Family? Values?

[J Bryson]

This seems like an appropriate topic to start on Mothers' Day.

When I was growing up, the religious right was just getting warmed up to the idea of "family values". What this was generally meant to indicate seemed to have something to do with prayer in schools, no nudity or swearing in art and literature, and the overturning of Roe v. Wade. The family next door was huge on this concept, and included being anti-school busing into the mix.

My family was comfortably agnostic. My parents and I did not believe in school prayer (at least the kind led by the teacher), had an open attitude towards nudity and swearing within certain limits, and were entirely pro-choice. Also, I took the bus across town to go to an integrated school. All of these beliefs stemmed from long and hard thought and contemplation. They were strongly held values, and we considered them to be moral.

This was my family. These were our values. And yet somehow the concept of family values, or moral values, has been taken over by a single set of people who proclaim them from the highest steps. It's only recently that progressives have managed to regain some ground. To this day, when one thinks of family values, the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of this world come to mind before any secular or even non-Christian figure.

Why is this? And how are the beliefs of others generally considered to be "moral values" while my moral values are not?

 

[themadhair]

Why is this? And how are the beliefs of others generally considered to be "moral values" while my moral values are not?

To me this is due to a very simple, and likely contentious, reason – the average person doesn’t think about these types of issues and takes whatever PR there is to hand or what their pastor/rolemodel says to make his/her decision on the matter.

How many people actually think about their actions and their morality deeply enough to have avoided using appeals to authority, appeals to tradition, appeals to the divine or appeals to <insert your favourite fallacy here> to justify their values? How many people have thought about their values on any meaningful level? I’m guessing not a lot.

 

[Storm]

Wow, madhair, you make me feel like an optimist!

To the op, one word: marketing.

 

[whereismynotecard]

This seems like an appropriate topic to start on Mothers' Day.

When I was growing up, the religious right was just getting warmed up to the idea of "family values". What this was generally meant to indicate seemed to have something to do with prayer in schools, no nudity or swearing in art and literature, and the overturning of Roe v. Wade. The family next door was huge on this concept, and included being anti-school busing into the mix.

My family was comfortably agnostic. My parents and I did not believe in school prayer (at least the kind led by the teacher), had an open attitude towards nudity and swearing within certain limits, and were entirely pro-choice. Also, I took the bus across town to go to an integrated school. All of these beliefs stemmed from long and hard thought and contemplation. They were strongly held values, and we considered them to be moral.

This was my family. These were our values. And yet somehow the concept of family values, or moral values, has been taken over by a single set of people who proclaim them from the highest steps. It's only recently that progressives have managed to regain some ground. To this day, when one thinks of family values, the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of this world come to mind before any secular or even non-Christian figure.

Why is this? And how are the beliefs of others generally considered to be "moral values" while my moral values are not?

Maybe it is a majority rules kind of thing.

 

[J Bryson]

whereismynotecard, I fear that you may be right. However, are they really a majority? Most Americans are pro-choice within certain limits, are generally fine with this whole freedom of speech thing, and don't really care about the skin color of the kid sitting next to their children in class (or at least won't admit it to themselves), or care if the nice man living next door marries another nice man (at least until the ad campaigns whip up enough fear). And yet somehow it's everyone else who has decided what "morality" is.

 

[challupa]

whereismynotecard, I fear that you may be right. However, are they really a majority? Most Americans are pro-choice within certain limits, are generally fine with this whole freedom of speech thing, and don't really care about the skin color of the kid sitting next to their children in class (or at least won't admit it to themselves), or care if the nice man living next door marries another nice man (at least until the ad campaigns whip up enough fear). And yet somehow it's everyone else who has decided what "morality" is.

Maybe it's just because those who are fearful yell the loudest for attention and get it?

 

[Kathryn]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

 

[challupa]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Yes, what she said!

 

[ChristineES]

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Yeah! Plus, the loudest is the one who gets heard. The more there are, the louder they are.
I was an agnostic back in high school (or at least I think I was). I was still pro-life back then.

 

[Trey of Diamonds]

Yeah! Plus, the loudest is the one who gets heard. The more there are, the louder they are.

Not sure I agree with the "the more there are" part. The minority tends to shout the loudest because they feel it's necessary to be heard.

I see the religious right's desire to own the term Family Values as a theft. They are stealing the term in a self righteous attempt to impose their values on others. If they can claim the terminology first they can then claim that Far Right Christian Values are the only Family Values. I reject their values and their claims.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

To this day, when one thinks of family values, the James Dobsons and Pat Robertsons of this world come to mind before any secular or even non-Christian figure.

Why is this? And how are the beliefs of others generally considered to be "moral values" while my moral values are not?

Throughout the 80's and 90's, conservatives were much more proficient and adept at applying language framing, and other rhetorical tools, to manipulate peoples' associations on an emotional level. Unfortunately, while liberals and moderates were trying to communicate facts, conservatives understood that people, as a whole, didn't care about facts, but about how your message made them feel.

Conservatives had little respect for the American people, and, additionally, had no compunction about being intellectually dishonest. This combination allowed them to phrase language to the point of absurdity. For example, incredibly anti-environmental legislation with names like "Healthy Forests" and "Clear Skies".

 

[Falvlun]

It is interesting how Christians have co-opted the term "family". There's a chain of bookstores called "Family Books" or something like that. By "Family" they mean "Christian"; and this is just one example.

