Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity

[dybmh]

I'm sure no one wants to be diagnosed with any condition, but how would any person pick up on BPD?

It's well known that Bipolar and ADHD are very similar to BPD.

Basically people hear about it by word of mouth...

But the relationship between Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity and BPD is relatively new science, 2015. Before that, the mood swings, outbursts, and interpersonal relationship problems were all "text book" bipolar disorder.

Then these folks were medicated with short term benefit, but no long term gain. In fact, the patients become habituated to the medication. Then the doses get increased, until they become habituated again, and then the dosage is increased... Etc. Etc ..

 

[dybmh]

@Harel13 , please note the last paragraph in post#24... I added it as an edit...

 

[Terry Sampson]

We're talking about Borderline... Not Bipolar...

Ackkk! Profuse apologies. My ADD kicked in and I spun off the road. @Harel13, ignore everything I just said. dybmh was talking about oranges, not apples; I wasn't paying proper attention and started talking about apples. Sorry.

 

[Harel13]

Ackkk! Profuse apologies. My ADD kicked in and I spun off the road. @Harel13, ignore everything I just said. dybmh was talking about oranges, not apples; I wasn't paying proper attention and started talking about oranges. Sorry.

Right, got it.

 

[Terry Sampson]

Maybe delete that post or edit it... Cause it's a confusing topic as is.

Done

 

[Harel13]

Is BPD related to Emotional Intelligence?

 

[dybmh]

Is BPD related to Emotional Intelligence?

I don't think so. It's ( BPD ) a lack of coping skills.

Emotional Intelligence increases the likelihood but it is not necessarily related.

Think of it like a perfect storm. Emotional Intelligence is one factor that contributes to the storm.

If all the elements are there, in the right place, at the right time... Borderline seems to be inevitable. And the same can be said about PTSD.

 

[Harel13]

I don't think so. It's a lack of coping skills.

Emotional Intelligence increases the likelihood but it is not necessarily related.

Think of it like a perfect storm. Emotional Intelligence is one factor that contributes to the storm.

If all the elements are there, in the right place, at the right time... Borderline seems to be inevitable.

Could BPD be the result of having EI without coping skills?

 

[dybmh]

Could BPD be the result of having EI without coping skills?

Sure, just add Child Abuse to the medical history.

 

[dybmh]

Could BPD be the result of having EI without coping skills?

Sure, just add Child Abuse to the medical history.

Or... Other factors...

Let's say the child isn't abused. Let's say... What if...

The child is neglected, due to being in a large family with many siblings... Add to that isolation from living in a closed religious community.

That ( neglect ) would also contribute to lack of coping skills.

A child in this case may find themselves "self-soothing"... Through art perhaps. Or other independent hobbies.

 

[Terry Sampson]

@dybmh & @KAT-KAT
I've become a fan of two therapeutic approaches to healing, within the past 1.5 years: Hypnotherapy and "Interactive Guided Imagery". I say "fan" because both fascinate me: what I've read rings "true and useful" to me, and I'm neither a trained and certified practitioner of either nor well-informed in either. My impression is that a certified hypnotherapist is more readily available than a Guided Imagery professional, but neither are "in a mall near you". That said, ... I have wondered to myself more than once if a number of RF members might benefit from the services of either a hypnotherapist or a Guided Imagery professional. [Note: Some, but not all, of either therapist may be cross-trained in the other therapist's discipline. I.e. some hypnotherapists may have Guided Imagery training and some Guided Imagery therapists may be trained in hypnotherapy.]

Both therapies begin with the assumption that the human mind ranges from subconscious to high-level conscious. and that the most effective healing involves a patient's subconscious mind. Very briefly: when we are awake and doing whatever we do in the world, our conscious mind is plodding it's way through space and time sequentially and we're "processing" information analytically. Processing information analytically takes time and requires focused attention and some degree of logic and reasoning. That's one of the reasons why it's been said that humans only use 10% of their brain: That's the conscious mind part of the brain.

