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Ending rewrite for The Wicker Man?

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Premium Member
One of my favorite "horror" movies is The Wicker Man (the 1973 version starring Christopher Lee. Let's please forget the Nicolas Cage remake).

I put "horror" in skeptic-quotes because, honestly, the only real horror in that movie occurs at the end of the movie. Most of the movie contains scenes of happy pagans doing their thing in their isolated, island paradise, while trolling a judgmental, sexually repressed, authoritarian Christian, police officer. I thought those scenes of trolling the authoritarian were pretty funny, actually.

But it's all fun and games until somebody gets immolated in the Wicker Man contraption.

I think I would have been happier if, at the end of the movie, the islanders had just sent Sergeant Neil Howie on his merry way back to the Scottish mainland. And also set free all those animals that were caged up in the wicker contraption awaiting the live barbecue.

But how could they send poor, innocent Howie home without at least scaring the spit out of him?

Any ideas, anyone? If you were inclined to rewrite that ending, how would you do it?

Here's one of those trolling scenes I was talking about. (Howie is the one disguised as Punch, the fool.)

 

Callisto

Hellenismos, BTW
I don't think they could send him home even if they'd left things with just a good scare unless they managed to also shake his faith, which I don't think they did. Had he left the island, the ordeal would have faded and in his self-righteous, holier-than-thou conviction, just returned with a unit of officers.

But as far as alt endings go, I do like this one:

 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Premium Member
I don't think they could send him home even if they'd left things with just a good scare unless they managed to also shake his faith, which I don't think they did. Had he left the island, the ordeal would have faded and in his self-righteous, holier-than-thou conviction, just returned with a unit of officers.

But as far as alt endings go, I do like this one:

Well, that video was hilariously disturbing. :eek:

Thanks for your own comments, as well! You're right, I don't think the islanders could have managed to shake Howie's faith. Heck, Willow didn't even succeed in seducing Howie, and Willow was the island's representative love goddess.

Okay, here's how I would have ended it: When May Morrison says to Howie: "You'll simply never understand the true nature of sacrifice," some honest member of the island could have spoken up with: "Well, neither will you -- nor apparently any of us. It's not a true sacrifice unless the thing you're sacrificing belongs to you, and it grieves you to have to give it up. So I guess we'd be hypocrites if we think we can make a sacrifice of Sergeant Howie here."

The islanders all gravely nod in agreement, and even Lord Summerisle has to admit that their one dissenter has a point. Howie might have thought of chiming in with: "That's right! Abraham in the Bible knew that, when God told him to sacrifice his son Isaac!" Fortunately, Howie wisely keeps his mouth shut, realizing that he'd be playing to the wrong audience with any Bible stuff.

So Howie vows that, if they let him go, he won't put in a police report on them. Especially since the missing child, Rowan Morrison, has turned up unharmed and laughing over how easily she had trolled Howie just like everyone else had done. Howie gives a strained "Ha-ha. Good one, Rowan," and then carefully (but swiftly!) takes his leave of Summerisle.

And so Howie keeps his promise not to tell anyone about the shenanigans going on over at Summerisle. Because Howie prides himself on being a man of honor who keeps his word.

Ta-dah! The end.
 
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SalixIncendium

अग्निविलोवनन्दः
Staff member
Premium Member
I'm not sure how any rewrite would tell the same story.

It wasn't about frightening or trolling a Christian authority figure (actually, it kinda was, but that's not the main plot point). It was about the people of Hebridean of Summerisle believing the failure of their apple crops was a result of unhappy gods, and how pleasing them thorough animal sacrifice, and the ultimate human sacrifice, was the only way to bring back the bountiful apple crops.

I'm not sure how any rewrite would tell the same story.
 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Premium Member
I'm not sure how any rewrite would tell the same story.

It wasn't about frightening or trolling a Christian authority figure (actually, it kinda was, but that's not the main plot point). It was about the people of Hebridean of Summerisle believing the failure of their apple crops was a result of unhappy gods, and how pleasing them thorough animal sacrifice, and the ultimate human sacrifice, was the only way to bring back the bountiful apple crops.

I'm not sure how any rewrite would tell the same story.
While that's true, the islanders could have turned to the fishing industry whenever they had a bad year for apple crops. In fact, they sacrificed a huge barrel of ale to Shoney (Seonaidh), god of the sea. That, of course, would have been a true sacrifice, because the ale was their own and it must have been painful pouring a huge barrel of it into the sea. Shoney also covers the fertility of the island land itself.

I think that the islanders choosing in the end to trust that Shoney would be satisfied with their much-loved ale, rather than with a stranger from the mainland that no one particularly cared about, would have made a plausible change for the movie's ending. The change in ending would have made The Wicker Man more of a dark comedy and, honestly, it was already heading in that direction all along.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Wanderer From Afar
Premium Member
One of my favorite "horror" movies is The Wicker Man (the 1973 version starring Christopher Lee. Let's please forget the Nicolas Cage remake).

