Ettiquette for Church

[johnnys4life]

I have a very important question. (Well, it's important to me at least). I have only been to a Catholic church twice in my life, and the first time I don't really remember because I was just a kid, the other time I felt really out of place, like I was doing something wrong or forgetting to do something right. Nobody seemed to notice me, but I still felt awkward. The Catholic church in my neighborhood has a special prayer service on the first wednesday of each month. I would like to go, or possibly even to a regular mass some time, but I am a little hesitant.
So this is my question, would I be welcome there since I am not a Catholic? And, how can I avoid making a mistake and doing or saying something to offend or embarrass myself and/or others. In other words, is there any special Catholic ettiquette I should know about before I visit the church?

 

[Ardhanariswar]

just be respectful and do what everyone else does. i havent been to a church, besides my friends first communion, but as a student of a prep school, i have to go to school mass once a month. but i dont take communion, occasionally i sometimes go up and cross my arms over my chest and recieve a blessing. God is God, it doesnt matter what faith, blessings are always welcome!

dont be hesitiant, you are a devotee of God. if you dont know what goin on, just ask someone. basically they should be nice, they wont bite, their catholics.

 

[Scott1]

johnny's girl,

I can understand your feeling out of place at a Catholic mass. Growing up I had occasion to attend a few masses. Every time I felt like everyone knew that I was not a Catholic and looked down upon me for not being so......
....... but I never forgot how different (and wonderfully so) it was than my Protestant church.

About two years ago, after years of being agnostic/atheist, I had what Protestants would call a “born-again” experience. I accepted Christ into my life and began to study Scripture and early church history. After about six months, my studies led me to look closely at the Catholic Church.

Why? The Eucharist.

Joh 6:54 He that eateth my flesh and drinketh my blood hath eternal life: and I will raise him up at the last day.

That verse just kept coming into my head...... over and over it came to me. I have heard all of the Protestant views about this verse and this teaching, but I ask that you put that out of your head for now, and focus on the possibility that Jesus was NOT speaking figuratively. That is important for you to appreciate what the Mass really means.

To fully appreciate the Mass, you have to go into it with an open mind....... and accept the reality of the Real Presence. The body and blood, soul and divinity of Christ will be really present in the room with you.....God performs a miracle in each Mass! By the power of God (not the priest) that little communion wafer (host) becomes Christ...... it is at the same time a symbol and a reality, it is a mystery and a grace that is beyond any reality found on this Earth....... and it is yours to partake in!

Come to Mass with faith, which is a form of knowledge and a lot like love. Faith is a love encounter with Jesus, an experience that occurs most profoundly at a Catholic Mass.

Try to understand the Mass (I will try to help with that). Appreciate what is happening. This requires study, prayer, and attentiveness. Faith should move you to understanding.

Frankly admit your sinfulness. Become aware of the destructive power of sin, which can ruin your life and impede your ability to commune with God.

Joyfully realize that redemption from sin and its effects is offered to you when you experience the Life, Death, and Resurrection of Jesus in the Mass and the Eucharist.

 

[Scott1]

Well, as far as wanting some “tips” about a visit to a Catholic Church, here goes:

OK, keeping the above suggestions and teaching in mind......WELCOME.

As you enter the Church, you will notice that everyone who comes in dips a finger into a small “dish” usually attached to the wall containing Holy Water and makes the sign of the Cross (In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit). Try it. Don’t worry about doing it wrong. First, touch the finger that touched the water (index, middle, whatever) to your forehead (In the name of the Father) then to the middle of your chest (the Son) and then your left shoulder (and the Holy) then right shoulder(Spirit). The action should be one motion and is one of my favorite things!