So, what's the rest of our brain doing? Processing information subconsciously, like a bat outta hell. It's there, in the subconscious mind, mocked and demeaned by conscious "snobs", that the real work of keeping us alive is done, not logically and rationally, i.e. analytically, but synthetically, simultaneously, and damn near instantaneously. The subconscious mind is where our emotions and instincts rule, where our wounds lie festering, hollering for help, our joys inspire hope, and our passions move us toward or away from things and other people.

A hypnotherapist or a Guided Imagery professional interacts with a patient's subconscious mind in order to facilitate the patient's "self-healing", when possible, or problem-identification and recognition of steps that have to be taken to obtain external help.

If you're interested, I can send you more info.

 

[dybmh]

Hypnotherapy and "Interactive Guided Imagery".

Yes, I am not opposed to either of these treatment options. I'm aware of both. The Guided Imagery option sounds the most promising from the minimal research I have done on it.

But.

There may be Halachic concerns if I don't rule out other treatment options first.

 

[sealchan]

There is increasing awareness and recognition that individuals who are diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder are also "Hyper-Empathic". These individuals; while having innate talent in recognizing and accurately interpreting emotional content, they also suffer deeply because of it.

The challenges for those of us ( myself included ) who are "Hyper-Empathic" are many. But it is not all bad. Here is the beginning of an article from the website "Psychology Today" that describes this in more detail.

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Excerpt from PschologyToday.com: ( emphasis mine )

The Unexpected Gifts Inside Borderline Personality: May 17, 2018 (link)

"Why do I feel and see so much? If it is a gift, why do I suffer so much?"


It is increasingly being recognized that many individuals who receive the diagnosis of borderline personality disorder (BPD) are highly intuitive and perceptive. What was previously thought of as a genetic vulnerability may reflect an innate talent.

People who were born emotionally intense, sensitive, and gifted with heightened perceptivity are like powerful sports cars. It is as if they have a potent engine that requires a special fuel and a specific kind of care.

In the right condition and with the right keeping, they can be one of the most high-performing machines in the world and win many races. The problem, however, is that they may not have been taught how to run this powerful machine. To borrow a metaphor from psychologist Edward Hallowell, it is like having a Ferrari with bicycle brakes, and these brakes are just not strong enough to control such a powerful engine.

Many emotionally intense people are diagnosed or misdiagnosed with various mental disorders throughout their lives; some of the most common ones are mood disorders, including bipolar disorder, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), eating disorders, and personality disorders. While these conditions are real and extremely painful, we should not immediately assume that they are signs of a defect.

Drawing on psychological research and theories, we see that many people who struggle with BPD do so as a result of two combining factors:

** Their innate intuitive talents, and the specific developmental requirements that go along with it.
** A childhood environment that fails to meet their emotions needs.

The person with BPD often experiences feelings as rapidly changing or spiraling out of control. These symptoms go alongside impulsive self-soothing behaviors and a chronic sense of internal hollowness.

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In my understanding of psychology, emotionality is problematic if it cannot be connected with an objective issue or a real threat to their life. Emotion is a large degree of mental energy which channels through physiological body changes in order to exhaust its energy when manipulation of the mental realm or the physical realm is insufficient to "resolve" that energy. People who have been subject to unsafe conditions over a long period of time often develop emotionality as a symptom.

In our society there are many contexts in which emotions are suppressed. We all commonly have an attitude that considers certain emotions or emotions in a given context as wrong and so the neural energies that might be released by emotional expression are "bottled up" and can cause alternate expressions. Sometimes this comes in the form of a creative outlet. Other times it comes in the form of a destructive outlet. Lack of an ability to release pent up emotions gives one a diminished sense of agency and value and addictive behaviors may arise as a result.

