If you would like to mail me a book, I can give you my mailing address via pm.
I like to receive Holy Communion and attend Mass. Christ founded the Catholic Church, and the first Christians were not Bible Christians, they had devotions to the martyrs and the Saints for over 1500 years before the first Protestant Church condemned such practices.
I just feel more of a Shinto adherent. I enshrine lots of uncanonized souls who I believe speak to me, and it is hard for me to forgive a God who would burn people in Hell for ever.
Tortured souls don't deserve to be tortured for ever, and people who do wicked things, or are sadistic, or criminals who only delight in evil, such people live their lives in total joyless, darkness, agony, fear, misery, anger, hatred, and are bankrupt. They don't deserve to suffer forever.
I wouldn't do that! Am I nicer than God?? I meet people all the time who are more nice, kind, merciful, humane, and more just than our God!
I think God is cruel for giving so many people their lives, and letting people be born missing limbs, blind, deaf, allowing people to be paralyzed for the rest of their lives, allowing people to be burned from head to toe in car wrecks, having their scabs scrubbed in burn units worse than death.
I despise that God would punish the world with wars like World War 2, that our Lady of Fatima said was a punishment from God for sin.
That God could be so cruel and inhumane and brutal, insensitive, allow so much suffering and agony, it really disturbs me, angers me, and I feel it is a righteous anger!
I don't see a loving God. I live in impoverished ghettos and institutions of incarceration on and off! I see the misery of so many worthless lives, and blind sinners are not at fault for being so blind, hopeless, worthless, and they cannot help themselves!
Regarding homosexuals, if God is so offended by it, he should give them the grace of heterosexuality, and the same thing applies to any sin or vice!
God needs to stop letting the devil run rampant and letting antichrists rise to power. He could always heal me, and anoint me, or someone , to give good leadership, with a strong voice on faith and morality.
Instead he leaves people feeling abandoned, broken, like he isn't there. I find it thoroughly disgusting and wondering "Father, How could you!"
But thank you for your prayers.
If you could remember me in your prayers a lot, I would greatly appreciate that, and if you offer up your chores, job, duties, or sufferings, to God, through Mary, for me to get well, and that I would always obey the blessed Mother! That is what I hope for!
And please pray for Lia, the person I love more than all creatures combined, who I jumped off a building over. I received many signs from God, I thought, involving her.
When she established boundaries with me, it was more painful than hearing my whole family got violently murdered, than the prospect of not being able to talk with her anymore!
When I revealed to her that I jumped off the building and spent ten weeks in a wheelchair over her, with a head injury and broken bones, she stopped talking to me and didn't feel safe.
In the ER I woke up and couldn't talk with tubes coming out of my throat, fed through a tube going into my stomach!
My bladder was full of urine and I could not urinate, because shattered pelvis caused scar tissue to block urethra.
After they put a camera in there and did the surgery, I was urinating blood clots larger than marbles and screaming in agony!
It was hell!
But I offer my suffering to God through Mary!