I put "horror" in skeptic-quotes because, honestly, the only real horror in that movie occurs at the end of the movie. Most of the movie contains scenes of happy pagans doing their thing in their isolated, island paradise, while trolling a judgmental, sexually repressed, authoritarian Christian, police officer. I thought those scenes of trolling the authoritarian were pretty funny, actually.

But it's all fun and games until somebody gets immolated in the Wicker Man contraption.

I think I would have been happier if, at the end of the movie, the islanders had just sent Sergeant Neil Howie on his merry way back to the Scottish mainland. And also set free all those animals that were caged up in the wicker contraption awaiting the live barbecue.

But how could they send poor, innocent Howie home without at least scaring the spit out of him?

Any ideas, anyone? If you were inclined to rewrite that ending, how would you do it?

Here's one of those trolling scenes I was talking about. (Howie is the one disguised as Punch, the fool.)

It's folk horror. The Ritual and Midsommar are other examples, and Midsommar is extremely similar. (I highly recommend them.) Also, it wasn't trolling so much as foreshadowing as they truly were murderous and superstitious.
 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Premium Member
Thank you for your comments, @Saint Frankenstein. I haven't seen The Ritual but I have seen Midsommar. I found Midsommar to be far more horrific than The Wicker Man, with the blood and gore from the scene with the old folks stepping off the cliff to kill themselves on the rocks below. And then a member of the cult finishing off the one survivor with a club. To be fair, I don't think the movie codes of the '70s would have permitted The Wicker Man to show such blood and gore.

The genre for these movies may be Folk Horror, but I saw The Wicker Man as being not so much horrific as it appeared to be attempting to recreate various folk customs of the Celtic people and people of Scotland's Hebrides islands -- from the May Day Hobbyhorse parade to the fire-leaping, fertility dance of the young girls. Christopher Lee's character of Lord Summerisle came across as an intelligent, discerning individual rather than a mindless, homicidal maniac. (His conversation with Howie on religion was particularly interesting.) I think that all this may have also been the appeal of the movie to several Pagan friends of mine.

And then there were the names borne by the islanders -- all names taken from various flowers, herbs, and trees -- both interesting and evocative of the islanders' debt to the horticultural gifts brought to them by Lord Summerisle's grandfather many years before. If it only weren't for the unfortunate, murderous ending of this movie, Summerisle would have seemed a Pagan utopia of personal freedom.

If I were not a person already content with and devoted to my own, Jewish faith, I might be inclined to want to join such a utopia.
 
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Callisto

Hellenismos, BTW
It's folk horror. The Ritual and Midsommar are other examples, and Midsommar is extremely similar. (I highly recommend them.) Also, it wasn't trolling so much as foreshadowing as they truly were murderous and superstitious.

Another title to add to the list is "The Dark Secret of Harvest Home". It's often overlooked, probably because it's a made-for-TV movie from the 1970s that only aired in the US. It takes place in New England and the great Bette Davis' character, Widow Fortune, is an excellent counterpart to Lord Summerisle. I just noticed the whole movie is on YT.

 

F1fan

Veteran Member
How to rewrite the end? Well, what if they did the same scene where people walked up to the group with the swords, but instead of the little girl at the end it was Donald Trump, and they cut his head off accidentally? And in their defense they said they couldn't believe that face color and hair were real.
 

Debater Slayer

Vipassana
Staff member
Premium Member
It's folk horror. The Ritual and Midsommar are other examples, and Midsommar is extremely similar. (I highly recommend them.) Also, it wasn't trolling so much as foreshadowing as they truly were murderous and superstitious.

Thank you for your comments, @Saint Frankenstein. I haven't seen The Ritual but I have seen Midsommar. I found Midsommar to be far more horrific than The Wicker Man, with the blood and gore from the scene with the old folks stepping off the cliff to kill themselves on the rocks below. And then a member of the cult finishing off the one survivor with a club. To be fair, I don't think the movie codes of the '70s would have permitted The Wicker Man to show such blood and gore.

If either of you likes folk horror, I strongly recommend The Wailing (my favorite horror movie of all time alongside The Thing), Impetigore, and The Medium (which was produced and had its story as well as screenplay written by the same guy who directed and wrote the story for The Wailing). However, The Medium in particular deals with multiple extremely unpleasant themes, so I avoid recommending it except to horror enthusiasts because I know many people might not be able to sit through it.
 

Rachel Rugelach

Shalom, y'all.
Staff member
Premium Member
How to rewrite the end? Well, what if they did the same scene where people walked up to the group with the swords, but instead of the little girl at the end it was Donald Trump, and they cut his head off accidentally? And in their defense they said they couldn't believe that face color and hair were real.
I'd rather see Lord Summerisle scare the spit out of Trump, than behead him (or anyone else). And it probably would scare the spit out of Trump, seeing Lord Summerisle's gender-bending, cross-dressing for the May Day parade. :D
 

F1fan

Veteran Member
I'd rather see Lord Summerisle scare the spit out of Trump, than behead him (or anyone else). And it probably would scare the spit out of Trump, seeing Lord Summerisle's gender-bending, cross-dressing for the May Day parade. :D
If Trump is scared seeing a crossdresser it's because he thinks it's Rudy wanting money.
 
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