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Educating yourself when you're poor causes a lot of problems

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Hec., Oct 12, 2018.

  1. Hec.

    Hec. Member

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    I noticed that the more smarter i became in life or the more "woke" i became the more unhappy i became because you really become almost a loner in your own environment and live inside your own head because you just won't find people on the same wavelength as you that often or on the social media platforms people just want to discuss what's on TV or the latest rap music or whatever. Everything is very basic with no deeper thought.

    After i went to jail for a bit i got a degree in history and studied philosophy a little and then i had my children and i changed my life into a positive life so to speak, i mean i didn't commit anymore crime or make chasing money the primary vision of my life, but then when you come back into your own environment you notice nobody else is like that and everyone is behind you mentally and even guys in their 30s and 40s still want to live the "thug life" of ignorance and materialism. You try to talking them about anything outside of sex and money and instagram and they don't know what you're talking about. Most people don't have an original thought in their head that didn't come from facebook.

    When i go to parties with my woman i am still able to enjoy myself and have fun but you find you have less and less in common with the regular partygoers than you would have had in say your teens. You almost have to fake it and pretend you are still at their level mentally when you have become more mature and advanced.

    My fiance is the same way. She's extremely party-orientated and she's all about weed, drinking, smoking, dancing, going out on the town and there are times when she literally has to beg me to come along and honestly at this point (i'm only 30) i'd rather stay inside and read a book and she looks like there is something wrong with me and she keeps saying "just have a drink come on have a drink" and she cannot even understand that i don't want a drink today.

    Now i like sex and having a good time as much as the next man but there has to be more to life than simply that over and over.

    It's like improving my mindset and educating myself a little made me more unhappy and lonely.

    Yet i see people who can't even string a coherent sentence together who are always on a high and nothing phases them or stops their high for life. I have female friends like this who are just never depressed and are always happy, they party 5x a week and never run out of energy!

    I have heard conspiracy theorists complain about the same thing, they say "Oh before i swallowed that red pill i was so much more easygoing now i overthink everything".

    It's kind of annoying to live like this and i am not even an introvert by definition. I do enjoy socializing but i just find socializing extremely boring these days.
     
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  2. Kirran

    Kirran
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    If that's the sphere around you, then is there a way you find other spheres to get into? Like, OK, you're into subjects that are more intellectual than a lot of people around you, aren't there groups or activities or whatever that relate to those around? Not necessarily in your area, but at least nearby?

    Also, do you think you and your fiance have enough common ground and mutual understanding to build a relationship of respect and cooperation?
     
    #2 Kirran, Oct 12, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
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  3. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Are you still hanging around the same social groups as you were before? If you've changed and they haven't (or, at least, not in the same way) it can be isolating.

    I've had the same thing to a degree at times, but work with some super smart people (as well as some less so) who challenge me intellectually.

    Plus I come here. :)

    But when I was a teenager at a crappy school, I definitely felt like an anomaly. Luckily I was always into sports, so had enough common ground.
     
  4. Kirran

    Kirran
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    Hmm, reading this, I guess I was the same. Except without the sports!
     
  5. lewisnotmiller

    lewisnotmiller Grand Hat
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    Heh...I wasn't one of the cool kids, but neither was I one of the 'outcasts'. At the time that seemed somewhat important, but the older I get, the more ridiculous such things seem.
     
  6. Kirran

    Kirran
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    I suppose I was more towards the latter end, but only insofar as that was even possible in a school as small as mine, where everybody knew everybody else in the year pretty well.
     
  7. Jumi

    Jumi Secular monotheist

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    Like a lot of introverts I think partying is boring by default. I'd rather talk to interesting people without some excuse.
     
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  8. Brickjectivity

    Brickjectivity simple man
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    Knowledge prepares you for later life when you can't handle constant fun. What if you got old, but everything you knew came from TV shows? What happens when you are weak, when nobody wants to visit you anymore, when you are boring to young people? Knowledge also protects you from cons. You have an opinion about whether someone is talking balogney or knows something. You can see the path of the world and turn yourself away from trouble.
     
  9. Anthem

    Anthem Active Member

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    I don't see it having anything to do with education.
     
  10. Anthem

    Anthem Active Member

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    You can turn away from trouble but the trouble is still there.
     
  11. Revoltingest

    Revoltingest Ignorant Atheist Libertarian Capitalist
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    One sometimes needs multiple spheres of friends & acquaintances.
    Interaction with each can meet one's different needs, & one can
    enjoy them all.

    Example:
    I come to RF to satisfy my need to viciously argue politics & religion.
    My real life friends won't tolerate that, but they have their uses too.
     