Go find a seat. I would go somewhere close (as close as you feel comfortable) so you can see and hear everything the Priest does. For your first time, if you would be more comfortable, sit in the rear of the Church by yourself (if possible). As you approach the entrance to the pews, you will notice that most people will face genuflect, or bow down on one knee and make the sign of the cross. This is done in the direction of the tabernacle, a container usually situated on or near the altar in a place visible to worshipers and festively ornamented (often times in gold). The tabernacle contains the reserved, consecrated hosts..... you bow because you are in the presence of Christ. You can try this too, if you like, but at the very least make the intellectual ascent to try and accept the fact that you are in the room were Jesus Christ is physically, not just spiritually, present.

Next, SMILE.

After you sit down, in front of you, pull down a small padded bench to kneel on later (again, if you feel comfortable). Pull out the book that should be in front of you, take a look at it. This is the Roman Missal (there are many forms of this publication). You will find either in the middle (Sunday) or near the end (non-Sunday) a section marked for the particular day you are attending Mass. The missal contains the text of the daily Scripture reading, so you can at least follow along during the readings.

For the rest of the Mass, I would suggest that you take your cues from the other people attending. Watch them to see when to stand, sit, or kneel....... or just sit there, whatever you want. I would suggest standing when everyone stands. This is generally a sign of great respect in the Mass..... (we stand when a Gospel is read and at other important “parts”).

 

[Scott1]

The Introductory Rite, Penitential Rite, (Gloria), Profession of Faith etc. are parts of the Mass that require memorization and you will (like I did for almost a year) just sit there and smile...... (a good example is when the Gospel is read: you will notice that everyone makes a gesture to their forehead, lips and heart. What they are doing is making a small cross to signify understanding the Word/forehead, Speaking the Word in Truth/mouth, and accepting the Word into our Hearts/heart.)

Next comes the culmination and reason for the Mass: the Eucharistic prayer, the Epiclesis, and the Communion Rite. This is where the host becomes the body and blood, soul and divinity of the Risen Savior, and we get to let Christ enter us as never before. He does not merely come into our mouths, our hearts - He comes into our souls. He unites Himself to our souls so intimately that he becomes in a marvelous way one with us. Think for a moment of how the Great, Almighty, Eternal God is in our very soul in the most intimate possible way, that He is there with all His infinite love, that He remains there, not for a moment but for five, ten or more minutes - and this not once, but every day, if we wish. If you think about and understand this, it will be easy to see how He offered all His merits and all His sufferings for each one of us.

Let me be very clear in this: you are NOT to go forward and take communion.

Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are (ordinarily) not admitted to Holy Communion. For you to do so anyhow, would be an insult to Catholics and a deception most sinful. Please don’t.

There is so much more to the Mass..... it has been so much fun for me to educate myself about it, and I hope you enjoy the experience. Take the time after Mass and introduce yourself to the Priest, and maybe a few parishioners.

I hope you do attend a Mass and may it bless you with the grace and power of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Peace in Christ,

Scott

 

[Green Gaia]

May I suggest also, a book called How to Be a Perfect Stranger: The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook, there's a couple of volumes.

 

[Scott1]

The Catholic church in my neighborhood has a special prayer service on the first wednesday of each month. I would like to go, or possibly even to a regular mass some time, but I am a little hesitant

Ooops, forgot about this.... the special prayer service is probably either a Rosary devotion or Eucharistic Adoration. If you want, call and find out what it is exactly, and I can help you with that.

Peace,
Scott

 

[johnnys4life]

Ooops, forgot about this.... the special prayer service is probably either a Rosary devotion or Eucharistic Adoration.

It's a Eucharistic prayer meeting for the appreciation of life, which is mainly why I wanted to go to that particular service, though I would still like to attend mass anyway. I found out about it through the Right To Life organization.

 

[johnnys4life]

[As you enter the Church, you will notice that everyone who comes in dips a finger into a small “dish” usually attached to the wall containing Holy Water and makes the sign of the Cross

Oops, last time I went into a Catholic church, I thought that was a drinking fountain. I pushed a little button and some water came out, so I took a sip. I did think it was odd that so little came out and so much of it was sitting in the little dish. :bonk: Thanks for clearing that up, I'm glad I didn't do it in front of anyone!
My stepdad, who is a lapsed Catholic, did show me how to make the sign of the cross. I decided to try praying that way for a while when I was a teenager because I thought it was neat. So that's one thing I think I got right.

