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Don't settle for happiness?

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
A Harvard psychologist details our unhealthy obsession with happiness

Some days it can feel like we’re living inside an overly sincere Hallmark card. The dominant messaging in western societies is: Be happy. Don’t worry. It will be alright. Just reach for happiness. Take your destiny into your own hands. The people close to you, to whom you can tell your worries, they smile and a speech bubble floats from their mouth saying: ‘Think positive!’ Somewhere, a Disney bird is chirping.

The tyranny of positivity: A Harvard psychologist details our unhealthy obsession with happiness

Cheers!
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
The personal excellence site has some good stuff -

Back when I was studying in university, I didn’t like myself very much. I was rude, selfish, emotionally stingy, self-centered, judgmental, highly critical, very obnoxious, and arrogant.

When I think back about it, a lot of that came from insecurity with myself — a lack of self-esteem. I didn’t like myself, and this projected in my behavior toward others. I was dissatisfied with things about me, and hence I was dissatisfied with things about other people.

101 Ways To Be a Better Person | Personal Excellence

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Laughter is a physiological response that involves rhythmic and involuntary action, and denotes merriment, happiness, or joy. Over the past several years countless studies have been conducted that show the positive effects that laughing has on one’s physical and mental health.

For the rest -

22 Ways to Bring More Laughter into Your Life
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Very well mind is another good discovery of recent times -

Part of being happy is feeling happy, moment to moment, throughout our lives. But what does "feeling happy" really mean? Is it the feeling we get eating an ice cream cone in the heat of summer? The feeling we get sitting next to someone we deeply love? The feeling we get when something goes our way?

Without understanding more of the nuance being the phrase "feeling happy," we can miss opportunities for positive emotion in our life. In her book Positivity, psychologist Barbara Fredrickson suggests that we experience a range of positive emotions and that each of these helps us to build resources or broaden our perspective in useful ways. Take a quick look at those 10 common positive emotions and what they do for us.


Emotions We Experience Beyond Just "Happiness"

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
This practice is really about communicating with the inner critic, and, as for Lilah, the first step is to catch that voice when it appears. We notice that the critic lives in a world of absolutes, with little room for nuance or gray areas. Her favorite words are should, always, and never, and blame is her operating system. “You’ve blown it, you always do.” “You should just give up.” “You’re so different, no one will ever love you.” “You’re so flawed, you’ll never be able to help yourself, let alone anybody else.” Instead of creating a wide and open space for embracing our lives, the inner critic causes us to question our worth and collapse in on ourselves.

How to Recognize Your Inner Critic - Mindful

All the best!
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Through the practice of mindfulness exercises, we are able to become more fully immersed in the present moment, and break the chain of stress and worry. The goal isn’t to necessarily become the impala from earlier, blissfully in the moment at all times. That would be neither practical nor realistic in our modern world. But we can certainly learn to take a page from her, in order to slow down our frenzied and often chaotic lives. We can all benefit from becoming more at one with the present moment, for reasons that will be explored more fully in this chapter. Mindfulness shows us how.

More at this site - looks excellent -

Mindfulness: 5 Powerful Exercises for Peace and Happiness

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
From the happify site -

So, can we really train ourselves to become happier? The science says yes. Our happiness level is a result of a complex interaction of genes, behaviors, and what's going on in our lives at a specific moment in time. And while each of us has a genetic set point for happiness in the way we do for weight, we have the ability to offset it, which brings us to the most important takeaway from the scientific research: You have the power to take control of your happiness by choosing your thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Recent research into the types of interventions, or exercises, designed to promote positive emotional qualities, such as kindness and mindfulness, suggests that such qualities may be the product of skills we can learn through training—in the way that practice improves our musical or athletic abilities. Over time, we can build lasting habits that increase our resilience and improve our happiness levels.

https://www.happify.com/hd/what-is-the-science-of-happiness/
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Positive psychology is one of the newest branches of psychology to emerge. This particular area of psychology focuses on how to help human beings prosper and lead healthy, happy lives. While many other branches of psychology tend to focus on dysfunction and abnormal behavior, positive psychology is centered on helping people become happier.

