Free time. How much you got?

[Daemon Sophic]

My wife is a bit of an OCD control freak who is constantly looking for the next project to do, or to have me do.
I, on the other extreme, am male.

I fully believe and adhere to the axiom that you should give a difficult job to a lazy person and they will find an easier way to do it. Also, most problems will go away, if you just ignore them. If I had my druthers, I would get and up have breakfast, and then proceed to lounge around all day long before returning to bed at night. Mind you I am not a slob and I maintain a professional job and do it well. But on most days, when she is not at home, I will have at least several hours of ..... non-job/chores time to myself, or at least be able to sit and watch a movie with the kids.

So how about you? Are you driven constantly to improve the house, recheck the finances, work in the yard, push the kids to improve their schoolwork and their lives, or improve your workplace? Do you get up in the morning and work, work, work, until you collapse into bed late at night? Or do you, on average, set aside or conveniently have time to relax and enjoy yourself?
I’m wondering what is normal.

 

[ChristineM]

I am quite OCD when it comes to cleaning and cooking but i like to get it all done in the mornings and have the rest of the day in pleasurable pastimes. That means i am up each morning at 5:30 (6:30 during the lockdown, i could get used to it)

Hubby needs driving but once kick started he does what needs doing.

Before we retired we both worked full time and had a housekeeper to manage the house. With retirement we promised ourselves we would do it all ourselves. Its been a steep learning curve, reading how to do basic diy diy and failing until we go it right. Even discovering what cleaning products to use where, i think we have it all (almost all) sorted out now.

 

[SalixIncendium]

I could tell you what I do, but I'm far from normal, so it would likely be entirely unproductive to what you're looking for.

 

[ChristineM]

I could tell you what I do, but I'm far from normal, so it would likely be entirely unproductive to what you're looking for.

Hey, come on, (almost) anything goes here

 

[SalixIncendium]

Since @ChristineM asked so nicely:

Typical weekday:

• Wake up at 4am
• Meditate
• Get on the computer and check emails and daily numbers for work and skim over RF
• Breakfast
• Head to work
• Come home
• Catch up on emails
• Depending on mood, either get on RF for a bit or meditate
• Dinner
• Free time
• Go to bed at 9pm

Typical Saturday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Start laundry
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
• Breakfast
• Play on RF til laundry is done
• Clean house
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

Typical Sunday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
  
• Breakfast
• Play on RF
• 2.5 mile walk
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

No OCD here. Nope. None at all.

 

[ChristineM]

Since @ChristineM asked so nicely:

Typical weekday:

• Wake up at 4am
• Meditate
• Get on the computer and check emails and daily numbers for work and skim over RF
• Breakfast
• Head to work
• Come home
• Catch up on emails
• Depending on mood, either get on RF for a bit or meditate
• Dinner
• Free time
• Go to bed at 9pm

Typical Saturday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Start laundry
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
• Breakfast
• Play on RF til laundry is done
• Clean house
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

Typical Sunday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
  
• Breakfast
• Play on RF
• 2.5 mile walk
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

No OCD here. Nope. None at all.

Sounds like a pretty normal but exciting day

 

[Daemon Sophic]

Since @ChristineM asked so nicely:

Typical weekday:

• Wake up at 4am
• Meditate
• Get on the computer and check emails and daily numbers for work and skim over RF
• Breakfast
• Head to work
• Come home
• Catch up on emails
• Depending on mood, either get on RF for a bit or meditate
• Dinner
• Free time
• Go to bed at 9pm

Typical Saturday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Start laundry
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
• Breakfast
• Play on RF til laundry is done
• Clean house
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

Typical Sunday

• Wake up at between 4 and 5am
• Meditate
• Get on computer and check emails and daily numbers for work
  
• Breakfast
• Play on RF
• 2.5 mile walk
• Free time
• Dinner
• Free time

No OCD here. Nope. None at all.

OK. So other than the early rise and mediation before breakfast (which I would interpret as “freetime”) then you are much less active/busywork than my wife. Actually your days after 06:30 seem pretty nice to me. Kind of relaxed.

 

[SalixIncendium]

OK. So other than the early rise and mediation before breakfast (which I would interpret as “freetime”) then you are much less active/busywork than my wife. Actually your days after 06:30 seem pretty nice to me. Kind of relaxed.

The joy of living alone.

 

[Daemon Sophic]

I am quite OCD when it comes to cleaning and cooking but i like to get it all done in the mornings and have the rest of the day in pleasurable pastimes. That means i am up each morning at 5:30 (6:30 during the lockdown, i could get used to it)

Hubby needs driving but once kick started he does what needs doing.

Before we retired we both worked full time and had a housekeeper to manage the house. With retirement we promised ourselves we would do it all ourselves. Its been a steep learning curve, reading how to do basic diy diy and failing until we go it right. Even discovering what cleaning products to use where, i think we have it all (almost all) sorted out now.

Yeah. Before Covid-19 we had a housekeeper too. My wife has often stated that hiring the housekeeper is a marriage-saving action.
So you seem to consider having at least some freetime (more than 10 minutes looking at SNL shorts on YouTube at bedrime) to be essential. Yeah?