The tabernacle contains the reserved, consecrated hosts..... you bow because you are in the presence of Christ. You can try this too, if you like, but at the very least make the intellectual ascent to try and accept the fact that you are in the room were Jesus Christ is physically, not just spiritually, present.

I love that idea. I was always taught that wherever two or three Christians are gathered togethor in His name, Christ is there among them, but it's not something that as Protestants we were reminded of often in Church.


Don't worry, I won't take the communion. I can see why Catholics take it more seriously and don't want just anyone to take it. Honestly I think your religion is just wonderful. I would really consider becoming a Catholic myself but for one thing I hold back because I am embarrassed to have to confess my sins to anyone except God, if that makes any sense. I am still looking into it though.

 

[johnnys4life]

Thanks everyone for all your advice.

 

[Economist]

Johnnys, you're always welcome in the Church. My advice would be to show up a little early, and look through the mass book beforehand to figure out the order of the mass. All of the masses have some parts which are the same (ordinary) and some that vary from day to day. With a little practice you will be able to navigate the book easily and you will never be lost in mass. Other than that, remember to genuflect (kneel and cross yourself) when entering or exiting the pew. If you like you may also cross yourself with holy water at the entrance of the church.

Also, depending on the church, you may be able to join the procession and receive a blessing rather than the eucharist. I guess the only way to find out is to call and ask.

 

[Scott1]

Explanation of the Mass

Introductory Rites

The section of the Mass preceding the Liturgy of the Word that confers a quality of preparation and introduction on the Eucharistic Sacrifice. The intent is that the assembled group unite as a community properly prepared to hear God's Word and celebrate the Eucharist. Includes the following:
Entrance Antiphon Greeting Penitential Rite (Rite of Blessing & Sprinkling) Kyrie (Lord, Have Mercy) Gloria (Glory to God) Opening Prayer

Liturgy of the Word

Liturgy of the Word - The major part of the Mass between the Opening Prayer and the preparation of the Gifts during which the Word of God is proclaimed, responded to, authoritatively explained, accepted and held fast, and appealed to. Includes the following:

First Reading Responsorial Psalm Second Reading Gospel Acclamation (Alleluia) Gospel Reading Homily Silence Profession of Faith (Nicene Creed) or (Apostles' Creed - Children Only) General Intercessions (Prayer of the Faithful) Church Public Authorities Salvation of the World (Oppressed) Local Community

Liturgy of the Eucharist

The major part of the Mass after the Liturgy of the Word and ending before the Concluding Rite. This part corresponds to the words and actions of Christ at the Last Supper. Christ took bread and the cup, gave thanks, broke, and gave them to His disciples saying: "Take and eat; this is My Body. Take and drink; This is the cup of My Blood. Do this in memory of Me."

Preparation of the Gifts (Presentation) - The priest prepares the altar and the gifts, prays over the bread and wine, and helps the assembly get ready for the tremendous Sacrifice that will take place in an unbloody manner. Includes the following:
Offertory Song Preparation of the Altar Preparation of the Bread Preparation of the Wine Washing of Hands Invitation to Prayer Prayer over the Gifts

Eucharistic Prayer - The center and high point of the Mass that makes Christ present for us in His Passion, Death, and Resurrection. During it, the entire assembly joins Christ in acknowledging the works of God and in the offering of Sacrifice. Includes the following: Introductory Dialogue Preface Sanctus Eucharistic Prayer Thanksgiving Acclamation Epiclesis - Ask God to consecrate the Host & Wine Institution - Narrative and Consecration Anamnesis - Command of Christ through the Apostles Offering Intercessions Final Doxology Memorial Acclamation Great Amen