Martin Seligman and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describe positive psychology in the following way: "We believe that a psychology of positive human functioning will arise that achieves a scientific understanding and effective interventions to build thriving in individuals, families, and communities."

Over the last ten years or so, general interest in positive psychology has grown tremendously. Today, more and more people are searching for information on how they can become more fulfilled and achieve their full potential. Interest in the topic has also increased on college campuses. In 2006, Harvard's course on positive psychology became the university's most popular class. In order to understand the field of positive psychology, it is essential to start by learning more about its history, major theories and applications.

Can Positive Psychology Really Help You Lead a Happy Life?

From a search for: Very well mind happiness

Cheers!
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
People who have meaning and purpose in their lives are happier, feel more in control and get more out of what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety and depression. But where do we find meaning and purpose? It might come from doing a job that makes a difference, our religious or spiritual beliefs, or our family. The answers vary for each of us but they all involve being connected to something bigger than ourselves.

Action ideas

Feel part of something bigger. Spend time with children, visit an inspiring location, gaze at the stars or join a club.

Be more charitable. Give others your time, offer to help neighbours or friends, consider giving blood or volunteering.

More tips on this page -

Ten easy steps to happier living

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
One of the key practices in many traditions is meditation or mindfulness. Here's a few thoughts about the practice and how it can improve your happiness levels -

"Mindfulness can be summed up in two words: pay attention. Once you notice what you’re doing, you have the power to change it."

~ Michelle Burford

"Mindfulness is being aware of yourself, others, and your surroundings in the moment. When consciously and kindly focusing awareness on life as it unfolds minute by precious minute, you are better able to savor each experience. Also, being closely attentive gives you the opportunity to change unwise or painful feelings and responses quickly. In fact, being truly present in a mindful way is an excellent stress reducer and, because of that, can be seen as consciousness conditioning, a strengthening workout for body, mind, heart, and spirit."

~ Sue Patton Thoele

"Mindfulness makes our eyes, our heart, our non-toothache, the moon, and the trees deep and beautiful. And when we touch our suffering with mindfulness, we begin to transform it. Mindfulness is like a mother holding her baby in her arms and caring for her baby’s pain. When our pain is held by mindfulness it loses some of its strength. . . . Mindfulness recognizes what is there, and concentration allows you to be deeply present with whatever it is. Concentration is the ground of happiness. If you live twenty-four hours a day in mindfulness and concentration, one day is a lot."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

"Mindfulness is not just a word or a discourse by the Buddha, but a meaningful state of mind. It means we have to be here now, in this very moment, and we have to know what is happening internally and externally. It means being alert to our motives and learning to change unwholesome thoughts and emotions into wholesome ones. Mindfulness is a mental activity that in due course eliminates all suffering."

~ Ayya Khema

"Mindfulness of oneself cultivates wisdom. Mindfulness of others cultivates compassion."

~ Stonepeace

"Mindfulness is a way of being present: paying attention to and accepting what is happening in our lives. It helps us to be aware of and step away from our automatic and habitual reactions to our everyday experiences."

~ Elizabeth Thornton

"Do we ever question the need to brush our teeth? Or say, "today I do not have time for brushing teeth?" Can we go a week without brushing? What that would be like? Please imagine it right now. How will the mouth and teeth feel? Do we believe if we brush teeth we will never need a dentist? And how about putting in a comparable amount of time, energy and regular practice to keep the mind clear, fresh, and refreshed? Or regularly brushing and clearing the mind from harmful residue? I view Mindfulness as a way of maintaining mental hygiene the same way brushing is needed for dental hygiene. And, from time to time, we may even need professional help for best results."

~ Rezvan Ameli

"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers."

~ Thich Nhat Hanh

"Living mindlessly . . . takes an enormous toll. What we get from each moment depends on the attention we give it, and the quality of our experience reflects the quality of our awareness."

~ Roger Walsh

The mindful site is full of great stuff - e.g. anger or difficult emotions or gratitude or happiness ...
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Happiness quotes -

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that."

