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Fat Matt Jokes!

Spiderman

Veteran Member
I pray that mods allow people to abuse me and make fun of me on this thread.

I exist to make you feel better about yourself at my expense .

My name is Matt.

So you tell a "fat Matt joke" perhaps?

Why can't fat Matt be president? He can't hold a job for four years.
;)

What does fat Matt do in the summer time?

Stink! :p
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
What does fat Matt with a College degree, a wife, a car, children, a full time job, a house.....and Santa Claus have in common?

They are both fictional characters. :D
 

PoetPhilosopher

Veteran Member
I don't want to say something mean. On the other hand, I hope my not saying something mean, doesn't tip the scale too much. :)
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
My caseworker had to give them to the pet shop . :(

I will buy them back if it's the last thing I do when I finish treatment though.

They are so soo sooo pretty!!!:heart:. And precious!!!

I look forward to seeing more videos when you get it sorted out. Seems like a good and achievable goal to set for yourself.
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
I look forward to seeing more videos when you get it sorted out. Seems like a good and achievable goal to set for yourself.
I never knew you watched those.

Have you seen them bite me?.

I bless their venom and pray for the grace to be more of a Spiderman. Perhaps in the next life.

I love spider venom. I'm serious. :smilingimp:
 

John53

I go leaps and bounds
Premium Member
I never knew you watched those.

Have you seen them bite me?.

I bless their venom and pray for the grace to be more of a Spiderman. Perhaps in the next life.

I love spider venom. I'm serious. :smilingimp:

I've watched at least 2 you posted here but I don't remember seeing one where you got bitten.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
suit-and-tie.jpg
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
I've watched at least 2 you posted here but I don't remember seeing one where you got bitten.
This is what my spider dealer called a "pitbull" because it wouldn't let go. He refused to tell me what species it was, but I sound drunk in the video because it was years ago.

I now wouldn't let a spider dangle on me from his fangs, incase Spidey doesn't enjoy it, but it's a very interesting sensation that feels like electric shock therapy from the tip of my finger to my shoulder.


I've grown a lot since I made that channel, so try not to judge, I was just hoping spider venom, blessed venom would turn me into the spider man the locals called me.

I want to show you the highly aggressive ornamental baboon tarantula attack me some day.

I feel they enjoy being the victor and exercising ownership on their master.

In the video, I can't get the spider to let go. It was like a beautiful nightmare come true. :)
 

Spiderman

Veteran Member
Have you worn a suit and tie to court?
I ask someone to help with the tie.

Now that you mention it, I have been in situations where you have to wear a tie and suit, like "Life Challenge" at Amarillo Texas.

I was there for only a week. I should know how to wear a tie.:confused:
 
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