It is brilliant, really. No one is really against the concept of family. So you take a term that people are naturally inclined to be for, and attach some of your own meanings to it. And then, when people are against those extra meanings that you attached, you can then claim that they are "anti-family".

 

[Bedlam]

It is interesting how Christians have co-opted the term "family". There's a chain of bookstores called "Family Books" or something like that. By "Family" they mean "Christian"; and this is just one example.

It is brilliant, really. No one is really against the concept of family. So you take a term that people are naturally inclined to be for, and attach some of your own meanings to it. And then, when people are against those extra meanings that you attached, you can then claim that they are "anti-family".

Marketed as "family" albums, check out this pathetic attempt to proselytize children.

 

[Enoch07]

Why is this? And how are the beliefs of others generally considered to be "moral values" while my moral values are not?

Moral values are pretty much the same regardless of your faith/beliefs. I.E. stealing is wrong, murder is wrong, telling lies is wrong, adultery is wrong, coveting a.k.a stalking is wrong, and the list goes on. I do not know what you consider moral values or not, but common sense dictates what is wrong or not regardless of your faith.

 

[Kathryn]

Moral values are pretty much the same regardless of your faith/beliefs. I.E. stealing is wrong, murder is wrong, telling lies is wrong, adultery is wrong, coveting a.k.a stalking is wrong, and the list goes on. I do not know what you consider moral values or not, but common sense dictates what is wrong or not regardless of your faith.

Well-stated!

What good mother doesn't teach her children NOT to steal candy from the corner store? What good dad doesn't teach his kids not to bully others? What good aunt doesn't encourage her 12 year old niece not to be a whore? What good uncle doesn't encourage his nephew not to abuse drugs?

Come on - most "family values" are a matter of common sense. In my family, the family values I learned, and passed on to my kids, boiled down to this basic belief: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey, Jesus said that! Hide the poor little atheist kids away from this horrible, horrible concept! It might erode THEIR family values!

 

[blackout]

family values, is whatever things ANY particular family happens to value.


Some people show their illusory power by "coining phrases" and "calling" ownership/definition of them.

 

[Storm]

Moral values are pretty much the same regardless of your faith/beliefs. I.E. stealing is wrong, murder is wrong, telling lies is wrong, adultery is wrong, coveting a.k.a stalking is wrong, and the list goes on. I do not know what you consider moral values or not, but common sense dictates what is wrong or not regardless of your faith.

Well-stated!

What good mother doesn't teach her children NOT to steal candy from the corner store? What good dad doesn't teach his kids not to bully others? What good aunt doesn't encourage her 12 year old niece not to be a whore? What good uncle doesn't encourage his nephew not to abuse drugs?

Come on - most "family values" are a matter of common sense. In my family, the family values I learned, and passed on to my kids, boiled down to this basic belief: Love God and love your neighbor as yourself.

Hey, Jesus said that! Hide the poor little atheist kids away from this horrible, horrible concept! It might erode THEIR family values!

This is just disingenuous. We all know, and the OP detailed that the right uses "family values" as code for a political agenda that is far from universal. Pretending otherwise is pointless.

 

[Enoch07]

This is just disingenuous. We all know, and the OP detailed that the right uses "family values" as code for a political agenda that is far from universal. Pretending otherwise is pointless.

The point is moral values are the same regardless of your faith. If your "moral values" allow you to steal, cheat, lie, murder/maim, etc. Then they are not moral values. And if your taught by your family to be that way then your whole family is corrupt and should be imprisoned for child neglect. So.....if you have real moral values then there is no agenda to be used against you.

 

[Storm]

I repeat, that's just disingenuous.

 

[themadhair]

Pretty good article on this on wiki:
Family values - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Social and religious conservatives often use the term "family values" to promote conservative ideology that supports traditional morality or values. American Christians often see their religion as the source of morality and consider the nuclear family to be an essential element in society. Some conservative family values advocates believe the government should endorse Christian morality, for example by displaying the Ten Commandments or allowing teachers to conduct prayers in public schools. Religious conservatives often view the United States as a "Christian nation". For example, the American Family Association, says "The American Family Association exists to motivate and equip citizens to change the culture to reflect Biblical truth and traditional family values." These groups variously oppose abortion, pornography, pre-marital sex, homosexuality, some aspects of feminism, cohabitation, and depictions of sexuality in the media.

A less common use of the phrase "family values" is by some liberals, who have used the phrase to support such values as family planning, affordable child care, and maternity leave. For example, groups such as People For the American Way, Planned Parenthood, and Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays have attempted to define the concept in a way that promotes the acceptance of single-parent families, same-sex monogamous relationships and marriage. This understanding of family values does not promote conservative morality, instead focusing on encouraging and supporting alternative family structures, access to contraception, abortion, increasing the minimum wage, sex education, childcare, and parent-friendly employment laws, which provide for maternity leave and leave for medical emergencies involving children.
…
Typically, the term is used by the media to refer to Christian values, but in a 1998 Harris survey it was defined as "loving, taking care of, and supporting each other" by 52% of women and 42% of men, as "knowing right from wrong and having good values" by 38% of women and 35% of men, and as the traditional family by 2% of women and 1% men. The survey also noted that 93% of women thought that society should value all types of families.

Whenever I hear the phrase ‘family values’ I think of groups like ‘Focus on the Family’ that advocate crap like prayer in schools, banning same-sex marriages and even corporal punishment (for the sceptics who doubt that last one). Basically I think of evangelical groups who, though this false and disingenuous concept of ‘family values’, attempt to proselytise and spread Christian values.