~ Michael Leunig

"To be able to find joy in another's joy: that is the secret of happiness."

~ George Bernanos

"If one only wished to be happy, this could be easily accomplished; but we wish to be happier than other people, and this is always difficult, for we believe others to be happier than they are."

~ Montesquieu

"One road to happiness is to cultivate curiosity about everything. Not only about people but about subjects, not only about the arts but about history and foreign customs. Not only about countries and cities, but about plants and animals. Not only about lichened rocks and curious markings on the bark of trees, but about stars and atoms. Not only about your friends but about that strange labyrinth we inhabit which we call ourselves. Then, if we do that, we will never suffer a moment's boredom."

~ Gerald Brenan

"The happiness of life is made up of minute fractions - the little soon forgotten charities of a kiss or smile, a kind look, a heartfelt compliment, and the countless infinitesimals of pleasurable and genial feeling."

~ Samuel Taylor Coleridge

"If we want to know what happiness is we must seek it, not as if it were a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but among human beings who are living richly and fully the good life. If you observe really happy people you will find them building a boat, writing a symphony, educating their children, growing double dahlias in their gardens, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. They will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that has rolled under the radiator. They will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. They will have become aware that they are happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day. To find happiness we must seek for it in a focus outside ourselves."

~ W. Beran Wolfe

"The happiness which brings enduring worth to life is not the superficial happiness that is dependent on circumstances. It is the happiness and contentment that fills the soul even in the midst of the most distressing circumstances and the most bitter environment. It is the kind of happiness that grins when things go wrong and smiles through the tears. The happiness for which our souls ache is one undisturbed by success or failure, one which will root deeply inside us and give inward relaxation, peace, and contentment, no matter what the surface problems may be. That kind of happiness stands in need of no outward stimulus."

~ Billy Graham

"Happiness is that brief sigh of a moment that delivers a glow of peace and serenity. Happiness is that tiny point of a feeling in our chest that radiates itself a million times throughout our being. Happiness is that "pause" that refreshes our spirit, allowing us to plunge back into the rigors of our lives with renewed vigor. Happiness is that precise moment that allows us to experience--even if briefly--that we are a part of a vastness our minds will never comprehend. Don't knock the brevity of happiness. Rejoice in its existence."

~ Anne Wilson Schaef

Meditations for Living in Balance

"In order to be utterly happy the only thing necessary is to refrain from comparing this moment with other moments in the past, which I often did not fully enjoy because I was comparing them with other moments of the future."

~ Andre Gide

"Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed."

~ Storm Jameson

"To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not rich; to study hard, think quietly, talk gently, act frankly; to listen to the stars and birds, to babes and sages, with open heart; to bear on cheerfully, do all bravely, awaiting occasions, worry never; in a word to, like the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common."

~ William Ellery Channing

"Most true happiness comes from one's inner life, from the disposition of the mind and soul. Admittedly, a good inner life is difficult to achieve, especially in these trying times. It takes reflection, and contemplation and self-discipline."

~ W.L. Shirer

It is difficult to know what to do with so much happiness.
With sadness there is something to rub against,
a wound to tend with lotion and cloth.
When the world falls in around you, you have pieces to pick up,
something to hold in your hands,
like ticket stubs or change.
But happiness floats.
It doesn't need you to hold it down.
It doesn't need anything.
Happiness lands on the roof of the next house, singing,
and disappears when it wants to.
You are happy either way.
Even the fact that you once lived in a peaceful tree house
and now live over a quarry of noise and dust
cannot make you unhappy.
Everything has a life of its own, it too could
wake up filled with possibilities
of coffee cake and ripe peaches,
and love even the floor which needs to be swept,
the soiled linens and scratched records. . .
Since there is no place large enough
to contain so much happiness,
you shrug, you raise your hands,
and it flows out of you
into everything you touch. You are not responsible.
You take no credit, as the night sky takes no credit for the moon, but continues to hold it, and share it, and
in that way, be known.

Naomi Shihab Nye
from "So Much Happiness"

More quotes here - a few pages worth!