For me I find that emotionality in the face of a lack of real, immediate danger to a person or society, is a sign that one has expressed their weakness and that some effort at self-care and managing that emotionality might have a deep benefit.

I have to wonder at people like Robin Williams whose great enthusiasm apparently also concealed a deep depression. We all benefitted from his emotionality, but his life and his relationship with his family ended prematurely as a result.

 

[sealchan]

Thank you dybmh. It means a lot.

Now when I'm feeling really disturbed, I get online and look up the triangle/second output of a particular graphics card, then picture myself making a video game, divide the previous value by 60 frames per second and additionally more if I'm going to make a 3D model of multiple passes like Normal Mapping, then figure out the number of characters I would want in a 3D scene, and compute in my head how many polygons each 3D model can be. Then I half that to take into account performance lost by texture mapping and lighting.

I used to work at a small company that provided math tutoring. The owner-boss once told me that she used to tutor older women and they found that doing mathematics helped to calm their minds when they were emotionally troubled.

For me doing math gives me a sense of being attuned to the nature of reality and that helps me to feel like I am grounded in and ready for what that reality may bring to me.

Mathematics and computer programming are similar in this respect. One can take comfort in the great utility of grasping order and the sense of accommodating the unexpected through well-designed logical systems.

 

[sealchan]

For those readers who are ready for the next piece of the puzzle...

Emotional Sensitivity is often correlated with "Giftedness". In America children are labeled "Gifted" based on standardized test scores given in public elementary schools. If a child is in the top 3% they are labeled "Gifted" and are often transitioned into classes with accelerated curriculum.

Children in this top 3% are actually at a higher risk of child abuse. And they are more likely to be disruptive in class, become outcasts, and thus... do not develop coping skills in spite of their emotional and intellectual talents.

Gifted Child + Abusive Parents = Borderline Personality

Here's the elements that define Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity in Gifted Children: ( link )

• In the body – the body mirrors the emotions and feelings are often expressed as bodily symptoms such as tense stomach, sinking heart, blushing, headache, nausea

• Inhibition – timidity and shyness

• Strong affective memory – emotionally intense children can remember the feelings that accompanied an incident and will often relive and ‘re-feel’ them long afterward

• Fears and anxieties, feelings of guilt, feelings of being out of control

• Concerns with death, depressive moods

• Emotional ties and attachments to others, empathy and concern for others, sensitivity in relationships, attachment to animals, difficulty in adjusting to new environments, loneliness, conflicts with others over the depth of relationships

• Critical self-evaluation and self-judgment, feelings of inadequacy and inferiority.

Interesting...this is beginning to sound like the polar opposite of Autism.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I used to work at a small company that provided math tutoring. The owner-boss once told me that she used to tutor older women and they found that doing mathematics helped to calm their minds when they were emotionally troubled.

For me doing math gives me a sense of being attuned to the nature of reality and that helps me to feel like I am grounded in and ready for what that reality may bring to me.

Mathematics and computer programming are similar in this respect. One can take comfort in the great utility of grasping order and the sense of accommodating the unexpected through well-designed logical systems.

It takes me back to a simpler time when I crunched numbers not out of stress, and for real purposes.

 

[dybmh]

Interesting...this is beginning to sound like the polar opposite of Autism.

Yup. It is.

However the "self soothing" behaviors and avoidance present like Autistic obsessive special interests.

Also the "burnout", the lack of coping skills and the "outbursts" all can appear a lot like Autism.

 

[sealchan]

Yup. It is.

However the "self soothing" behaviors and avoidance present like Autistic obsessive special interests.

Also the "burnout", the lack of coping skills and the "outbursts" all can appear a lot like Autism.

Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio believes that the frontal cortex's two hemispheres differentially process valuative and logical rationality based on his observation of patients with lesions in the corpus callosum that bridges the two sides (see his book Descartes' Error). So logical reasoning can take place in an endless stream of irrelevance while the value judging brain which instantiates 'value' as feeling can respond with over-reactive drama if the two sides don't work together.

