Faith in Adversity

[Kapalika]

Since becoming homeless again just a week ago, still not back on hormones (but will be fixed soon) and not sure when I'll find a job, I've kind of started questioning some things.

Not about my beliefs or my faith, but about how I've practiced, how much is this different really? From all the years and time wasted on trivial things? Is this really that different?

No, it's not.

Years ago, I was told to run away and wander on a specific path. I didn't do it, and sometimes I keep feeling like this is my opportunity to do that, if it's right.

But I'm not sure, and I actually find a lot of what I'm going through kind of demoralizing. It's the lack of being able to meet some basic needs... and then I remember that when I was on hormones and other stuff things were much better, made sense in a way that didn't before. I can't do what I'm supposed to unless I can get to where I can speak in clarity.

And yet in the meantime it's my religion that keeps me sane, that I find is that which grounds me in some sense of clarity despite my situation. I know it's temporary and through living by my principles and keeping my dignity and worth I've gained friends I didn't have before who've been a help.

But some one of my new friend from the last month say I'm a "fanatic", which I took as a compliment. Is this bad? To have conviction? Yes, I am kind of vocal about my beliefs... but that is because I BELIEVE why would I hide how I think the world, the mind, the soul and heart functions? About what is divine and what is important?

Perhaps, the adversity has strengthened my faith by having me challenge assumptions, reexamine things and all this free time. I am left with little more than me and religion, often. In the past I was t trapped. It felt like adversity but it wasn't, but simply living in a place and way that was crippling me and my ability to practice my religion. It's why I had to get out.

Is that such a bad thing? And what of you? How has your faith fared in adversity? And when trapped?

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Since becoming homeless again just a week ago, still not back on hormones (but will be fixed soon) and not sure when I'll find a job, I've kind of started questioning some things.

Not about my beliefs or my faith, but about how I've practiced, how much is this different really? From all the years and time wasted on trivial things? Is this really that different?

No, it's not.

Years ago, I was told to run away and wander on a specific path. I didn't do it, and sometimes I keep feeling like this is my opportunity to do that, if it's right.

But I'm not sure, and I actually find a lot of what I'm going through kind of demoralizing. It's the lack of being able to meet some basic needs... and then I remember that when I was on hormones and other stuff things were much better, made sense in a way that didn't before. I can't do what I'm supposed to unless I can get to where I can speak in clarity.

And yet in the meantime it's my religion that keeps me sane, that I find is that which grounds me in some sense of clarity despite my situation. I know it's temporary and through living by my principles and keeping my dignity and worth I've gained friends I didn't have before who've been a help.

But some one of my new friend from the last month say I'm a "fanatic", which I took as a compliment. Is this bad? To have conviction? Yes, I am kind of vocal about my beliefs... but that is because I BELIEVE why would I hide how I think the world, the mind, the soul and heart functions? About what is divine and what is important?

Perhaps, the adversity has strengthened my faith by having me challenge assumptions, reexamine things and all this free time. I am left with little more than me and religion, often. In the past I was t trapped. It felt like adversity but it wasn't, but simply living in a place and way that was crippling me and my ability to practice my religion. It's why I had to get out.

Is that such a bad thing? And what of you? How has your faith fared in adversity? And when trapped?

To tell you honesty, in the middle of my situation, I never had a faith I put my whole trust in. When I was christian, I never felt a need to be saved so I'm religiously isolated.

What I did realize (after reading a thread here, made me revisit) is thinking of becoming a member of the Universal Unitarian Church. I'm trying to go more often to get a feel of the church near me since it's the only one. I believe being part of that church, I can do what I always wanted to do was to help LGBTQ, support, and advocate through the Justice part of the UU church.

With adversity, being part of, and acting with the church will help a lot in how I interact with people around me. They have so many resources and the fact everything is centered around "the god of our understanding" however translated, gives comfort.

I wish I had this insight during my medical years. I should hope one's beliefs and morals help them during adversity; as, that's basically the "home" you go back to. We have a lot of people who are homeless here; and, with a few, I known very well in group homes and such. What kept some going more than others wasn't how much food they have or where they slept. It was more how they were respected and where they put their faith.

Once you have a safe environment and values to live by, I assume other things will come together. I've never been in that type of position; but, all the people I speak with have that same line of thinking.

 

[crossfire]

I would say Faith is better for your mind than depression is.

 

[Kapalika]

It was more how they were respected and where they put their faith.

This. I think it's the part where people loose their dignity and self respect, when the really bad things start to happen to them like drug addiction ect. And people see it too, and will respect you if you respect yourself, is what I've seen. A few will always judge you harshly and assume things but those are a very small minority in my experience.

I would say Faith is better for your mind than depression is.

Ha! True.

 

[GoldenThread]

Since becoming homeless again just a week ago, still not back on hormones (but will be fixed soon) and not sure when I'll find a job, I've kind of started questioning some things.

Not about my beliefs or my faith, but about how I've practiced, how much is this different really? From all the years and time wasted on trivial things? Is this really that different?

No, it's not.

Years ago, I was told to run away and wander on a specific path. I didn't do it, and sometimes I keep feeling like this is my opportunity to do that, if it's right.

But I'm not sure, and I actually find a lot of what I'm going through kind of demoralizing. It's the lack of being able to meet some basic needs... and then I remember that when I was on hormones and other stuff things were much better, made sense in a way that didn't before. I can't do what I'm supposed to unless I can get to where I can speak in clarity.

And yet in the meantime it's my religion that keeps me sane, that I find is that which grounds me in some sense of clarity despite my situation. I know it's temporary and through living by my principles and keeping my dignity and worth I've gained friends I didn't have before who've been a help.

But some one of my new friend from the last month say I'm a "fanatic", which I took as a compliment. Is this bad? To have conviction? Yes, I am kind of vocal about my beliefs... but that is because I BELIEVE why would I hide how I think the world, the mind, the soul and heart functions? About what is divine and what is important?

Perhaps, the adversity has strengthened my faith by having me challenge assumptions, reexamine things and all this free time. I am left with little more than me and religion, often. In the past I was t trapped. It felt like adversity but it wasn't, but simply living in a place and way that was crippling me and my ability to practice my religion. It's why I had to get out.

Is that such a bad thing? And what of you? How has your faith fared in adversity? And when trapped?

Tribulation and persecution is what refines ones faith in what they believe.

If it only takes someone to ' huff and puff' to blow your house down, then it wasn't strong to begin with. If you are able to go through difficult times and keep your faith, then that is what makes something worth believing in.

If you don't have a belief worth dying for, then you might as well have no belief at all. Our belief is forever in limbo... just waiting to be pushed over the edge.

On the other hand, a faith that has with stand the wind storm of life - will be something that can shake the very foundation of this world if, preached and practiced.

Needless to say, I've found such belief.