Greater good has some advice on cultivating happiness

Trans4mind is another excellent site - dozens of articles in fact

Their resources page also looks worthy of a visit!
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
People always think that what they want is money, relationships, and material possessions, but what they truly want is happiness. Wealth, health and relationships are just the rewards of being happy. Happiness is a state of vibration that is in harmony with the universe. As you already know, the same frequency vibrations tend to attract each other, so the vibration of happiness is going to attract more wealth, better relationships and better health, since these things are going to add more happiness to your life, and they are in the same vibration. If you go after money, you may not get it, but if you go after happiness, money will flow to you. The same applies to relationships and health.

I believe the ultimate goal in life is to achieve a state of well being, or we can simply say happiness. Is there an easier way to achieve happiness? The answer is Yes! and I am now going to show you how.

For the rest -

The Best Way to Achieve Happiness - by Song Chengxiang

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
The "What is Love?" movie is part of the 'Let Us Spread Love Wherever We Go!' project. The mission of this project is to advocate Love and Tolerance in the World.

Love is one of the most talk about topics in the World and yet when asked, "What is Love?", different people have different meanings for Love. There is no one True or Right way of describing what Love is. However, most believe and agree that the ultimate objective in True Love is for the greater good of the people you love. Kindness to yourself and to others comes from a desire to support your own highest good and the highest good of others. When your highest priority is to support the highest good of all, you are naturally kind. You don't even have to think about it. It flows easily when your deepest desire is to be a loving, caring person. We hope that you would not only make this true for people you love, but also for people around you in your community, in your country and around the World.

Let Us Spread Love Wherever We Go! - by Boon Kiat Chia

Loads of other articles at that site ...
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
From a search of happiness adversity ...

In her new book, Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg recounts her journey of healing after the death of her husband.

Losing a spouse is among the most devastating losses. Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg knows this firsthand. She lost her husband, Dave Goldberg, two years ago when he suffered a traumatic brain injury from a fall during their vacation.

But, with the help of family, colleagues, and friends—including management professor Adam Grant of the Wharton School—she learned how to cope with overwhelming grief and has even made strides toward finding joy again.

More at the greater good site -

How to Find Joy after Adversity
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
We all want to be happy. But there’s no doubt that some individuals seem to have been born happier than others. Why? No one knows. It can’t just be down to genes or environmental factors, or all siblings who live together and share the same parents would have identical levels of optimism and contentment - and this simply doesn’t happen.

But whatever our temperament, the great news is that it’s possible to improve our levels of happiness.

Until recently, scientists believed that once we grew to adulthood our brains were set in concrete and couldn’t change – except to deteriorate. But advances in neuroscience and scanning techniques have shown us otherwise. We now know that we can ‘rewire’ our brains throughout our lives as a result of what we do, and how we think.

How to make happiness a habit
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
Also from a recent site -

My friend from Sweden, Ingela Berger has written an e-book called "The Role of Your Life," which is quite unusual. I don't think you have read a book like this lately, because it presents a rather very different approach to personal growth. Ingela claims that you can change your life from the outside in. Most people claim the opposite, but Ingela turns things upside down!

For more details -

The Role of Your Life - Ebook by Ingela Berger

:)
 

Geoff-Allen

Resident megalomaniac
I guess this may apply to any year - not just 2018 :)

10 Questions To Ask Yourself For a Happier 2018

By Rachel Fintzy Woods

As the New Year approaches, you may be evaluating what has transpired in 2017 and what you’d like to experience in 2018. The following questions may help you to constructively and compassionately consider where you’ve progressed during this year, where you’ve possibly taken some unexpected or unhelpful detours, and where you’d like to go in the New Year.

Try to listen to your intuition and feelings as you look through these questions, rather than quickly answering in habitual ways. By adopting an attitude of “beginner’s mind”, you’ll be more likely to connect with your current truth and be able to come up with creative solutions. Begin with defining “what” the issue is and then move on to “how” you can contribute to effecting a change.

Also, make sure to give yourself credit for where you have moved in a positive direction, as defined by you, and notice how you’ve helped to bring about that change.

10 Questions To Ask Yourself For a Happier 2018

:)
 
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