 

[Secret Chief]

My wife is a bit of an OCD control freak who is constantly looking for the next project to do, or to have me do.
I, on the other extreme, am male.

I fully believe and adhere to the axiom that you should give a difficult job to a lazy person and they will find an easier way to do it. Also, most problems will go away, if you just ignore them. If I had my druthers, I would get and up have breakfast, and then proceed to lounge around all day long before returning to bed at night. Mind you I am not a slob and I maintain a professional job and do it well. But on most days, when she is not at home, I will have at least several hours of ..... non-job/chores time to myself, or at least be able to sit and watch a movie with the kids.

So how about you? Are you driven constantly to improve the house, recheck the finances, work in the yard, push the kids to improve their schoolwork and their lives, or improve your workplace? Do you get up in the morning and work, work, work, until you collapse into bed late at night? Or do you, on average, set aside or conveniently have time to relax and enjoy yourself?
I’m wondering what is normal.

I can relate so much to this post it is scary. I shall concoct a full response in due course. But me, being like you, won't be getting round to it till I can't think of any more nothing that I need to (not) do. In the meantime, I fear my partner has discovered another essential task that needs to be carried out. I've yet to discover who will be doing it, but I'm keeping my head down. (This covid has got a lot to answer for).

 

[sun rise]

I can do both activity and relaxing.

Before I retired, I was called and agreed that I was a stress freak. I still have a button "high on stress" that indicated my attitude around work.

When I was not at work, I was often collapsed in later years and did not want to do much of anything.

Now that I'm retired, before the pandemic, I did volunteer work 5-6 days a week and relaxed other times.

Now I'm coming to the end of feeling a bit bored and itchy and as a result going through every bit of my clothing separating it into keep or give away, chunks of the junk in the garage doing the same, attacking weeds with malice aforethought and so forth.

Next? We'll see.

 

[Sunstone]

I watched a movie on Amazon a couple nights ago. It might have been the first movie I've watched anywhere since last Christmas. I used to love movies, but I've become indifferent to all but the rarest ones.

I like to combine work and play. Since I am retired, I have few genuine obligations besides running the kids off my lawn. But I tend to fill my days with as many activities as reasonable, and I tend to approach them in a spirit of both work and play.

Lately, I have been spending about a quarter to a half of my discretionary time working on a book I hope to publish 12 to 18 months from now. At this point, the work mostly involves research -- reading other books, articles, etc. -- all the while taking notes and jotting down ideas and questions to follow up on. It is crucial to fill up many, many steno books with notes and ideas so I have something concrete to throw in the dumpster at 3:15 AM when I at last realize I have spent months barking up the wrong tree. "So the Theory of Relativity wasn't really about morality after all. No wonder I couldn't find the sexy parts!"

I spend only a bit less time on RF annoying the staff (and probably everyone else). Next month, I want to see if I can work in a little portrait or landscape painting, but it's not looking likely to happen at this point.

Every few months I keep a log for a week or so of how I use my discretionary time. I'm usually wasting between 20% and 25% of my 'discretionary day'. But disciplining myself to do better would be work without the play. At my age, I'm not likely to withstand the shock of work without play, so there ain't no way I'm going improve my time management anytime soon. I have my limits, and they are usually spelled, @SalixIncendium's Fashion Sense REAL work.

 

[ChristineM]

Yeah. Before Covid-19 we had a housekeeper too. My wife has often stated that hiring the housekeeper is a marriage-saving action.
So you seem to consider having at least some freetime (more than 10 minutes looking at SNL shorts on YouTube at bedrime) to be essential. Yeah?

We worked 12 hours + a day and what saved our marriage was not a housekeeper but an understanding husband.

And bed time is not for watching YouTube

 

[Secret Chief]

My partner is at home because of lockdown and with an underlying health condition is likely going to be off for months, rather than weeks (2 months and counting). We are very different in domestic outlook. She can see dust where I can see none. She can see jobs that need doing that I am unaware of. When she points one out I probably won't agree it needs doing. IMO if it isn't broke, there's no job. Like you, @Daemon Sophic, it isn't lazyness, it's efficiency. I've worked all my life; desk jobs, manual jobs, pressures, long commutes, worked away from home, 60 hour weeks. But as to home: if I have the basics I'm happy; any more is a waste of time, money, effort. I don't need to go out shopping for yet more cushions to match the new accent wall. My time is precious - I should be at home listening to Scriabin and eating biscuits. I don't wish to live under a hedge but I've never bought into the endless house improvements mindset. Why recycle via the back of the house if you just keeping bringing more stuff in through the front of the house? Most improvents are improvements in name only, more cosmetic than actually required. The shower works, so we don't need a new one. So yes, very different attitudes. This lockdown is playing havoc with my finely tuned bohemian non-working day. What's normal for males doesn't seem the same normal for females. My friends have pretty much similar attitudes. Hurry up with that vaccine.

I'd say more, but I CBA.