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Ever experienced "Porn flashbacks?"

Discussion in 'Sexuality' started by Sutekh, Sep 18, 2018.

  1. Sutekh

    Sutekh Active Member
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    I was a lot worse in my freshman year in highschool, I took online schooling actually during that time. Back then I would Masturbate 6 times a day while skipping school work and watching my films.:laughing:

    Nowadays I might Masturbate probably 3 or 4 times.:laughing:
     
  2. Liu

    Liu Well-Known Member

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    Depends on the day. I don't think I ever did 6 separate sessions, but well, if you edge for 3 or 4 hours straight then that's not much better...

    Haven't skipped any lessons for it (at least no official stuff - I would be spending more time on teaching stuff to myself, though) - I must be ill in bed to skip any classes - but I sometimes work from home and there it started to become a problem. Not like it's not a problem already when it stops me from spending time on stuff I would rather like to do.

    Well, hoping my advises help you (and me).
     
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  3. Sutekh

    Sutekh Active Member
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    It was well written compared to most of the other posts on this thread that was a waste of time:rolleyes:. I am thinking of actually re doing this thread on the Order of the Serpents forum. But it seems that your post opened my mind a bit.:)
     
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  4. Liu

    Liu Well-Known Member

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    You are very welcome, thanks for that feedback (although, the comparison to the rest of the thread is not really much of a compliment :p). We surely can move that discussion over to the OS-forum, but since you haven't yet I'll continue here for now as I thought of another approach.

    Recently I by chance stumbled upon a recommendation for a completely different problem (namely anxiety/panic attacks) that might nevertheless also be useful for this issue:

    Your body may give you signals, but it's upon you to interpret how to best react to them.
    With anxiety, the bodily symptoms are not really different from simply being excited about something - rush of adrenaline, fast pulse, sweaty armpits, ... - so you can therefore when you notice these symptoms tell yourself it's because whatever it is that caused this simply agitates you, which is nothing to panic about.

    Similarly, when getting horny, your reaction might be to do something about it. But that would kinda be as if you were scratching an insect bite to get rid of the itch, only making it worse. Instead, acknowledge that there is nothing bad about feeling horny, and you don't need to do anything about it. Your body might tell you you need to, but that's only because of what you are used to. The more often you consciously decide against masturbating or watching porn, the easier it should become since you are creating a new pathway/habit of how to react. Instead just enjoy the feelings. You got them without any active contribution on your part, just from the contents of your psyche or from your surroundings, so you know there is no need to do anything about them and especially no necessity of additional stimuli. And since it does feel good, why would you even want to get rid of them by risking to cum? Just ease into it and relax. And feeling that pleasure while doing other things will also make doing them more enjoyable, won't it? So better do them now than having to do them without it.

    Not saying that changing your thought patterns and behaviour like this would be easy, but it might be that keeping this or a similar perspective on it in mind will make it easier at least.

    One further risk factor in my experience is tiredness as that can weaken your will and has the further disadvantage that you actually need rest but waste your resting time on porn. Here the meditating I mentioned above really helps a lot since while doing so you can simultaneously check whether you need rest and also gather the motivation to take a nap/go to bed if you come to that conclusion.
     
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  5. Sutekh

    Sutekh Active Member
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    @Liu I used to get a lot of anxiety during my youth which made me watch porn, I would often feel my heart pounding. The only way for me to stop it, was releasing myself. I don't necessarily have this anxiety issue anymore though. On the horny side of things, I would say that with me when i get horny I tend see the visual side of Porn in my mind which makes me want to watch Porno films. At times Iv'e experienced controlling these visuals in my mind, but its like a slippery slope for me to where I get back to watching porn.
     
  6. Sutekh

    Sutekh Active Member
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    Usually that never happens to me where I waste my time watching porn as a solution to resting at night. Though that has happened to me a couple of times before. My problem that I have are my friends my friends are cool people to hang with, but they over due it to the point that I come back home at 12 or 1 a.m. to crash in my bed.

    My friends don't hangout on occasions, they hangout all the time. I personally find it insane:grimacing:, for example we went paint balling. It was a good time, but after that my friends had other plans to hang later, we basically hanged from the morning to the night time. It was the longest experience Iv'e had with my friends all my life. I am personally taking a huge break away from my friends by choosing to isolate myself. Iv'e been thinking about going on a road trip out of town.
     
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  7. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Flashbacks are a part of porn as addiction. I am a porn addict and I do sex addicts anonymous meetings son the telephone and i have a woman sponsor.

    SAA is a part of the 12 Steps and require a little bit of spirituality depending on how you view it.

    Some a few very few but a few Atheists and agnostics go to our group but most folks believe in a higher power of some sort.

    If you don't want to be in a 12 Step programs some people get help for sex addiction through counseling and if you go to AA sex therapist someone who specializes in it some of them have group therapy for folks with sex addiction.

    Some have group therapy for folks with some sort of sexual issue which may or may not sex addiction and you can go to it.

    Also fitness and exercise helps a lot. I'm trying to walk. Walking helps a lot.

    I am also a sex addict inviting men to see me at home having sex with strangers I have also been involved with BDSM groups and also had a few BDSM sessions been involved with Polyamory groups and dated a Polyamorus guy.

    So I have done a bunch of stuff I also use to get paid for phone sex. For 3 days once I prostituted myself to truck drivers.

    You can privately contact me if you want and Ill send SAA info but if you don't want self help I strongly suggest counseling and or psychotherapy.

    We also have withdrawel dreams,my body craves sex and I will have a dream about sex see a sex scene and have an orgasm in my dream. But it only happens when I go without sex like I am now and my body is craving sex.
     
