GardenLady
Active Member
My parents are 93 and 99. I have come to the conclusion that lying to them is not immoral--if it gives them peace in their last years rather than worrying or battling through, I think that's okay. I may end up paing some bills for extra services that my Dad doesn't want to pay for, and not telling him, to ensure he gets what he needs.
Looking at their lives--a smaller world, disabilities, limitations, dependency, $180K/year for assisted living for two--I don't want to live that way. I said to my husband, "When I'm 90, buy me a case of champagne and put me out to sea on an ice floe." But I was raised to believe that suicide is morally wrong. On the other hand, I suppose declining medical treatment is perhaps more permissible--saying, for example, I'm not taking meds anymore, etc.
Perhaps I'm just exhausted as the local "child" who just spent another several hours this evening at at ER with one of them. But I find myself contemplating the morality of end-of-life choices. And I don't think that extending life when quality of life is gone is a good choice.
I'd be interested in hearing from others on this, especially those who have been in the caregiver role for very elderly parents.
Looking at their lives--a smaller world, disabilities, limitations, dependency, $180K/year for assisted living for two--I don't want to live that way. I said to my husband, "When I'm 90, buy me a case of champagne and put me out to sea on an ice floe." But I was raised to believe that suicide is morally wrong. On the other hand, I suppose declining medical treatment is perhaps more permissible--saying, for example, I'm not taking meds anymore, etc.
Perhaps I'm just exhausted as the local "child" who just spent another several hours this evening at at ER with one of them. But I find myself contemplating the morality of end-of-life choices. And I don't think that extending life when quality of life is gone is a good choice.
I'd be interested in hearing from others on this, especially those who have been in the caregiver role for very elderly parents.