Communion Rite - It is part when God gives a gift to Him. In both cases the gift is the same Jesus Christ, the Son of God and Savior of the world. Includes the following: The Lord's Prayer Rite of Peace (Sign of Peace) Fraction Rite Breaking of the Bread Commingling Agnus Dei (Lamb of God) Personal Prayer Communion Silent Prayer Prayer after Communion

​

Concluding Rite

Immediately after the Communion Rite, should there be any announcements, these are made, but should be kept brief. Then just as the people were greeted at the beginning of the Mass, so now the presider greets the people again and blesses them in one of three forms, the simple one, or at his discretion a more solemn Blessing, particularly at various seasons or on specific feast days, or a Prayers over the people. Includes the following:

Blessing Dismissal

 

[Think]

Whoa K funny story, get this I walk into this catholic church right and I start washing my face in that water they have near the door and it got kind of dirty, then when I got in I saw everyone was taking out these little stool things so I got one and sat on it instead of kneeling once I saw everyone was kneeling I realised I was a fool and yelled god Damnit at the top of my lungs I was then so embarassed that I ran out of there but in doing so knocked over a crusifix, which instantly broke in half. When I reached the door I was running so fast that I slipped on the water I spilt washing my face and fell down. Long story short I am now an atheist

 

[Ardhanariswar]

whahahahah. is that true? holy crap. i would have died on the spot! lol.

 

[The Voice of Reason]

Think -
You are obviously a new member at Religious Forums, so this is meant to help educate you.
As an Agnostic, I fully appreciate that you might not agree with SOG, Economist, or any of the other Christians on the site. That said, this thread was started by an individual looking for guidance on how to conduct herself while attending Catholic rites.
While your post was intended to be humorous, it almost certainly offended those involved in the thread. Your use of profanity for the shock value is not really effective - the overwhelming majority of members are mature enough to see through the ploy (although you will ruffle a few feathers).
I fully support your right to denounce, debate, rebuke, rant, etc. concerning your take on God and religion, but it should be done in the Debate forums where you will get ample opportunity to state your position.
This thread is in the Religious Discussion forum, and as such should not be subject to your ridicule. Please be respectful of which forum you are reading and posting in, and whatever you do, try to show some class when choosing your words.

Thanks,
TVOR

 

[Doc]

To the one with the unwelcoming feeling. Just go there and pray and celebrate the mass. Even someone like me who has been a Catholic his whole life, sometimes forgets to do things we are supposed to do. If you mess up don't worry. Just stand when others stand, sit when others sit, etc. etc. and also at the sign of peace, don't be afraid to say to others "Peace be with you" and shake their hands with a smile. Keep a positive attitude and try to pay attention to the readings and Gospel and read along if that would make it easier. Also pay attention carefully when the priest gives the homily. This is where the priest or deacon breaks down the morals of the gospels and readings and tries to apply them to our own lives. This may be one of the most important part of the mass. Don't go up at communion but just stay where you are and smile and just observe how the mass works. After several masses, you may want to join the RCIA at your local parish which initiates new members into the Catholic Churh through study and prayer and eventually you can receive baptism, Eucharist, and your Confirmation. Just keep a positive attitude and it will work out however God plans so.

 

[Gunga_ann]

Don't feel bad feeling out of place. Everyone feels out of plave when they go somewhere they don't usually go to. I feel out of place when I go to my cousin's services at her church.

You don't have to do what everyone else does. If you don't want to stand, or kneel, you don't have to. This is what my family does when they come to my church: when we kneel, they sit. That is about it. Most churches have song books that have Catholic responses in them (usually in the front of the book). During Eurcharist, you do not have to receive, but you can receive a blessing. Go in the line that leads to the Priest and when you approach the Priest, cross your arms accross your chest (kind of like a mummy! hehehe) and step up to the priest. He will bless you.
Hopes this helps!

Ps~ you will always be welcome in a Catholic church!