  8. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Caritas Christi Urget Nos
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    Well, you can form a dependency on or compulsion to use just about anything. For some people it's drugs and alcohol, for other it's video games, for some it's the Internet and smart phones and maybe for others it's porn. That doesn't mean that porn itself somehow causes physical addiction. That's not true. But if you feel you are unable to control yourself, you should consider seeing a mental health professional.
     
  9. Saint Frankenstein

    Saint Frankenstein Caritas Christi Urget Nos
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    I also want to add that there's still a lot of stigma against porn and even masturbation. There's nothing wrong with either of those things. Masturbation is certainly a normal and healthy behavior. You may think you have a problem but there may not be one in actuality. I don't know and am not a professional. But I can say that male sexuality tends to be more "visual" and males tend to have a need for visual stimulation in order to be aroused. So you may just be getting mental images of images or video you particularly enjoy in your mind when you're relaxing or feeling turned on. Then you might want to see it in order to finish it and take care of the urge. That's not strange or a problem in of itself. It's also fine to watch porn and masturbate before sleep because it's very relaxing. I definitely do that and go to sleep after.

    The only time it becomes a problem is if it's interfering with your daily life.
     
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  10. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    Without knowing the person personally its hard though to make a good clear judgement about whats going on. There maybe a lot more there so. A counselor can work with the OP to figure out if it is an addiction or not.
     
  11. Unveiled Artist

    Unveiled Artist My baby niece

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    Man! and I wanted an answer too. If porn is a mortal sin aligned with murder, how do they compare; how does the nature of a crime relate to professional actors having sex.

    Didnt get an answer yet... wondered if anyone knew the answer.
     
  12. Sutekh

    Sutekh Active Member
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    @Riders Sorry it's been a while going back on here at the forums. Thanks for your recommendation. I've lately been doing a lot better currently. Less porn watching and more working in my electrical trade.

    I still watch porn but not that much to a heavy degree as I used to. I currently live on a campus it's a bit like college, but it's helping me a lot being off porn.
     
  13. Twilight Hue

    Twilight Hue The gentle embrace of twilight has become my guide

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    I remember a gal that was having a lot of fun bouncing on an exercise ball.

    There was a tune playing with a particular drum beat.

    Whenever I hear that particular drum beat on any song on the radio, I immediately go back to that vid each and every time.

    Sadly I can't find it anymore. It's like I lost some good stress release therapy.
     
  14. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    good Im glad
     
  15. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    I also had a dependency on sex through Second Life virtual reality game which was a big part of y porn addiction as well. I was into BDSM through Second Life which can be mentally unhealthy for someone who's mentally ill like me.
     
  16. ChristineM

    ChristineM "Be strong" I whispered to my coffee.
    Premium Member It's My Birthday!

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    Despite all the comparisons with adultery and even murder ffs, (guilt the christian key to do as i say) porn, where all partners are willing is not a problem, i can even be a service.

    For me and hubby porn has taught 2 naive people how keep it together, fresh and interesting. Not addicted but we use it as a reference manual.

    My brother in law is addicted to porn. Those who tried to paint him with guilt and shame neatly killed him (such good christians) when he became so depressed at the condemnation that he tried to commit suicide. Friends and "advice" like those doom merchants fed him he can do without. And now does do without. So take no notice of those who try to manipulate your conscience.

    I would not call what he has flashbacks, more simply remembering particular scenes that meant something to him.
     
  17. Riders

    Riders Well-Known Member

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    I experience the flashbacks in dreams. The dream seems so vivid at times I wrongly wake up feeling I have relapsed and sometimes still with the sexual craving sexual pleasure going.Its torture.
     
  18. Liu

    Liu Well-Known Member

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    Since you brought this thread back up, let me also contribute to it again.

    There have been quite some improvements regarding my addiction since I last wrote here.
    For that, I mainly used two approaches:

    I designed a kind of reward system - I normally am completely forbidden from sexual activities, but can earn them for good behavior (specific kinds for specific deeds). And for each 1.5 months of keeping to that system, I get one day of using porn (which otherwise is completely forbidden with the exception of erotic hypnosis files).

    Yes, that means that I'm now in a BDSM-relationship with myself ;)

    That works really well, and I am really happy with it - less wasted time, being able to use sexual desire to motivate myself to do specific non-sexual tasks, ...
    The only problem was that I would still when getting aroused feel the urge to do something about it, instead of simply enjoying it.

    Therefore, I decided to use some hypnosis to help myself with that issue. It's a hypnosis file I've known for quite a while but I had considered myself not ready for it. But now that the desire for masturbation was the only negative aspect remaining of how I felt about sexuality I decided to give it a go. It works by having one mentally connect masturbation with feelings of nausea. And it works really well, I listened to it 4 or 5 times a few weeks ago, once a day at most, and still now just writing this makes me slightly queasy.
    I have been careful to connect nausea only to normal masturbation, so other ways of getting sexual pleasure are still open to me. I even removed some parts from the file that I was not comfortable with or that seemed unnecessary for my situation.

    And well, by this amateur aversion-therapy I now am masturbation-repulsed instead of -addicted, and I couldn't be happier. It's awesome to be horny all the time and nevertheless not feel any desire to masturbate. I hope this is permanent.
    And other ways of getting sexual pleasure are enticing enough to serve as motivations but do not cause such strong cravings. Since they involve things besides my own body I can also much more easily think of them as something that I first need to earn.

    If anyone reading this considers this something they want to try out themselves, be aware that I would only recommend this if you have done enough reflection on how your psyche works and are confident that this will be compatible with it, because I can easily see this causing damage to someone not prepared for it. The file even makes sure to try and throw one out of trance if one isn't entirely certain. So only search for it and listen to it if you really know what you are doing to yourself and truly desire to basically mutilate your sexuality in this way.
     
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