This correlates with Jung's definition of the feeling and the thinking function which has feeling-values centered on individual feelings of what is good vs bad, or important vs unimportant on the one hand and thinking-definitions centered on the meaning of words formulated in a consistent manner. Both types of cognition assemble propositions together in an effort to "build up" truth.

So if we have an individual who has, for whatever reason, lost the ability to reference one or the other cortical region or struggles to integrate the two perhaps we have the basis for BPD on the one hand and Autism on the other.

When any individual accumulates an extreme amount of "psychic energy" then emotion is the result. In a world where these two cognitive modes are often balanced, individuals who heavily favor one vs the other must experience this alternately as a disability or as Greta Thunberg has called it a superpower.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I have suspected for years that I have BPD but the mental health professionals I see are all hesitant to diagnose me with it. Instead, I was diagnosed with some combination of major depression, general anxiety disorder and mixed personality disorder. It's very frustrating, since I basically meet most of the symptoms of it (chaotic personal relationships, fear of abandonment, rejection and criticism, splitting, quick mood swings, self-harm, substance abuse, impulsivity, intense emotions that leave me feeling out of control, others feeling bewildered and overwhelmed by my problems, dissociation, etc.).

I'm not getting the help I need. I have even been through the full DBT program, which was originally designed for those with BPD. I was so messed up that I would show up drunk to therapy sessions and insult my therapist. I have just lost what was my best friend here (and she was also my lover, to be honest) and even her other friends tell her not to put up with me, which makes me feel like throwaway trash that's easily replaced. I just threatened suicide, too - on her birthday, whh is probably ruined now because we got into it on the phone. I've wanted to die for years. The feeling to want to end it all is always lurking in the background. I just feel like such a burden to everyone and the pain is too much to bear.

I don't know what to do. I do relate to the findings of people with BPD having a more acute sense of empathy. I have been able to feel the pain of others, of including non-human animals, since I was a child. I would hug trees and cry when I knew they were going to be cut down and even feel bad swatting flies. It just leads to more and more pain.

 

[dybmh]

I have suspected for years that I have BPD but the mental health professionals I see are all hesitant to diagnose me with it. Instead, I was diagnosed with some combination of major depression, general anxiety disorder and mixed personality disorder. It's very frustrating, since I basically meet most of the symptoms of it (chaotic personal relationships, fear of abandonment, rejection and criticism, splitting, quick mood swings, self-harm, substance abuse, impulsivity, intense emotions that leave me feeling out of control, others feeling bewildered and overwhelmed by my problems, dissociation, etc.).

I'm not getting the help I need. I have even been through the full DBT program, which was originally designed for those with BPD. I was so messed up that I would show up drunk to therapy sessions and insult my therapist. I have just lost what was my best friend here (and she was also my lover, to be honest) and even her other friends tell her not to put up with me, which makes me feel like throwaway trash that's easily replaced. I just threatened suicide, too - on her birthday, whh is probably ruined now because we got into it on the phone. I've wanted to die for years. The feeling to want to end it all is always lurking in the background. I just feel like such a burden to everyone and the pain is too much to bear.

I don't know what to do. I do relate to the findings of people with BPD having a more acute sense of empathy. I have been able to feel the pain of others, of including non-human animals, since I was a child. I would hug trees and cry when I knew they were going to be cut down and even feel bad swatting flies. It just leads to more and more pain.

Psychologists and Social Workers seem to be the best at recognizing Borderline Personality disorder. Medical Doctors seem to be looking for something else that they can easily treat with medications. ( When all they've got is a hammer.... everything looks like a nail... )

It's interesting that DBT wasn't effective; I haven't tried that but it has been recommended to me many times.

I can relate to the pain you are describing, though. Yes, the pain is too much to bear. I feel like that often, daily to be honest. And this time of year is hardest for me... and the fall. It's how I was conditioned.