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Fat Matt Jokes!

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by Spiderman, Sep 24, 2021.

  1. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    I pray that mods allow people to abuse me and make fun of me on this thread.

    I exist to make you feel better about yourself at my expense .

    My name is Matt.

    So you tell a "fat Matt joke" perhaps?

    Why can't fat Matt be president? He can't hold a job for four years.
    ;)

    What does fat Matt do in the summer time?

    Stink! :p
     
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  2. John53

    John53 Well-Known Member

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    What if I want to be nice?
     
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  3. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    What does fat Matt with a College degree, a wife, a car, children, a full time job, a house.....and Santa Claus have in common?

    They are both fictional characters. :D
     
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  4. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    Say something nice. Either way, you get a hug for being nice.:hugehug:
     
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  5. John53

    John53 Well-Known Member

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    Still got your spiders?
     
  6. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I don't want to say something mean. On the other hand, I hope my not saying something mean, doesn't tip the scale too much. :)
     
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  7. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    My caseworker had to give them to the pet shop . :(

    I will buy them back if it's the last thing I do when I finish treatment though.

    They are so soo sooo pretty!!!:heart:. And precious!!!
     
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  8. John53

    John53 Well-Known Member

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    I look forward to seeing more videos when you get it sorted out. Seems like a good and achievable goal to set for yourself.
     
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  9. The Hammer

    The Hammer Frog Lord
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    Be kind to yourself
     
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  10. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    I never knew you watched those.

    Have you seen them bite me?.

    I bless their venom and pray for the grace to be more of a Spiderman. Perhaps in the next life.

    I love spider venom. I'm serious. :smilingimp:
     
  11. John53

    John53 Well-Known Member

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    I've watched at least 2 you posted here but I don't remember seeing one where you got bitten.
     
  12. danieldemol

    danieldemol Well-Known Member
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    Since I'm Australian I can make this joke.

    What do you call an Aussie on your doorstep?

    Mat
     
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  13. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    suit-and-tie.jpg
     
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  14. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    This is what my spider dealer called a "pitbull" because it wouldn't let go. He refused to tell me what species it was, but I sound drunk in the video because it was years ago.

    I now wouldn't let a spider dangle on me from his fangs, incase Spidey doesn't enjoy it, but it's a very interesting sensation that feels like electric shock therapy from the tip of my finger to my shoulder.



    I've grown a lot since I made that channel, so try not to judge, I was just hoping spider venom, blessed venom would turn me into the spider man the locals called me.

    I want to show you the highly aggressive ornamental baboon tarantula attack me some day.

    I feel they enjoy being the victor and exercising ownership on their master.

    In the video, I can't get the spider to let go. It was like a beautiful nightmare come true. :)
     
  15. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    Me giving away my pink salmon bird eater to a lady on a train.

     
  16. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    Helping kids overcome arachnophobia
     
  17. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    This one is worth watching

     
  18. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    And when I'm wearing a suit and tie, they say, "may the defendant please rise".

    :p

    But I appreciate your confidence. :)
     
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  19. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
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    Have you worn a suit and tie to court?
     
  20. Spiderman

    Spiderman Veteran Member

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    I ask someone to help with the tie.

    Now that you mention it, I have been in situations where you have to wear a tie and suit, like "Life Challenge" at Amarillo Texas.

    I was there for only a week. I should know how to wear a tie.:confused:
     
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