to let go of such security, comfort, and certainty, and embracing those things you were once taught to avoid. But, eventually, you can get to where you can do what you want to do without fear or hesitation.

 

[Deidre]

Hate doesn't overcome hate. Processing hatred within yourself is painful. However, while the pain of working through transforming it may feel like a hole in your heart, that hole is also like a window that lets light in, further helping with the transformation, understanding, and healing.

I read this earlier, but had something to do and couldn't comment. I had tears in my eyes when I first read this, because I never realized that I hate my childhood. I never really processed that until you posted this. I always knew it upset me, or I wish it was different, but hate probably would fit my feelings about it, and I hate that I hate it. lol I want this to change, and I'm going to work on it.