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  12. 74x12

    74x12 Well-Known Member
    It's My Birthday!

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    Reminds me of the book Brave New World.

    What's the difference now between people numbing their life with alcohol and marijuana and the people in Brave New World using Soma?

    And some people I know are very similar to that.
     
  13. Hec.

    Hec. Member

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    Well when i was studying i mostly did it from home and i had a mountain of books in my spare room so i didn't really mingle or socialize with others who were also studying it the way i would if i had been to college or university to do it. But i don't really know how to access groups and activities and so forth at this point. It seems like most people regardless of what they are into have already established and built social circles through their employment or whatever and they don't readily accept new people into their circles.

    I socialize mostly with the people my fiance knows now who really are just kind of easily pleased.I mean as long as they get their holiday once a year and their booze and weed on the evening or a upgraded car every few years they are happy like that really. They won't question anything or look deeper into anything. They just want to talk about Love Island or some Facebook memes.

    I have been with her for nearly 10 years now. She's always been this way and she's older than me even. But i didn't mind it before because i was happy to live that way too. still it's like she wants to live as a perpetual teenager and i've been told that's not a reason to get rid of her and to break up your family people say that "oh just accept how she is you shouldn't try to change people" "you can't change who people are" so i just tick along with it i suppose.

    And she keeps accusing me of sleeping with all these other women i know. She says "Oh yeah what does she want why does she keep messaging you then", "I know you're sleeping with her" "why would she say you're good looking if she didn't want to sleep with you". And this is the hassle i have to deal with from her. When mentally in my own head i feel i am way past this type of silly behaviour.
     
  14. Hec.

    Hec. Member

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    Well i still live in the same place albeit a nicer part of town. I mostly hang out with the people my fiance knows and they are all the same way too. I mean you can not talk to them about much. i am still able to to do it but it doesn't feel authentic doing it. It feels like i have to force myself to act dumb around them lol whereas if i was like 17 or 18 it would come more naturally to me to be that way. I am 30 and bored by partying but all the others we know in this age range seem to still live for it. I feel like an old man.
     
  15. sayak83

    sayak83 Well-Known Member
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    Meetup is a good place to look for new groups. Book reading clubs, astronomy clubs, hiking and nature clubs are aplenty. Joining volunteering groups may also be helpful.
    Hope you have a good job. Maybe you should consider moving to a different neighborhood, especially if you are thinking of raising a family.
    Getting a dog also helps i attracting the right kind of people. :)
     
  16. RothschildSaxeCoburgGotha

    RothschildSaxeCoburgGotha Well-Known Member

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    The true nature of a discussion like this is very rarely reflected in the subject heading, and though you can get the gist of it through the text you have to look beyond the text itself. For example, is this a statement of your own intellectual superiority, or a disdain for the vapid nature of social media and substance abuse? Or is it a thoughtless promotion of higher education?

    It seems to me that there is no party town like a college town. Perhaps what you are saying is that you are a boring person, or that you can't relate to other people that seem boring to you, but either way you are examining people on a limited basis. There's more to you than your book reading just as there's more to your fiance than partying. But in any given moment devoted to either of these pursuits the person in question is in the moment. People tend to make these limited criticisms in a political, religious or social setting. In fact, I just posted in a thread on this subject from a religious perspective here and a political perspective here.

    When I was in high school I hated hearing about all the partying supposedly going on. Because they were phoniness incarnate to me. Without substance and all the rage. When I got much older I took to drink and thoroughly enjoyed bringing other people out of their shells to engage in all manifestations of human knowledge both learning and teaching.

    I guess people are too complex to fit them in a limited box that reflects them accurately beyond a given moment. That's what I've learned.
     
  17. It Aint Necessarily So

    It Aint Necessarily So Well-Known Member
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    The changes in your life - turning from crime and the excessive pursuit of wealth, and educating yourself - are changes for the better and deserving of kudos, not regret or dissatisfaction. Educated people can enjoy the company of less well educated people if those people are decent. If your circle isn't as kind or of as good character as they could and should be, move on.

    There comes a time in many lives when one recognizes that many people in those lives are anchors holding them back and weighing them down - anchors that can and probably in most cases should be cut loose. This might include family members and lifelong friends and acquaintances.
     
    #17 It Aint Necessarily So, Oct 12, 2018
    Last edited: Oct 12, 2018
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  18. adrian009

    adrian009 Well-Known Member

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    It’s great you have made so many positive changes in your life. It’s never easy and no one can walk in the shoes of another. It sounds as if you have one foot in the new way of life and one in the old. Sometimes the most necessary changes are the hardest to make. I suspect you already know in your heart what you need to do. All the best with that.
     
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