Excuse my ignorance, but a question about lesbians

[Alceste]

My mom and I like to try to "clock" people we see in the media and on the street as being gay or not. We like to think we're good at being able to tell and I guess we kind of are due to the large amount of gay queens we've known. Lol. But then I tease my mom by saying that she just thinks that everyone is gay except for her. Lol.



Hahaha. Why did Leo think Joe was gay?

He didn't. Joe is his cousin, and so am I. When he said "my cousin's partner", he was referring to me, but I wasn't there. Total misunderstanding. A plot fit for Three's Company. Everybody went Al Roper on my poor husband.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

He didn't. Joe is his cousin, and so am I. When he said "my cousin's partner", he was referring to me, but I wasn't there. Total misunderstanding. A plot fit for Three's Company. Everybody went Al Roper on my poor husband.

Ah! Thanks for clearing that up. That just makes the story even more of a funny mess.

 

[Reverend Rick]

I believe some folks think this to death. I don't care what people have between their legs or what they do in private.

You don't see most folks wondering what acts straight couples do. Why so much interest in GLBT folks?

Life is short, get over it. How boring would it be if everyone was the same?

 

[Jainarayan]

Ah, fair enough. I just hope that more and more people realize that having one sexual orientation or another doesn't mean that you'll look or act a certain way.

I think this will become the case as more people come out, and show how diverse gay people are, as diverse as, yet no different from anyone else.

There's a lot of fem straight guys, too, for example.

For sure. And then there are the straight or gay muscle guys who have a bit of a feminine manner. Personally I find those guys hot.

 

[Jainarayan]

I think maybe he's worried that effeminate looking men might try to sex him up. Little does he know, he should be watching out for bikers and yuppies!

Bikers and truckers! Woof! :drool:

That was my Christmas gift (the jacket not the guy, drat! ).

 

[Uberpod]

No, there's lots. There's whole subcultures of guys like that.

Do you have a source? There are straight guys who love My Little Pony I have heard.

One is in the closet and one isn't? I'm sorry, but the question doesn't mean much.

It might be the crucial question. If we track "straight" effeminate men and 90% of them come out as *men who sleep with men or want to* at some later point in their lives, would that mean something to you??

I believe it comes down to a convergence of gender atypical traits. The more the traits converge, the more sure we can be that we've *got a gay*, So for example, if a male has a feminine prance, delicate facial expressions, likes soap operas, hates sports, there is a high probability that we've got a gay. If a male has only one of these traits, the probability is lower, but still a higher chance as compared to someone with a more masculine constellation.

 

[Uberpod]

Er, the effeminate straight man likes women and the effeminate gay man likes men. Is it really that hard to figure out?

Yes , it is hard to assess when the only way we generally *know* is to rely on self-report. By definition a closeted gay man is not being honest. Break out the Penile Plethysmograph and then we may make an accurate assessment.

 

[Amandi]

Yes , it is hard to assess when the only way we generally *know* is to rely on self-report. By definition a closeted gay man is not being honest. Break out the Penile Plethysmograph and then we may make an accurate assessment.

Why do you need to assess anything? I never wonder if a person is attracted to a male or female.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Do you have a source? There are straight guys who love My Little Pony I have heard.

I already mentioned multiple subcultures where the guys involved tend to be towards the fem side. Pay attention.

It might be the crucial question. If we track "straight" effeminate men and 90% of them come out as *men who sleep with men or want to* at some later point in their lives, would that mean something to you??

I believe it comes down to a convergence of gender atypical traits. The more the traits converge, the more sure we can be that we've *got a gay*, So for example, if a male has a feminine prance, delicate facial expressions, likes soap operas, hates sports, there is a high probability that we've got a gay. If a male has only one of these traits, the probability is lower, but still a higher chance as compared to someone with a more masculine constellation.

Wow. Talk about creepy. You're obsessed.

 

[Uberpod]

Why do you need to assess anything? I never wonder if a person is attracted to a male or female.

You might not have a need. Those who claim that sexual orientation and gender atypicality have no relationship with one another must!

 

[Uberpod]

I already mentioned multiple subcultures where the guys involved tend to be towards the fem side. Pay attention.

I guess you did post something relevant AFTER the post I was responding to, so fine. Involvement in a subculture that has a feminine aesthetic is only one checkmark in the gender atypicality column. Those subcultures do indeed have a higher proportion of gay people as compared to the the general population. You can see which emos and goths got the gay if you look at their mannerisms and other interests.

Wow. Talk about creepy. You're obsessed.

I rather think that you are uncomfortable with a more thorough analysis because your impressions will likely be proven to be vague and nonreflective of reality.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I guess you did post something relevant AFTER the post I was responding to, so fine. Involvement in a subculture that has a feminine aesthetic is only one checkmark in the gender atypicality column. Those subcultures do indeed have a higher proportion of gay people as compared to the the general population. You can see which emos and goths got the gay if you look at their mannerisms and other interests.

