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Elder Gods Apologize for Apocalypse Delay

Discussion in 'Games / Pics / Jokes / Stories' started by sun rise, May 23, 2020.

  1. sun rise

    sun rise "This is the Hour of God"
    Premium Member

    Apr 28, 2014
    Surely we can help. Denizens of the dark reaches of RF where light never penetrates and suffering is universal, how can we help them with degenerate thoughts, destructive words and apocalyptic (but still legal) deeds?

    Elder Gods Apologize for Delay in Rollout of the Apocalypse

    While the early phases of civilization's collapse into a burning hellscape were promising, progress on the more dramatic culmination of armageddon has been repeatedly stalled by restructuring, miscommunication, and the high rate of turnover within the ranks of the Great Old Ones' loyal subjects.
    "The slow burn is great and all," said John Knӕlgghyrt, née Phillips, who was briefly the high priest of Cthulhu's Dark Order—prior to being scooped unceremoniously into his lord's tentacled maw—"but trying to get the big stuff done has been a real challenge." The main struggle he points to is the lack of cohesion and structural order among the death cult working haplessly to hasten Earth's return to a state of desolation and chaos. "It's like herding cats sometimes. Insane, death-obsessed cats."
    Reached for comment, a dead-eyed spokesman of the Court of Azathoth issued a statement on the delays, speaking in a voice that echoed from the depths of primordial chaos, "We sincerely apologize to everyone who has been waiting on the fundamental unraveling of life as we know it these last few months. Rest assured, we are working day, night, and in the abyssal time between moments to deliver on our goals. We remain optimistic that the final result will exceed everyone's expectations for total annihilation."
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  2. Terry Sampson

    Terry Sampson Well-Known Member

    Apr 5, 2019
    ???? :eek::D
  3. beenherebeforeagain

    beenherebeforeagain Rogue Animist
    Premium Member

    Aug 11, 2011
    Modern Animist
    One might think that if they continue to fail to deliver on their promises, they will be voted out of office come the next election...:mad::confused:o_O:eek::D:oops::rolleyes:
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