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Don't settle for happiness?

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Geoff-Allen, Jan 12, 2019 at 3:15 PM.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    Hope you're all well.

    Here's an interesting article I found just recently -

    I suspect that many of us fall into this trap: We’re “supposed to be happy,” and in trying to be so, we push aside feelings that seem contrary to bliss. We suppress the uncomfortable feelings, thinking that will make room for happiness; but when we suppress any feeling, we suppress all feelings. Instead of increasing happiness, rejecting those “negative” feelings just creates numbness.

    Even worse, this emotional favoritism makes it extremely difficult to move forward. Emotions serve to signal opportunity and threat, and at the core, we have them to solve problems. We use mathematical data to solve math problems, we use emotional data to solve emotional problems. If we decided only to use even numbers, we’d have a hard time with algebra – the same thing happens with emotions and the algebra of relationships.

    In craving happiness, if we reject and devalue sadness, and a host of other valuable emotions as “in the way of happiness,” paradoxically we lose great data that would actually help us find a more profound and lasting happiness.

    Don’t Settle for Happiness: Emotional Intelligence and Life Worth Living • Six Seconds

    Enjoy!!
     
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  2. exchemist

    exchemist Well-Known Member

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    Perhaps I'm unfair but this reads to me like a very American - or perhaps New World - issue.

    I do not think that people in Europe feel a relentless pressure to be happy. Have a couple of drinks with a Frenchman or a Russian - or indeed an Englishman - and you soon find out what they are not happy about in their lives. But, when I lived in the USA, I was very struck by the social pressure to be upbeat, the whole time. I found it rather wearing - and suspected it to be fake, cynical Brit that I am.

    On the headline issue, I certainly agree that simply seeking happiness is a shallow goal in life. I suspect it is probably doomed to failure. Far better, I should have thought, to seek fulfilment. From that will come a certain amount of happiness - or at least contentment, as a side effect.
     
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  3. Nowhere Man

    Nowhere Man Bompu Zen Man with a little bit of Bushido.

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    It's a matter of false expectations. A reason why I'm a realist on so many things.

    If a person goes around in life saying I'm supposed to be happy and it simply does not happen then the disappointment is considerably magnified. That's why detachment is stressed. Not to turn you into an apathetic person, but rather give you the ability to navigate through the realities of life and to appreciate and enjoy all the more those aspects that are pleasant and comforting without the hang ups once they pass.
     
  4. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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  5. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    We humans are creatures of habit. We are remarkably resilient and have an extraordinary ability to adapt to our surroundings. When it comes to our sense of well being, we have something called a set point for happiness.

    The set point for happiness is psychological term that describes our general level of happiness. Each of us has a different set point—some have a high set point, meaning we are mostly happy; some of have a low set point, meaning we are mostly unhappy; while others fall somewhere in between. Our set point for happiness is based on our genetics and conditioning. While we may have emotional ups and downs throughout our lives, these are temporary. No matter what life throws at us, over time, our happiness bounces back to the same set point.

    More here -

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/meditation-modern-life/201709/your-set-point-happiness

    :)
     
  6. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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  7. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

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    More from recent browsing -

    Am I able to love myself with all of my positive and negative qualities?

    https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/9417/questions-about-life/

    Happiness articles at that site! -

    https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/mind/happiness/

    The Happiness Myth

    Blog | The Happiness Myth

    From my beginner's guide to reality ...

    Happiness set of skills that can be taught

    Brene Brown happiness

    World's happiest man - a few!

    Happiness resources - an inspired choice!? - yet 2 fully explore them all ...

    Embrace your vulnerabilities

    Enjoy your day!

    :)
     
  8. DavidMcCann

    DavidMcCann Well-Known Member

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    Like Aristotle and Mencius, I believe that cultivating the virtues is the best route to happiness. It won't guarantee happiness, any more than regular exercise and a balanced diet will guarantee health, but it's certainly a necessary start. But you certainly can't say "Today I'm going to be happy" — it's a gift, not a choice.
     
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