Oh, really? Off the top of my head, the only gay people involved with the emo/post-hardcore scene that I can recall are Jeffree Star, his gaggle of queen friends and one of the guys in Blood on the Dance Floor. As for goth, the most prominent queer involved in that that I can name off the top of my head was Rozz Williams, who was bi. There's probably more, but I can't name them. Most of the guys involved in it are straight. If they're in the closet, I can't comment too much. I personally think that Davey Havok of AFI is at least bi but he's never stated clearly one way or the other, so no one can really make a sure declaration about him. But that's about it.

I rather think that you are uncomfortable with a more thorough analysis because your impressions will likely be proven to be vague and nonreflective of reality.

No, I'm more "uncomfortable" with the offensive language you're using ("got the gay" - wtf? are you 12?) and your apparent obsession with trying to find a surefire way to know the sexual orientation of a person whose behavior is not firmly gender normative (whatever you personally think that should be). Why do you care so much?

 

[Triumphant_Loser]

Bikers and truckers! Woof! :drool:

That was my Christmas gift (the jacket not the guy, drat! ).

If anyone's looking for any belated Christmas gifts, you can bring me Josh Hutcherson and/or Demi Lovato with little red bows on their heads.

 

[Uberpod]

No, I'm more "uncomfortable" with the offensive language you're using ("got the gay" - wtf? are you 12?) and your apparent obsession with trying to find a surefire way to know the sexual orientation of a person whose behavior is not firmly gender normative (whatever you personally think that should be). Why do you care so much?

You are going off on tangents based on my style of writing. If you don't like my humor, fine, but address the argument I am making. You also make unfounded assumptions about my beliefs and who I am , what I am about, instead of addressing what I actually say.

Nothing is surefire, but one approach will yield more accurate results than another. Just making sloppy conclusions based on general impressions, really does not advance your point of view. Do you see that saying that because there are exceptions to a general rule, lets forget the general ruleholds no water?

Generally speaking gay people carry other gender atypical traits along with the central gender atypical trait - who they are attracted to - that defines them. Pretending that this is not true does not advance the gay cause. There is truth in stereotypes, but they are not absolute truths.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

You are going off on tangents based on my style of writing. If you don't like my humor, fine, but address the argument I am making. You also make unfounded assumptions about my beliefs and who I am , what I am about, instead of addressing what I actually say.

No, there's really nothing funny about your choice of language. It's just stupid. You make it sound like homosexuality is an illness.

Nothing is surefire, but one approach will yield more accurate results than another. Just making sloppy conclusions based on general impressions, really does not advance your point of view. Do you see that saying that because there are exceptions to a general rule, lets forget the general ruleholds no water?

Generally speaking gay people carry other gender atypical traits along with the central gender atypical trait - who they are attracted to - that defines them. Pretending that this is not true does not advance the gay cause. There is truth in stereotypes, but they are not absolute truths.

So non-heterosexual people are more likely to be gender non-conforming in how they express themselves? Okay, but what is your point? It's not even known if that's necessarily true since there's LGB people who are gender normative, but I guess they're not really noticed. Honestly, people whose gender expression doesn't follow the norm tend to get much more attention than those who perform femininity and masculinity in an expected way. You are ignoring the "down low" scene which consists of men who have sex with men but who do not identify as gay or bisexual. No one knows how many men are a part of that phenomenon. Globally, there are probably more men who participate in homosexual sexual acts that don't identify as gay as there those who do.

 

[Triumphant_Loser]

Generally speaking gay people carry other gender atypical traits along with the central gender atypical trait - who they are attracted to - that defines them. Pretending that this is not true does not advance the gay cause. There is truth in stereotypes, but they are not absolute truths.

You've obviously never met Neil Patrick Harris, Rock Hudson, Freddie Mercury or Marlon Brando.

 

[Uberpod]

You've obviously never met Neil Patrick Harris, Rock Hudson, Freddie Mercury or Marlon Brando.

NPH is quite androgynous. Freddie Mercury is pretty queenie. (bad example) Rock Hudson is a good example of a masculine gay man. Brando was not gay.

And again- even good examples do not erase the general trend, now do they?

 

[Uberpod]

No, there's really nothing funny about your choice of language. It's just stupid. You make it sound like homosexuality is an illness.

For a transgendered person you seem pretty rigid.

So non-heterosexual people are more likely to be gender non-conforming in how they express themselves? Okay, but what is your point?

That is the point (it's true and there is nothing wrong with it, btw.) , and it is the opposite of what another post said which is the reason a mentioned it.

 

[Triumphant_Loser]

NPH is quite androgynous. Freddie Mercury is pretty queenie. (bad example) Rock Hudson is a good example of a masculine gay man. Brando was not gay.

And again- even good examples do not erase the general trend, now do they?

Technically Brando was bi, not gay, so I guess that wasn't a very good example for me to use, anyway, People seem to think all gay people are flamboyant, because that is the only ones that they actually notice. People never notice the masculine ones because everyone always assumes they are straight.

 

[Alceste]

Yes , it is hard to assess when the only way we generally *know* is to rely on self-report. By definition a closeted gay man is not being honest. Break out the Penile Plethysmograph and then we may make an accurate assessment.

Lol - that's the device that demonstrates the men most likely to be turned on by watching gay porn are the homophobes, not self identified straight men who are so comfortable with their sexual identity they let their inner tart shine through from time to time. I love that device. It does not lie.